The Dunghill Ants and The Elephant

Once upon a time there was a large colony of ants, known as dunghill ants. They, of course, did not know that they were called that, nor why it might seem a very appropriate name. Though they were of average intelligence as ants go (how, indeed could they not be?) they were introspective to a degree. To such a degree, indeed, that they were completely unaware of any other species except themselves. Or almost!

There were a few ants, very few by now, who still believed in a very old story, a legend one might almost say, that long, long ago an amazing, a unique ant had told.

All dunghill ants, as everyone knows, are nocturnal creatures. Even at night they seldom venture out of their dunghill homes, and their eyesight is very, very poor.

Yet this unique ant, all those years ago, told an incredible story of how he had ventured out, perhaps quite mistakenly, during the hours of daylight. In the course of this imprudent venture he had seen - an elephant!

Now even as ants go, dunghill ants are very small. A fully grown male measures just one millimeter in length and the females are slightly smaller. It is only with difficulty therefor that we can appreciate how immeasurably large this elephant seemed to the only dunghill ant who had ever seen one.

But this was not the only wonder that this uniquely venturesome ant had to report. With his own eyes, he said, he had seen this elephant defecate. Now how are we to refer to these incredible faeces? Let us call them elephant poohs.

The really unimaginable part of the story was that these elephant poohs were exactly like their own eponymous dunghill homes. This was a completely unacceptable story and by almost universal acclaim the unnatural ant was put to death

In the course of time however the few ants who had believed him were able to persuade others that this story was true. For quite a long time it became more or less received opinion that the story was true, that the elephant did exist and that their dunghill homes were indeed his poohs.

In recent times however scorn has been poured on such a ridiculous tale. It was just a legend based on a thoroughly improbable tale told by one ant who may, quite possibly, have been an apocryphal character.

Where is the proof? What proof could there possibly be? The whole idea, apart from being unbelievable, was thoroughly demeaning to the status and self-respect of dunghill ants. The most you could say for the story is that it is some kind of creation myth.

The story is now thoroughly discredited by those who form and lead public opinion in the dunghill ant world, most particularly in high academic circles.

We can safely leave the last words to one of the profoundest thinkers in the dunghill world. "It is not, as Niezsche might have put it, that Elephant is dead. Elephant never existed, could not have existed and never will exist. Dunghill ant makes his own home, without reference or recourse to Elephant. And there is absolutely no proof of Elephant's existence. "

Some of the few remaining believers in what we may now call the elephant myth mutter to themselves that absence of proof is not proof of absence.

If you are a modern, up-to-date, no-nonsense dunghill ant you certainly will not believe that your whole existence takes place a heap of shit, sorry - pooh.