KIRSTY!!!

How can you win back
the housemates you've appalled
after one too many tales
of [reading about] scatting,
[hearing of] corpse-love
and jokes
[JOKES!]
about incest and bumming?

My name has surely never
been injected
with so much horror
as the time I managed
to turn
a discussion on Madonna
into a list of songs
with hidden layers
of masturbation,
underage rutting and Japan's
unusual legal loophole
regarding pubic hair,
via "Like A Prayer."

This is just the algae
on the pondlife of my smutty depths.
You can place bets
on how long it'll take
before tea and cake
becomes teats and how to make
a sex swing out of an old bike pump,
coat hangers, rolled up Grazias
and string.

It's not like they're nuns,
though they could be choristers,
the pitch they hit
collectively screeching,
as I sip my tea,
grinning sheepishly.