Repetition of pain

Through years you have inspired me, broken me, choked me, coked me. I have let you because you were all I have ever wanted, you were all I have ever waited for, all I have ached for, cried out for. You've abandoned me, tossed me aside, chewed me up and spat me out like yesterday's left over. I've cried so hard, my hands are trembling, my lips are dried, my eyes are red, my body is numb.
I can't take it that every breath of air I take in it's you I think of and it kills me that you're gone. I wish I can just breathe you in and never let you out and let you linger in my system like some infectious bacteria eating out my organs.