Fantasy Island

I went to Fantasy Island but my fantasy didn't come true.
I beat up Mister Roarke and I also tried to beat up Tattoo.
When Roarke refused to give me a refund, I went berserk.
I stomped him but when I tried to whip Tattoo, it didn't work.
He kicked my ass just like Mini-Me whooped Austin Powers.
I'm ashamed to say that that little person made me cower.
I have some valuable advice that I want to give to you.
If you go to Fantasy Island, don't try to fight Tattoo.

(This poem is a parody of the TV show.)