Whoosh

Love is like a whoosh! Your head feels like it contains the whole universe with planets crashing around and stars bursting into light. And then there's the darkness in between it all. Light and darkness, good and evil, right and wrong. That's love! Love is the sheer wondrous expanse of the eternal void. Love contains everything and is everything. Love is feast and famine all in one. Love is life and slow death. Love is a parasite that feeds on your soul.

I love the clear expression on his face, his grey-blue eyes and his white teeth. He has an intensity about him; a passion, and his face is unfettered by constrictions of doubt.

Love can be a big thing or something that is curled up deep within you like a precious stone that needs to be searched for and found. Love can be red and passionate or blue and slow. White and pure, black and deathly.

Love can answer all questions and ask questions that have no answers. Love is the infinite, the Godly, the End.

Time runs fast and then too slowly.

I cannot describe how I feel. I am lost in a cosmos of eternal beauty without order, in a world that is spinning without end. I have lost control and spiral in ever increasing circles around the centre of that world. I have lost clear thought and my actions are a paradox. I pray to God and despise him simultaneously. I want God to let me live but let Him watch me slowly die in cloying smoke.

I must walk away and return to the long preparation of my grave. I cannot condemn his eyes to watch me fail and I do not wish to see the hatred fester in his clear face when wonderment turns to dull routine.