The Time Machine of Thorrocks Manor - 2

2
“Well, sir, if I first might be so bold as to replace the coffee decanter on its silver tray and to now close the double doors to the dining room ... thus ... and if I might propose that you now angle your head somewhat to the right and lean forward slightly but not so much as to burn your left in the steaming porridge in front of you, I feel confident that you will then espy Miss Vu standing on the wall of the garden perimeter, facing towards the adjoining street and gesticulating wildly.”
“Very well, thus, thus, thus, ... I can’t see anything. Do have a warm left ear, though.”
“Might I suggest, sir, that you would be advised to make use first of your monocle.”
“Good plan, Gargers – okay, so back up with the head, firmly facing forward again, reach out for monocle ... found it! ... firmly in front of left eye, ram down with left eyebrow, thus achieving quite a supercilious look, and repeat previous procedure ... well, I can see the wall now, but I can’t see anyone on it.”
“Well, sir, that would be because, while you were deftly undertaking your manoeuvres, Miss Vu happened to fall off the wall.”
“Well, I can’t see anyone lying on the ground beside said wall.”
“Ah sir, that would be because Miss Vu effected a fall onto the other side of the wall, thus rendering herself out of view.”
“Oh, I see, but don’t you think she might be in some distress? Don’t you think you should see if she’s okay.”
“I feel that that is unnecessary sir, as she is somewhat inscrutable.”
“Is she now? Well, yes, I see your point, though I confess I am still troubled by your lack of care. ... I am beginning to realise that you’re a bit of a rum character, Gargers. Where was that place I found you?”
“St Jasper’s, sir.”
“Well, yes, well, I thought St Jasper’s was a domestic recruitment agency run by nuns, I didn’t realise it was an Infirmary for the Criminally Insane.”
“An easy mistake to make, sir. Might I suggest that you remove your ear from the porridge and break into it before it becomes cold, sir, as I now add the carefully warmed milk to it?”
“Good plan.”
“As I am somewhat skilled at multiple tasking, I am happy to report that Miss Vu has returned to her previous position on the wall and would appear not to have been inconveniencved by her recent fall.”
“Excellent. You know, Gargers, as much as it is awfully fun sitting here in one’s breakfast room being served by one’s man, deep within sunny Kensington, when the air is crisp and the environs quiet now that the all-night party flappers have gorn home, I cannot help but enquire why you are so continuously and assiduously pouring the morning’s carefully warmed milk into my bowl so that it is now flowing into the under-positioned wide saucer and the white liquid is spreading into the once crisp white tablecloth in a manner that is reminiscent of the delta of the Ganges ...”
“ I am not entirely certain that the Ganges could technically be said to have a delta, sir.”
“... very well, in a manner that is reminiscent of the delta of the Amazon, so that is now pouring onto my pink pyjama bottoms and thence into my fluffy slippers.”
“Forgive me sir; I will desist forthwith from any further pouring. I confess that I was distracted, sir, by my current view of Miss Vu, sir.”
“Miss who?”
“Miss Vu, sir. Miss Déjà Vu”