Dafty Limericks

There was an old man from Peru

who had terrible trouble with shoes.

It happened, he said,

when he wore them to bed

and marched in his sleep

all night through.

*            *          *

There was a fakir from Bombay

who said nothing to no-one all day.

His metaphysical bent

was nearly all spent,

and with it his tongue

went away.

*         *          *

A weird acting man from Dundee,

who once was a zero, you see,

he rants and he raves,

as if fit for the grave,

and I'm terribly sure

that he's me!