I like the tender mixed with the vicious. Would maybe question whether the capitalisation is on or off, as the first few lines seem confused. Other than that, classic Span. Kickass.
"I have a room for life at the Home for the Chronically Groovy."
"I have a room for life at the Home for the Chronically Groovy."
"I have a room for life at the Home for the Chronically Groovy."