The Inside Leg
By patrick_allard
- 955 reads
On this day in 1974, Otto Van Buren, a candidate for federal chancellor, quit the race for the countries' top job in cloud of dishonour and discomfiture. Opinion polls had been spilt and there was not more than 1% separating Buren and his main rival, a one Helmut Kohl, who went on to become German's longest serving chancellor of the 20th century.
A week before the elections Van Buren Travelled back to his home town in Leipzig to promote his pledge to help family run businesses. Here, a usually quiet tailors was overrun by journalists and photographers. The shop owner Sten Hinkel, an old friend of Van Buren's, had been given strict instructions and when Buren arrived he greeted him warmly and led him through to the back where the crowd were waiting. Buren undid his jacket to a wave of flashing bulbs and climbed onto the small platform. Nervously dusting him down Sten began to take his measurements, calling out numbers to his son who scribbled them down on a scruffy notepad.
His chest was a healthy 40 inches and Buren smiled towards the cameras as the number was called out. With the jacket finished Van Buren dropped his trousers and stood solid while Sten slyly switched the normal measuring tape for the special tape given to him by Buren's men. Awkwardly, with the eyes of the nation on him, Sten began the trousers.
The mood in the room began to grow anxious. Sten rolled the tampered tape measure down the outside of Buren's leg. "38 inches. he called out and his son who, along with most of the men in the room, jotted down his exclamation. The other leg was exactly the same size and Buren made a joke about being grateful that he did walk in circles and tipped the crowd a greasy wink. Sten pushed on wrapping his arms around his waist and had only one more measurement to take.
Sten pressed the metal end of the coiled tape measure level with Buren's ankle bone and unrolled it all the way up the inside of his leg. When he reached the top he shifted round so the crowd could get a clear view, leaving his thumb pressed against Buren's thigh. "34 inches. he said loudly and Buren stood there proudly. A man's leg. The photographers began wildly snapping pictures of the number in bold black type set against the white tape which sat just above Sten's thumb nail. Sten's son looked visibly irked and didn't write the number down. Sten called at him to write the number down but he was clearly puzzled by the figures. Buren acted quickly and pulling up his trousers he thanked everyone for coming.
It was too late. The crowd began to call out to Sten's son who was being shoved through the door into the next room. During the ensuing melee the tape measure was wrenched from Sten's hands and wrestled away by an unrestrained member of the press. Unravelling the tape the entire country watched as the sequence jumped from 22 to 27. Those missing four deceitful digits brought a near instantaneous end to Buren's campaign.
Van Buren announced his retirement from politics a year later when it was discovered that he was unable to swim.
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