Blame me

What was it that drove you away? Was it my tears, my fears or me? I resent your happiness and I know how selfish it must be, it is impossible to love your cruelty. I apologize for my inability to satisfy you, for being unable to conceal my emotions. I'm sorry for my unhappiness, and I'm sorry for my misery. Should I blame you then, for leaving me when I needed you the most, or should I admire your courage of demonstrating pure ignorance? You betrayed the person who has loved you unconditionally, you treated her emotions like a chew toy, does it satisfy you? Does my tears and sorrows amuse your blacken heart? You are the deadliest lover, but also the best trickster, you had me. I was always ahead but no, this time you were, you always were, and you threw my heart to a pack of hungry coyotes, lovely that's what you are. You were the most beautiful glass, the most stunning painting and the most painful prick on my finger. You threw my love away and cast me so far aside, what are you waiting for? Finish it! I deserve it don't I, for putting you through one month of pain, no your five years of torment was nothing to me, I was the cruel one wasn't I? I took you in my arms disregarding your past, anticipating our future, you took me in yours, criticizing my existence, you were unwilling to help me, you were reluctant, I hate your cruelty because it made no difference to me, your love was all that I needed and wanted and it never made it doubt you. Not even when I should. No, blame me, for letting you in on my sickness.