King of the Road

King of the Road

He sits at the red light
All throttle and revs
Him and his mate Darren
Are going 'round Bev's
Sullen face smirking,
Cap facing back
A picture of moron
Wheels hand painted black

His techno beat sounding
All speakers and bass
His calling card volume
Is so in yer face
Spot lights and fast stripes
Adorn his first love
Insurance write off
Reclaimed from above

Sits gunning the throttle
He wants you to race
Twin carburettors waiting
Thrust into hyperspace
With petrol injection
And at least Gti
Fuck earth's gravitation
Reach for the sky

Sound system more powerful
Than the motor in gear
Approaching from behind
That's the first thing you'll hear
Fetching gold earring
Shaven head; shades
Handbrake turn at Tesco's
He's got it in spades

Suspension lit and lowered,
Fast racing turns
Hasn't considered
How fast petrol burns
Arm out the window
One hand on the wheel
This wonder-boy racer
Thinks all the girls squeal

No, never a boy, this one
No childhood to roam
Absent father one night past
Created a clone
Fast on the straight roads
Not so good on the bends
Never stops to consider
How he lost two good friends

White wall tyres spinning,
Wide angle wheels
Thinks this must be how
Saddam Hussain feels
He's right behind you
Loud gangsta rap
Never slowing to undo
A cocaine line wrap

A graduate of The
Retard Motor School
No lessons for this lad
Pay to learn aint too cool
Never taken a lesson
No insurance or tax
Hates all other drivers
'Specially Gypo's and Paks

Helped to drive so much faster
Using lager as fuel
Loud-mouthed ignorant bastard
And everyone's fool
Drives past the flowers
Laid by side of the road
Never for one moment
Thinks that way he'll go

Be aware you're in the presence
Of the King of the Road
Best mate died when he wrapped it
Caused the car to explode

Thought the old days past
When so many lads keeled
Another blood poppy rises
In the new Flanders Field