The Church of Lost Souls 19

I got up and put my clothes from last night back on, then I thought about my things in the room at the campsite. There was no rush. I could always pay for an extra night if need be.

Walking into the living room I pulled all the curtains open and went into the kitchen to see what was there. The fridge was bare so I picked up the keys and went in search of the essentials.

When I got outside I realised I was slapbang in the middle of my old job-hunting area, just around the corner from Il Pezzentelle. I walked for a while but it felt strange being there again. Having made a conscious decision to put The Church of Lost Souls behind me for good, I didn´t even think of going to see if the joke shop was there as Sofia and Paolo had said. I wanted no more to do with it, even when without it I would never have found Maria.

The English girl at the embassy came to mind. I´d have to thank her for her help, maybe pop over there sometime and thank her in person.

When I visited Rome with the school aged fourteen I had the oddest feeling that I´d been there before. When we were taken to The Coliseum, we went down to the underground sprawl and for a few brief moments I went into a kind of trance. Standing still I could hear an echoing march of hundreds of feet and the low, murmuring voices of grown men, jostling wearily. There were only a few dozen of us kids down there and we were all wearing pumps so it couldn´t have been us. I thought it might have been a tannoy retracing the steps of those who´d suffered before us but when I asked a friend if he´d heard the same thing he said he hadn´t.

Since then, I´ve had similar experiences but only on acid and/or mushrooms. I knew that was just the drugs. There was a difference here, though, and I honestly thought I’d lived a previous life in Rome. Maybe it was just romance.

After my three-day hitch this time, I´d arrived in Rome a self-confessed prodigal, a warrior ready for the fight. Being blackmarket, the endless trudge looking for work not only exhausted me, it all but extinguished my sense of belonging with the city. Having to leave for Naples just to save money left me feeling detached and even angry at the place, even when I knew my hopes rested with Maria.

Having come back to find there was no job, I’d pretty much given up on Rome when she called the campsite. 

Now, though, my life had changed overnight. As far as work went the battle had been won. Even if I still didn´t know what I was supposed to be doing the future looked bright and breezy.

As I walked along the esplanade I noticed girls looking at me and smiling. That never happened even once before. I´d sat night after night at the steps hoping for company yet no one had arrived. Not even a hello. Those nights were like another world, a very lonely world.

A great looking girl brushed my arm in passing and smiled at me as she went. Could women actually sense that my circumstances had changed? Could they see in my eyes and posture that I´d just had the best sex in my life?

At a small supermarket across the way from the flat I bought some bread, butter, eggs, tea bags, milk and sugar and headed back upstairs.

I fiddled around enough in the kitchen to put a cup of tea, two fried eggs and some buttered toast onto a large plate and return to the living room, where at the dining table I pulled out a chair and ate up.

I´d noticed a television from the night before so I hunted around for the remote control and eventually found it on one of the sofas, where I sat to see what was on.

I hadn´t even seen a television since Hastings, where I´d watched far it far too much for too long.

Italian TV seemed pretty crap. Channels one, two and three were news and drab light entertainment that I couldn´t understand. When I got to channel four, which I later understood is called Retequattro, I was pleased to fall upon an episode of Wonder Woman, which I watched avidly. I couldn´t understand a word of it but that was OK. My mind drifted back to Hastings, to wet afternoons in with music, joints, bacon and baked beans and telly.

What I missed most about Blighty was Mum, but a Full English breakfast was hot on her tail. Remembering that I´d soon have money for kicks I wondered whether there´d be a place I could eat a Full English, maybe an Irish pub.

Until then, I’d never dreamt that I might be able to have a pint of Guinness and a fry-up at one of those places.

I had a roll up at the window and looked out onto the esplanade, now teeming with people traversing in a parade of homage to and from the steps. From the third floor I was high enough not to be noticed whatsoever by the colourful droves swirling around below.

Thinking of Mum I pondered how joyous she would be here with me and instinctively went to look for some paper and a pen. Finding these in a kitchen drawer I pulled a small table and a chair over to the window and wrote a heartening, news packed letter to her.

As I looked around the room, though, that strange feeling of having come so far in so little time arrived. For some reason, having written everything down made it feel unjustified and I felt uncomfortable, unworthy, almost guilty in this quiet opulence.

Having won Maria’s heart I should have been dancing with joy but it wasn’t so. There were questions to answer.

With the ten year age-gap I considered myself to be a bit of a puppy in her hands. She was obviously a competent, committed lover, but she was also rich, with child and heaven knew what else. Did she work for a living? Was she an artist? Knowing so little about her, I presumed that I was an inadequate match for her.

What was so special about this layabout from Hastings? What had she seen that set me apart from everyone else? If she could have anyone she wanted, why me?

I couldn’t very well put these queries to her. I had to slow down. Take it easy. Everything is as it should be. Besides she’d probably be appalled.

There was a music centre on a table to the right of the fireplace. I flicked through a few tapes and albums but didn´t recognise any of the artists so I took a little stroll through the flat. I’d have loved to have cranked up Killing Joke to full volume and pranced around the place but my tapes were at the campsite.

In the hallway could be found a lavatory, the kitchen, a few cupboards and at the end of the corridor a small bedroom that gave onto a courtyard. I went inside and wished I could tell Paolo to come and stay. But it wasn´t my place. I didn´t even know what I was doing there.

Going back into the living room I looked out the window to check the time on a clock above the entrance of a pharmacy and saw it was four o´clock.

A crack of lightning ushered in thunder as in a matter of minutes the sky darkened and a deluge of rain came and swept away all the people. Some muscled into shop entrances as others sped off down alleys and streets.  

As I turned back into the room I saw Maria by the front door. Her hair was drenched.

´I´ll get you a towel,´ I said, racing into the bathroom.

By the time I´d got back she´d shed her clothes onto the parquet floor beside her. All that remained were her knickers and bra.

As I went to dry her hair from behind her she turned and kissed me.

´Did you miss me?´ she asked.

´Of course,´ I said, dropping the towel to take her breasts in my hands.

´Let´s go to bed,´ she said.

We resumed proceedings admirably.

Afterwards, Maria told me that Arturo had picked my stuff up from the campsite and would be over shortly. It felt wrong that I hadn´t gone back myself. I wanted to say hi to Sofia and let her know where I was in case she´d decided to stay on or bye if she was heading off. I wondered if she might want to stay at Maria´s with me but that, I quickly realised, wouldn´t have worked. She´d have only wanted to crack the whip on the case.

´How´s Giovanni?´ I asked.

´He´s fine thanks,´ said Maria.

´Have you told him about me?´

´No, not yet,´ she said. ´He´s away on holiday with his father.´ She squeezed my hand.

´How long´s he gone away for?´ I asked.

´Two weeks,´ she said with a greedy smile, ´which means we have two weeks to do whatever we want.´