Fish Siesta by mcmanaman
Fri, 2005-08-19 12:54
#1
Fish Siesta by mcmanaman
http://www.abctales.com/mcmanaman/fish_sestina
I liked this but I think it needs to be cooked down and reduced, like a sauce, to highten its flavour.
There's loads of good stuff in it, but it's a bit watery. What it needs is less volume, so that the individual flavours can become more pronounced.
I reckon it'd be possible to boil it down by half.
What does anyone else reckon?
mcmanaman
This was an experiment with writing sestinas, they do tend to be overlong, but as I've found in the past, they are good ways of structuring poems. Maybe i'll take it apart and now the idea is there, make a better go of it using something much looser.
neilmc
I think it's bloody brilliant! Surely there HAS to be six verses for it to work??
As an "art form" of course it's ridiculous, but I think Mcmamaman has handled the constraints exceptionally well and manages to be funny all the way through.
rokkitnite
The use of Michael Fish marks a new high for sestinas.