Condiments

Nobody knows
How to write poems
Or spread the right amount of
Jam...
- on toast.
Nobody knows
Whether cows like cheese
Or gerbils like
Peas
Or the Pope's dog suffers
From fleas.
Nobody has three legs,
Despite what you might have heard,
Or eats beef with lemon curd
Or has the final word.
But I know this...
Peanut butter
In the gutter
Is such a waste
Of paste.