Neverland
By Starfish Girl
- 1587 reads
My writing class was given the task of putting a character from a 'novel' into a different situation. Not sure if this is too close to original!
Abi was bored. She yawned a big yawn, making as much noise as possible and showing two rows of perfectly formed and perfect teeth. Unfortunately her lion's roar had no effect on those sitting around her. Her next attempt was a large sigh, still no reaction. She stood up, brushing at the crumbs that had attached themselves to her clothes and finding a sliver of chocolate she popped it into her mouth. Recently she had discovered that she had a very pleasant singing voice, unfortunately she was the only one who thought so. She began to practice her favourite song.
'For heaven's sake Abi find something to do that does not involve annoying everyone else.' Saphira leant against the tree trunk and returned to her tablet. Abi couldn't really understand the term tablet she thought of it as something you swallowed to ease a pain but Saphira spent all day communicating with this 'tablet'.
'I wonder if it does ease a pain, Dylan did dump her last week?'
She made a last attempt to ease her boredom, stretching her arms up as high as she could she grasped the overhanging branch of the ancient oak tree.
'Tree, you have been here for hundreds of years, what stories can you tell?'
It felt almost as though the tree was enfolding her, understanding her, taking her into its secret realm.
Somehow she seemed to be hundreds of feet up, giving her a bird's eye view of the countryside. There was Saphira, her tablet almost melded, or welded to her body, her finger moving at the speed of light as she communicated with others at distant locations. The river wound its sinuous way between trees and grassland in its never ending attempt to reach the sea. She became aware of birds and insects as they conducted their daily ritual.
One bird in particular, a blackbird, caught her attention. Its feathers had the most unbelievable sheen, like the finest black silk. Its beak had borrowed its yellow from the yellowest of yellow daffodils, and its amber rimmed eye stared straight into her soul. It put its head to one side, exhibiting none of the fear that is usually common amongst such creatures, opened its mouth and began to sing its glorious song. When it had finished Abi couldn't help herself, she clapped her hands and cheered, almost falling off her branch as she did so.
'Do take care dear Abi, I'd hate to lose you when we've only just met.' His speaking voice was as beautiful and melodious as his singing voice. Abi was not surprised that he could speak, and that he knew her, convinced that she was asleep and was dreaming this. She glanced down to Saphira who was still engrossed with her tablet.
'Would you like to go on a journey with me and explore another world?'
Still convinced that there was no danger and that she would wake up at any moment she nodded her head. The blackbird indicated that she should follow him and he lead the way to a large knot hole, he easily hopped through but Abi had to squeeze he body into the smallest shape possible. Eventually she got through, covered in tree bark and leaf mould. There was the bird waiting, and staring. Abi failed to see the evil gleam in its eye.
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Comments
Nice take on the original,
Nice take on the original, and you capture a child's acceptance of the fantastic. Good lead in to whatever might be next - left me wanting more of this particular version!
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This is enchanting, Lindy,
This is enchanting, Lindy, and I think you have done a wonderful job. Close to the original or not, it is still a story told in your own inimitable way, and I should very much like to read on, if the road way so permits, of course.
Tina
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I love your story and like
I love your story and like Tina said, it's so enchanting. I would really like to read more.
Jenny.
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at a guess I'd say Alice, but
at a guess I'd say Alice, but perhaps not. down a knot hole and I'll guess we'll see.
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Hello Lindy!
Very good. The story is light-hearted and well-written, it's just the ending you leave the reader just hanging nowhere. Also, at the risk of sounding stupid, what/who is "Abi"? (Or, is supposed to be?)
Cheers & Nolan
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