Man VS Food

Man VS Food

Step right up, Step right up and welcome to the freak-show feast,
Where Man transforms into the beast it eats,
Bush tucker trials where we eat horrid frights that would make the audience stare,
Creepy Cuisine from the menu of a nightmare,
When they are not watching it on telly they are recreating it in challenges to disturb and fill their belly,
Come dine with me into Hells kitchen of flames and heat,
Step right up, step right up and take a safe seat,

Childplay Chilli Pepper,
Is not the way forward the groups they seat experienced in their arts,
But scared to burp or fart,
Jalapeno Clique,
“ Jesus, Jeepers, Jeez” in the devilish diner you hear them cry,
Jumping up and down like flaming springs as their taste buds slowly die,
Jagged little armies of bumps invade their mouths,
Jesus, don’t even want to think about what’s happening down south,
Jetting to the toilet, or to find water or milk to sooth the pain,
Judges of peers all watch with glee, as their prey’s mouth is now the inferno that makes them insane,
Just a joke a prank a game of will and strength not a Delicatessen delight,
Justifiable juvenile channagans of self-mortification and a pallets fright,
Jikininki’s curse surely could be more sweet,
I thought food was for survival just something to eat?
Restraunt roulette with packs of animals howling like banshees jumping out of their seats.

Habenero Horror Show,
“ Holy Cow, Hot hot hot, Hell’s Bells” in the café now a chaotic circus you hear them scream,
Huddled hunched up like a sick animal wanting salvation or a bowl of ice cream,
Hot, flushed faces crimson in colour look like balloons just about to burst,
“ Holy Cow” they cry as their bodies look like they are about to die of thirst,
Hovering round the bathroom door, pushing and shoving each other out of the way,
Hoards of people observe them like they are in a freak show, they sit and they stay,
How humorous it is to see the trials of youth and courage not a sumptuous scran,
Humiliating, honourable shows for amusements in torturing their bodies, their fellow man,
Harpy wouldn’t even steal the food from Phineus in the myth,
I thought food was precious a gift,
Café Chambers of torture where people manifest into Cats playing with their food like a toy.

Dining can be a terrifying taste bud experience,
Like catching a whale with a fishing rod,
But at least its not as deadly, as buying a pie from Sweeny Todd.