Ghost Chain

I've been invisible to some people for a while now, pushed away from those who I truly care about and totally neglected from my family at times when I needed them the most. Not anymore.
I'm going to be the person I want to be. I'm done living life 'your way.' It's my way from now on, and if I have to face everything on my own because you don't like my choices, then so be it. I'm done with living in the shadows of who I'm supposed to be, I want to spread my wings and actually live my life, instead of wasting it behind textbooks, schoolwork and homework.
I want to have fun, party and meet exciting people and become friends. Best friends maybe.
I want to do something bad. I don't care what it is, but I'm done being 'the good girl' all the time. I never got in trouble at school, never got detention, suspended or put on report, nothing exciting other than having all my work done on time, and homework handed in on the correct date, and I got picked on for it. Sometimes my 'friends' would even join in and call me teacher's pet. I got bullied everyday, because it was what you wanted. I suffered for you. No matter what I did, you made it worse. I used to dread coming home, avoid it sometimes, just because I knew what would be waiting for me when I came through the door. The shouting, flying objects, and hitting. Everything a teenager wants to come home to. Not.
This would be about my dad. He hasn't always been this way, or this bad anyway. It all kicked off majorly 5 years ago when my mother died of a brain tumour at the age of 32. She was a beautiful woman, filled with life and spirit. Her long blonde hair dangling down to her waist and getting tangled in the wind. Her deep blue eyes, which put Egyptian oceans to shame, her to-die-for cheekbones, and stunning, figure. She was amazing, and I never thought I'd see the day she died. Her tombstone is the most beautiful tombstone I've ever seen. The biggest angel in the cemetery, on both knees with hands pressed together, praying. It kinda reminded me of her, in so many ways.
I visit her grave often. Usually when everything has kicked off at home and I need to get away. I'll talk to her, tell her about my day, whether it was good or bad. I told her everything when she was alive, so why change it cause she died? She was my best friend, the only person I truly trusted with everything.
Apart from my dad. I kept him a secret, mainly because he threatened me that if I told her, I wouldn't make it through the night and would in no doubt be dead before my 18th birthday. He scared me more than anything in the world. He is the main reason I am where I am, he's the reason I did what I did, and he was the reason I can no longer be myself, or with anyone else.
I'm dead.
Not just a way of saying that I'm alone and abandoned or any of that crap. I'm actually dead. A ghost, if you want to think of it that way. I was 16 and just left school for my summer exams, I went home on the last day smiling that I'd finally finished that crappy school, got rid of everyone that had picked on me for the past 5 years and I was finally free! I could get a job, go out, and live life my way, just like I'd planned for ages, but was too afraid to actually do. I didn't have a care in the world about anything else apart from finally doing what I like. Just had to get through the exams though, and I couldn't wait to get them done and dusted and then make a decision on what I would do next. Find full time work? Sixth form? College? Part-time work and still in education? Only time would tell what would be better for me to do, actually, it depends on my grades as well. But I was a bright student, I always got straight A's and I was very clever.
It's what my mother would have wanted, so I wanted it too.