Infinite Mind

I start to become my thoughts... Live in the mind of a messiah, a devil, a sorcerer.

Being locked away from the others doesn't help. I can hear them out
there in the halls, in the other rooms talking and shouting. My ears
catch every sound and word, the brain incorporating whatever it hears
into the intricate stories I've created... My senses heightened from the
lack of external stimuli, I completely forget why I need contacts or
glasses--can see every hair on my arm in such fine detail.

A desire to be one with the elements would often take over me. standing
up, I press my chest to the cold window, and like a lizard on a plant,
become one with it. I was the cold, the glass and the nature that lay
in-front of me. After a few minutes I was too cold, too still and
ventured forth for the other extreme: the heat. I warmed my body up with
exercises, push-ups and kicks--the once cold heart beating fast
releasing fire.

I can kind of see now why I was kept there, not
even once told where I was or why I was there... It was perhaps so I
could play it all out... get it out of my system and hopefully come out
of it thinking rationally again. But before I was anywhere near
rational, I went on many journeys--enough to inspire a book. It was
actually a gift to be with myself uninterrupted around the clock, with
the exception of the three meals I got daily. I no longer had the
ability to escape boredom or discomfort with a book, a song, a movie or a
person. I got to know the depths of my mind. And what I learned was
that with enough continued silence I could believe anything I told
myself. Definitely a useful tool if used properly.

                                                                                            Abdulaziz Ugas