Hippie Happening

The day I decided to become a hippie it rained, not that I am trying
to fit a cosmic happening to my drab ordinary life, it just rained cats
and dogs or it pissed on my parade whichever you prefer.

I lay in bed recovering from the night before with Joan Baez and Bob
Dillion still protesting in my head, my throat feeling as if a dozen
cats were copulating violently and not even the pale memory of coffee
dregs in the tin on the fire to drive them away and I decide to become
a hippie.

It was early, I chewed an aspirin vomited in all the colours of the
rainbow and in something colourless, put the pillow on my head and went
back to sleep.

The sun was already dipping her fingers in the sea when I woke up the
next time. I wondered where I could slime for something to eat; I
wasn't completely a hippie yet so I couldn't just rely on ganja. I
could get enough of that from my friends but they never seemed to have
normal food available.

I finally got up enough energy to clean up my liquid meal from the
night before and left my shack for the town.

At the harbour I noticed that my friends were still lying at anchor and
decided to pay them a visit. They had already eaten but there were
still a few beans and a bit of homemade black bread on the table.
Beans, especially red beans are not my favourite food and usually I
could not force the black bread through my throat. Swallowing black
bread is like trying to choke on a wet sheet! Okay people, beggars
can't be choosers I ate the bread and guzzled the beans. Feeling a bit
more solid I informed Carol of my decision to become a hippie. It might
have been the fatman she was smoking it took a long time for her to
realise what I was saying and when she answered I didn't have a clue
what she was talking about. This shit was good; They had a new
contact.

Robin was eating my toes when I gave in to the feeling and decided to
go to the head. I kicked him in his head, which was not very
hippie-like, but I wanted to go badly.

It was early and we left for someplace where the love was free and the
coke gratis (for this night only!) Me, I might be a hippie but that
sniffing on a runny nose the whole next day was not my cup of tea. I
was afraid of needles and I couldn't swallow pills. Yes say it, I was a
failure as a hippie but couldn't find it with the squares.

The party was in a shack even more decrepit than the one I rented for
fifteen dollars a month. There was a stack of tins in one corner ready
to catch the rain that leaked through the galvanised roof. The floor
was covered with carpet at least three inches thick and we draped
ourselves on expensive sofas. There was everything in that shack that a
dealer would ever want or need.

The grass was good even the free-range chickens in the yard were
finally stoned. The monkey was wasted and refused to play with his
dick.

I was happy; Ratty gave me a bottle of Johnny Walker black and said
"Enjoy