Any advice?

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Fri, 2003-09-19 22:16

Claireb1982-(un...

Any advice?

Hello

I'm pretty new to this so I hope I'm in the right forum!! I've just started a new story but I would like some feedback if at all possible. I'm at that stage where I cant decide if the whole thing is worth carrying on with, or whether it might need scrapping. Any comments would be appreciated.

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I used to have thousands of ideas for my future. A million wild dreams. They were practically all immature girlish fantasies, but they seemed so imaginable back then. I spent hours and hours daydreaming, truly believing that eventually I would have the perfect body and the perfect life and that one day, the whole world would find me irresistible.

My wish list went on forever, becoming less daring and less outrageous as the years went by. Funny isn’t it, how the older you get, the more you seem to accept the basic agenda for life. Marriage becomes appealing, you go to work but only for the money, and you convince yourself that all you need to feel completely content with who you are and the life you lead is a child.

Although many of the dreams I had were ludicrous, there were a few that could have come true at some point. A few that weren’t exactly impossible. I mean, I could have been a music journalist, I could have written a book, and I could have gone to live in America. But I didn’t, and no longer is it possible for me. Not after what’s happened.

Jesus, if I’d known when I was eighteen I would turn out to be who I am today, I’d have killed myself there and then. What’s life without fun, excitement, adventure? I’ll tell you shall I? It’s safe. What’s so bad about safe? Safe is boring. Dull. Repetitive. Pointless. Every day is absolute torture for me. I never wanted safe; I just can not accept it. I never wished for a comfortable, normal life, but then nor did I wish for a life so full of fear. I’d kill myself today only like I said - I’m not as daring as I used to be. I hardly dare do anything in fact. I wont open the curtains, I sleep with the lights on, I refuse to own a telephone and I will never look into another mirror again for as long as I live. Paranoid? Maybe. Insane? Apparently. Terrified? Constantly.

[%sig%]

Sun, 2003-09-21 05:59

Steven

Begin with something like, "The older I got, the more I accepted the basic agendas of life: marriage got appealing, money became the motive for my going to work, etc. This was when all the dreams of my youth began to die. I wanted to die with them for they were the very dreams that had fed my desire to live for so long." Then begin to explore how the contradictory strains of your character's life 1. The desire to live her dreams out. 2. The desire to live out the basic agendae of life. forces her to go into yourself and figure out what her problem is, how it creates a paranoia about herself because she is unable to understand why she is the way she is, unable to relate to others through the basic agendae of life.

Mon, 2003-09-22 23:28

Dreamwriter

Hey! Claireb! It happens to lots of us! Dreams are great to write about, you can let your imagination run wild. But dreams are seldom for living in. That's life! That does not mean life stops and as for saying it's boring then that's your fault. Life is what you make it! Get out and make it! Don't wait for it to come to you. There are beautiful people out there and wonderful writers, great books to read. Have you read "The Gift of Asher Lev" by Chaim Potok. Its not about a writer but rather an artist and the struggle he had with life that encompases family, religion, friendships and of course art. It is based on his own experiences but it is fiction. Most good fiction is based on experience and if not, then the writer has done research on his topic otherwise it wouldn't work. The best writers are well read so get reading. The only person who feels sorry for you when you feel sorry for yourself, is you and only you can do something about it. Start small and grow with confidence. There is an old song that says, "No use sitting at home by yourself, Life is a cabaret old son so join in the cabaret" Good Luck!

Tue, 2003-09-30 13:37

Claireb1982

Thanks for that. I am a bit confused though (happens to me quite a lot). This story isn't actually based around me, rather a mix of people I know, and I'm trying to work out a bit of a twist as to why the main character is now so afraid of what she once longed for. Oh, I'll get there in the end, and I'll look out for a copy of The Gift of Asher Lev. Thank you for the feedback, I appreciate it.

Thu, 2003-10-09 21:00

cleveland w. gibson

You made me smile. I was reading what you had written and waiting for the story to start when hey... stop... she is into the story. Maybe you should have given the story a title. However, it seem all your thoughts are in a state of flux. First you think one way and then another. Might be better to gather you thoughts up into bundles. The positive on one side and the negatives on the other. At least your character would know where they were coming from. All the bad bits could be sorted out with training and discipline. Anyway best wishes with your writing.

Thu, 2003-10-09 22:21

Claireb1982

aaaah, well if you thought that - maybe dreamwriter did too and thought it was me complaining about my life. I don't know, I'm all confused... Have nearly finished that particular story though. Not sure how well it's worked but hey. Thanks for your comments. I agree, I dont think my characters got enough direction. Thats one of many things I struggle with. Anyway, thanks again. x

Tue, 2003-10-14 09:45

Alf Rogers

I have dipped into a few stories on this web and have submitted some myself. The majority of random stories I've read, I do not finish. I get bored. However I was sufficiently interested in your beginning to read on. I was partly hooked to find out where you were going. So for me it was a good start. I do not agree with cleveland- "Bundle your thoughts." If a person is confused - they are confusd and are disorganised. Their thought pattern is all over thee place and that's what your writing did. Good luck. Hope you finish it. [%sig%]

Tue, 2003-10-14 21:12

boybrowne

82....... this may steamroller the very point to this site or particular forum, not sure which banner this is under, but i would say be very wary of blindly embracing advice.......... especially from other writers and their particular ideals. i would sooner ask someone who had no such 'discipline'. ask an accountant to see what they think, or the pub landlord. i agree with alf, your story also made me hungrily read on, which i find unfortunately rare on this site. any 'organising' or other advice that you may implement, thinking its the 'right' thing to do may stifle the verve, the very idiosyncrasy that would naturally bring the best out in your work. attention will follow. if not, then i'm as much 'an unfortunate lunatic' as MR W. BLAKE (i wish) 'consume books and you will learn' is the best advice i ever had. if you have been following carefully then you will pay no atttention to this either. but one thing i know (trying not to sound too self righteous/deluded)if words are what you love, then YOU will know, in ya heart if its truly right/good/and so on...... p.s. i may pre-emptively change my user-name to arguewithme.

Tue, 2003-10-14 22:48

Claireb1982

Thank you for your comments... can't say as I thought of discussing it with my landlord though. Still, anything's worth a try. x

Wed, 2003-10-29 03:32

#10

Veronica

I was very interested in your story as it took my imagination to several places. You should finish this. You have something good to tell. [%sig%]

Wed, 2003-11-26 13:17

#11

hovis

I liked your style and enjoyed the opening it was a natural unravelling...I'd stick with gut feeling and take some advice.... but not all .....sometimes!!!!

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