Brooklands

I live in East London.

I have 292 stories in 18 collections on the site. My stories have been read 274559 times and 118 of my stories have been cherry picked

My Stories

Eldridge Tiffin is...

First published on October 24, 2009 - 13:03  | 261 reads

Hitchcockian

First published on December 8, 2008 - 23:28  | 420 reads

Large Collider

First published on December 1, 2008 - 14:36  | 457 reads

Another interesting way to die that I'll never experience

First published on November 26, 2008 - 11:09  | 427 reads

Dear under-neighbours, I live on the top floor

First published on September 22, 2008 - 09:24  | 492 reads

Bid for a readership

First published on September 19, 2008 - 10:44  | 491 reads

Susan makes me think of something

First published on September 2, 2008 - 16:45  | 527 reads

Distances in distances

First published on August 29, 2008 - 10:29  | 476 reads

Breakfast

First published on August 12, 2008 - 10:13  | 482 reads

The Gambler

First published on August 11, 2008 - 11:49  | 555 reads

The First Date Vs. The Drunk

First published on August 7, 2008 - 17:18  | 488 reads

Self-discovery

First published on July 24, 2008 - 10:59  | 446 reads

Cave dive

First published on July 23, 2008 - 14:07  | 402 reads

Colophon

First published on July 16, 2008 - 14:59  | 473 reads

Richard Hanover: Private Dick, Part Three

First published on July 3, 2008 - 18:06  | 390 reads

Richard Hanover: Private Dick. Part Two

First published on July 3, 2008 - 14:46  | 560 reads

Richard Hanover: Private Dick

First published on July 3, 2008 - 11:41  | 441 reads

Test

First published on July 2, 2008 - 11:37  | 467 reads

Hawaii

First published on June 24, 2008 - 10:28  | 465 reads

My conception marks the end of progressive rock

First published on June 20, 2008 - 17:34  | 505 reads

Friends, I come to you today with the most wonderful opportunity

First published on June 16, 2008 - 15:52  | 637 reads

I still remember her name

First published on June 16, 2008 - 12:14  | 447 reads

Most people don't realise

First published on June 10, 2008 - 16:22  | 504 reads

He is watching you

First published on May 20, 2008 - 20:07  | 1125 reads

Five Short-lived Kings of the House

First published on April 23, 2008 - 16:51  | 444 reads

Carpentry for beginners

First published on April 23, 2008 - 12:52  | 771 reads

Dream

First published on April 22, 2008 - 15:39  | 532 reads

Dead Rails: Five Shows

First published on April 10, 2008 - 13:16  | 571 reads

The New Honesty

First published on April 9, 2008 - 10:11  | 476 reads

A disastrous campaign in bohemia

First published on April 7, 2008 - 18:26  | 494 reads

It is sometimes useful to imagine your housemates are dead

First published on March 6, 2008 - 12:47  | 515 reads

Sublimation

First published on March 5, 2008 - 12:39  | 1289 reads

It’s simple and natural

First published on March 4, 2008 - 16:14  | 463 reads

We dragged her ashore

First published on March 4, 2008 - 12:52  | 488 reads

Salute to the sun

First published on February 28, 2008 - 11:14  | 647 reads

The Salon At The Pinnacle Of Man

First published on February 26, 2008 - 14:06  | 505 reads

Page 200 from a novel you have not read

First published on February 26, 2008 - 10:55  | 513 reads

Urbanagrarian

First published on February 21, 2008 - 15:41  | 451 reads

If it's for me, it's for everyone

First published on February 6, 2008 - 18:46  | 529 reads

To the Matterhorn

First published on January 26, 2008 - 13:58  | 513 reads

Seven paternity claimants

First published on January 10, 2008 - 12:18  | 553 reads

Stockings

First published on December 18, 2007 - 11:30  | 575 reads

Never Crouch, Peter

First published on December 17, 2007 - 16:14  | 590 reads

Local Networks

First published on December 17, 2007 - 15:49  | 548 reads

Instant Fires

First published on December 12, 2007 - 12:59  | 1239 reads

Confection

First published on December 11, 2007 - 13:20  | 517 reads

Gulling

First published on December 5, 2007 - 15:55  | 572 reads

Catastrophes

First published on December 5, 2007 - 12:41  | 536 reads

Harboil: Part VI.

First published on December 3, 2007 - 17:07  | 498 reads

Cabaret de Self-reflexivity

First published on November 13, 2007 - 17:33  | 531 reads

Oh I am hungry

First published on November 2, 2007 - 15:12  | 1037 reads

Gland V. Galway

First published on November 1, 2007 - 18:20  | 508 reads

Gland IV. Edinburgh

First published on October 31, 2007 - 14:01  | 502 reads

Rat King

First published on October 26, 2007 - 12:37  | 653 reads

Harboil: Part V

First published on October 24, 2007 - 17:52  | 627 reads

Gland III. West Wales

First published on October 23, 2007 - 11:08  | 731 reads

Gland II. London

First published on October 23, 2007 - 10:46  | 573 reads

Review #3: “Gretel’s Biscuits” by Spack

First published on October 22, 2007 - 12:31  | 604 reads

Monster

First published on October 22, 2007 - 12:11  | 573 reads

Fire

First published on October 22, 2007 - 11:43  | 553 reads

Harboil: Part IV

First published on October 16, 2007 - 17:29  | 523 reads

Intelligent animals

First published on October 10, 2007 - 18:54  | 667 reads

Sanguinaccio

First published on October 8, 2007 - 17:33  | 686 reads

Nineteen First Lines

First published on October 4, 2007 - 19:21  | 604 reads

Harboil: Part III

First published on October 1, 2007 - 16:04  | 574 reads

Abergavenny

First published on October 1, 2007 - 15:34  | 2454 reads

Harboil: Part II

First published on September 27, 2007 - 10:03  | 596 reads

Expansion Pack

First published on September 26, 2007 - 15:36  | 682 reads

G

First published on September 21, 2007 - 13:28  | 563 reads

Bully Myths: “Chunk vs Kung Fu Hugh”

First published on September 10, 2007 - 16:40  | 726 reads

I am not a worm

First published on August 3, 2007 - 00:56  | 624 reads

The Warmest Room

First published on July 31, 2007 - 14:17  | 613 reads

Review #1

First published on July 31, 2007 - 14:00  | 574 reads

Theology

First published on July 31, 2007 - 13:00  | 576 reads

Future Dating

First published on June 14, 2007 - 11:34  | 883 reads

We do our own stunts

First published on June 11, 2007 - 16:18  | 822 reads

Harboil: Part I.

First published on June 11, 2007 - 15:19  | 798 reads

I used to hate my sister

First published on June 8, 2007 - 11:11  | 660 reads

This Is Crispin

First published on June 4, 2007 - 15:57  | 1487 reads

Cherry

First published on May 23, 2007 - 13:09  | 658 reads

Funereal

First published on May 23, 2007 - 12:43  | 611 reads

The Actual Queen

First published on May 21, 2007 - 13:17  | 1033 reads

Flint

First published on May 21, 2007 - 13:12  | 1176 reads

Everyone's got a spotlight

First published on May 21, 2007 - 13:09  | 631 reads

Alternative Ending

First published on May 15, 2007 - 16:32  | 845 reads

Brief thoughts on humanity

First published on May 15, 2007 - 16:31  | 597 reads

Racing game

First published on May 15, 2007 - 16:27  | 628 reads

Explanation

First published on May 14, 2007 - 18:39  | 690 reads

Hard To Get

First published on April 7, 2007 - 09:57  | 833 reads

It's not time to make a change

First published on March 28, 2007 - 11:42  | 3652 reads

Gland I. Ely

First published on March 26, 2007 - 18:05  | 840 reads

5:32

First published on March 22, 2007 - 18:34  | 769 reads

Filters

First published on March 20, 2007 - 19:58  | 736 reads

The Show

First published on February 28, 2007 - 16:15  | 758 reads

The Dead No Story

First published on February 28, 2007 - 16:00  | 754 reads

Still bad whale song

First published on January 25, 2007 - 12:06  | 751 reads

The Outage

First published on January 23, 2007 - 13:47  | 741 reads

Basement

First published on January 14, 2007 - 18:17  | 698 reads

The Toddler

First published on January 11, 2007 - 01:21  | 742 reads

Gower

First published on January 9, 2007 - 11:08  | 692 reads

Patterns

First published on January 8, 2007 - 18:13  | 772 reads

A gentle novel in twelve paragraphs

First published on December 21, 2006 - 02:06  | 786 reads

Ghazal 13

First published on December 13, 2006 - 01:02  | 758 reads

Seen from above

First published on December 12, 2006 - 13:39  | 715 reads

Black Diamond Heavies

First published on November 21, 2006 - 15:44  | 706 reads

The Little Venice, Lebanese restaurant

First published on November 1, 2006 - 21:35  | 847 reads

Alchemy

First published on October 24, 2006 - 11:27  | 932 reads

Tiny burgers at the Penguin bash

First published on October 18, 2006 - 11:10  | 1007 reads

Nine One One

First published on September 19, 2006 - 12:22  | 836 reads

Hey man in rabbit suit

First published on July 31, 2006 - 16:04  | 1008 reads

We're mostly scared and lonely

First published on July 31, 2006 - 11:40  | 831 reads

Eating Out

First published on July 10, 2006 - 16:30  | 943 reads

Please work hard and be remarkably happy

First published on July 10, 2006 - 12:30  | 904 reads

Violence, sex, pornography

First published on July 10, 2006 - 10:54  | 925 reads

The Child-Catcher

First published on July 6, 2006 - 11:23  | 987 reads

Choconana sandwiches at Southwold

First published on June 26, 2006 - 10:11  | 944 reads

Advice for balloons #3

First published on June 22, 2006 - 17:17  | 1204 reads

Advice for balloons #2

First published on June 22, 2006 - 17:15  | 943 reads

New Things

First published on June 12, 2006 - 12:10  | 820 reads

Advice for balloons

First published on June 12, 2006 - 12:04  | 993 reads

Sorry I make you lush

First published on June 5, 2006 - 14:55  | 1904 reads

What can we expect of our partners?

First published on June 4, 2006 - 15:09  | 910 reads

Blowtorch and ramekins

First published on May 31, 2006 - 17:17  | 984 reads

Quite Intelligent Pigs (mark 2)

First published on May 24, 2006 - 12:19  | 787 reads

Some thumb

First published on May 23, 2006 - 13:47  | 846 reads

Taking a photo of workmen in Chapelfield gardens

First published on May 12, 2006 - 09:41  | 907 reads

Things we looked at with the satellite spy cam

First published on May 11, 2006 - 09:37  | 1284 reads

Lummy good, tum-tum and garbles

First published on May 9, 2006 - 14:43  | 925 reads

His parents always knew he would become a chef

First published on May 8, 2006 - 15:45  | 832 reads

Niall's perspective

First published on May 4, 2006 - 10:45  | 860 reads

Grid-love

First published on May 3, 2006 - 16:19  | 834 reads

The Hot Water Ran Out When We Were Having A Sexy Shower

First published on May 2, 2006 - 13:09  | 1812 reads

Oh lucky man

First published on May 2, 2006 - 12:41  | 861 reads

Two Poems

First published on April 27, 2006 - 21:16  | 1007 reads

The Ditto Machines

First published on April 27, 2006 - 11:06  | 2000 reads

Pi

First published on April 25, 2006 - 12:00  | 897 reads

The world is getting darker

First published on April 24, 2006 - 13:17  | 774 reads

If my house backed on to a sportspark

First published on April 11, 2006 - 11:17  | 900 reads

Two hundred and six bones

First published on April 5, 2006 - 11:46  | 1074 reads

Secret Machines

First published on April 5, 2006 - 10:28  | 883 reads

Abecedary for London

First published on April 5, 2006 - 10:15  | 2876 reads

The strangeness gland

First published on April 4, 2006 - 10:30  | 1003 reads

The Day-Star

First published on April 3, 2006 - 09:58  | 1012 reads

Snag

First published on March 21, 2006 - 15:07  | 930 reads

The Clodhoppers

First published on March 20, 2006 - 10:55  | 1258 reads

Anemones are coy

First published on March 15, 2006 - 12:17  | 984 reads

Aurora Borealis, explained

First published on March 11, 2006 - 16:58  | 1087 reads

Jellyfish gurgle through the watercooler

First published on March 9, 2006 - 11:37  | 1138 reads

My brain would empty the discos

First published on March 2, 2006 - 13:52  | 988 reads

Neg

First published on February 16, 2006 - 10:04  | 995 reads

If the death of James Wilks had been turned into a short film

First published on February 14, 2006 - 11:24  | 989 reads

Revelations

First published on February 13, 2006 - 18:12  | 1041 reads

One hundred ghosts in the loft extension

First published on February 13, 2006 - 12:32  | 1056 reads

Hilda makes money

First published on February 8, 2006 - 10:19  | 996 reads

It was clear

First published on February 8, 2006 - 10:07  | 1007 reads

Worldly

First published on January 31, 2006 - 10:53  | 986 reads

The Glass Collector

First published on January 31, 2006 - 10:50  | 1024 reads

Conk

First published on January 31, 2006 - 10:48  | 1007 reads

Today is your birthday

First published on January 28, 2006 - 13:54  | 1136 reads

Upstairs, downstairs

First published on January 28, 2006 - 13:45  | 1082 reads

I made a grown woman cry tonight

First published on January 26, 2006 - 15:57  | 1174 reads

Star-struck

First published on January 26, 2006 - 12:51  | 1013 reads

Avalanche

First published on January 26, 2006 - 12:41  | 1057 reads

I've seen your dreams

First published on January 25, 2006 - 13:39  | 980 reads

Road

First published on January 24, 2006 - 17:34  | 916 reads

Kolkata

First published on January 19, 2006 - 20:39  | 1036 reads

Very well travelled

First published on January 13, 2006 - 10:42  | 1037 reads

Coma

First published on January 10, 2006 - 23:01  | 1036 reads

Hello symbolism!

First published on December 23, 2005 - 15:09  | 1136 reads

December in Puri

First published on December 23, 2005 - 15:04  | 990 reads

Song for the sleeping classes

First published on December 8, 2005 - 11:16  | 1003 reads

Chewed Up

First published on December 7, 2005 - 11:22  | 1047 reads

Hickling Broad

First published on December 6, 2005 - 19:59  | 1040 reads

Nut

First published on December 6, 2005 - 16:26  | 1077 reads

Anyone ever told you that your leg folded on the story mat looks like a vagina?

First published on December 6, 2005 - 16:13  | 1143 reads

All my uncles

First published on December 6, 2005 - 15:51  | 1070 reads

Portrait of an art historian

First published on December 5, 2005 - 19:16  | 968 reads

Sh-blam-oh

First published on December 5, 2005 - 11:57  | 968 reads

I cannot remember your name

First published on November 29, 2005 - 13:20  | 1062 reads

11.36am, Sunday

First published on November 29, 2005 - 13:13  | 1065 reads

Tenderising

First published on November 28, 2005 - 12:47  | 1137 reads

Illusions (a cinquain)

First published on November 23, 2005 - 17:06  | 1026 reads

You are wearing a T-shirt that says "Happy to help"

First published on November 22, 2005 - 16:09  | 1028 reads

Skull Music

First published on November 21, 2005 - 12:23  | 1055 reads

Cheffing

First published on November 15, 2005 - 13:46  | 1089 reads

Western

First published on November 10, 2005 - 10:14  | 1036 reads

A Revelatory Ghazal

First published on November 7, 2005 - 13:47  | 1105 reads

I will never grow old

First published on October 29, 2005 - 09:30  | 1175 reads

Two Rubens' Paintings at the National Gallery

First published on October 27, 2005 - 18:07  | 1291 reads

What my friends are thinking

First published on October 27, 2005 - 18:04  | 1166 reads

The Pick Up

First published on October 23, 2005 - 16:04  | 1027 reads

Only parentheses

First published on October 7, 2005 - 16:26  | 1248 reads

While they cuddle under the duvet, their neighbours suffer from tinnitus

First published on October 4, 2005 - 16:43  | 1127 reads

Careful, love, I'm thinking of Morrissey

First published on September 29, 2005 - 12:00  | 1345 reads

What you're doing to your body

First published on September 21, 2005 - 17:53  | 1121 reads

Raver

First published on September 21, 2005 - 17:50  | 1267 reads

Guide to bravado for the first time smuggler

First published on September 1, 2005 - 18:19  | 1252 reads

Calling out

First published on August 30, 2005 - 19:29  | 1242 reads

Echo

First published on August 30, 2005 - 19:28  | 1278 reads

A sure thing

First published on August 28, 2005 - 23:55  | 1243 reads

You discover something wonderful

First published on August 22, 2005 - 00:30  | 1175 reads

On our way to the fairground

First published on August 15, 2005 - 16:02  | 1302 reads

Three decent bombs, one excellent

First published on August 10, 2005 - 18:43  | 1195 reads

Heart. By. Off.

First published on August 10, 2005 - 18:34  | 1235 reads

Four Letters

First published on June 21, 2005 - 17:17  | 1061 reads

Some things to dream of...

First published on June 13, 2005 - 12:39  | 1000 reads

Quite Intelligent Pigs

First published on May 20, 2005 - 18:41  | 1064 reads

Make believe and the mega love

First published on May 9, 2005 - 15:10  | 1052 reads

Lending Holy Island

First published on April 11, 2005 - 12:18  | 1010 reads

Loved-up Villanelle

First published on April 7, 2005 - 17:31  | 975 reads

Convalesecence

First published on April 1, 2005 - 16:22  | 1056 reads

O

First published on April 1, 2005 - 12:36  | 1173 reads

Two Triolets

First published on April 1, 2005 - 12:33  | 975 reads

Trick

First published on January 28, 2005 - 18:31  | 950 reads

Minifesto

First published on December 18, 2004 - 20:37  | 973 reads

Consequences of falling

First published on November 23, 2004 - 18:51  | 907 reads

Moon bath

First published on November 18, 2004 - 13:26  | 1001 reads

We suspected our neighbours

First published on November 18, 2004 - 13:24  | 920 reads

Bee

First published on November 17, 2004 - 15:39  | 986 reads

Whisky

First published on September 29, 2004 - 02:14  | 1031 reads

Siren

First published on September 29, 2004 - 02:11  | 942 reads

November

First published on September 29, 2004 - 02:09  | 1003 reads

A short history of the microphone

First published on September 29, 2004 - 02:09  | 1550 reads

Epidemic

First published on September 29, 2004 - 01:52  | 998 reads

India

First published on September 29, 2004 - 01:41  | 1016 reads

Kilo, please

First published on September 29, 2004 - 01:41  | 1001 reads

I dance at nothing

First published on September 29, 2004 - 01:41  | 1211 reads

New Money

First published on September 29, 2004 - 01:39  | 898 reads

Charlie

First published on September 29, 2004 - 01:16  | 1028 reads

Cutting her fringe

First published on September 29, 2004 - 01:05  | 1195 reads

Playing through powercuts

First published on September 29, 2004 - 01:04  | 881 reads

Y: Wedding

First published on September 29, 2004 - 00:53  | 961 reads

J: Tide

First published on September 29, 2004 - 00:48  | 1010 reads

Festival

First published on September 28, 2004 - 22:32  | 1055 reads

Launderette

First published on September 28, 2004 - 22:25  | 971 reads

The Gladiator

First published on September 28, 2004 - 22:24  | 991 reads

Y: Satin

First published on September 28, 2004 - 22:21  | 998 reads

Q: Avoid

First published on September 28, 2004 - 22:21  | 971 reads

Gifts

First published on September 28, 2004 - 22:21  | 981 reads

Complicated

First published on September 28, 2004 - 22:15  | 1052 reads

Miracle

First published on September 28, 2004 - 22:14  | 1006 reads

Heirarchy of Nibbles

First published on September 28, 2004 - 21:56  | 942 reads

Alpha

First published on September 15, 2004 - 10:07  | 1026 reads

After the first night

First published on September 15, 2004 - 09:37  | 993 reads

Family

First published on September 15, 2004 - 09:25  | 1022 reads

All being well

First published on September 15, 2004 - 09:16  | 1078 reads

A: Think of Breakfast

First published on September 15, 2004 - 09:16  | 1105 reads

Twenty-eight lengths

First published on September 15, 2004 - 09:04  | 929 reads

Vogue

First published on September 15, 2004 - 09:04  | 1016 reads

Hacking

First published on September 15, 2004 - 08:24  | 943 reads

Counter cheese

First published on September 15, 2004 - 08:24  | 937 reads

Blue Peter

First published on September 15, 2004 - 07:58  | 1012 reads

Station

First published on September 15, 2004 - 07:27  | 962 reads

Triplets

First published on September 15, 2004 - 07:27  | 975 reads

Monologophobia

First published on September 15, 2004 - 07:27  | 1085 reads

E: Performing

First published on September 15, 2004 - 06:35  | 1071 reads

Tiger

First published on September 15, 2004 - 06:35  | 1029 reads

Bitten and painted

First published on September 15, 2004 - 06:31  | 1205 reads

In love; falling

First published on September 15, 2004 - 06:27  | 1070 reads

W: Rescue

First published on September 15, 2004 - 06:27  | 1079 reads

Q: Wicked Games

First published on September 15, 2004 - 04:08  | 1189 reads

Group Therapy

First published on September 15, 2004 - 03:31  | 1092 reads

Pillow Case

First published on September 15, 2004 - 03:12  | 1958 reads

Education

First published on September 15, 2004 - 02:57  | 1009 reads

Z: Math's Problem

First published on September 15, 2004 - 02:56  | 1069 reads

U: Spokes

First published on September 15, 2004 - 02:25  | 1091 reads

Olive

First published on September 15, 2004 - 02:20  | 1043 reads

A letter to my Grandfather

First published on September 15, 2004 - 02:11  | 1116 reads

La Restaurant

First published on September 15, 2004 - 01:04  | 1091 reads

A row of tankas

First published on September 13, 2004 - 17:19  | 1043 reads

Inner harmony of a bike shop owner

First published on September 13, 2004 - 16:52  | 1002 reads

V: Three poems

First published on September 13, 2004 - 16:52  | 985 reads

X: Stand in sun-bed

First published on September 13, 2004 - 16:21  | 947 reads

Limerick

First published on September 13, 2004 - 15:55  | 1011 reads

Z: Ma Chere (translated into French then back)

First published on September 13, 2004 - 15:51  | 1504 reads

Communication

First published on September 13, 2004 - 15:16  | 1149 reads

Wisdom Teeth

First published on September 13, 2004 - 14:58  | 1041 reads

K: Assembling

First published on September 13, 2004 - 14:51  | 960 reads

Partners in crime

First published on September 13, 2004 - 14:51  | 881 reads

Oh dysseus, won'cha come to see us&;#063;

First published on September 13, 2004 - 12:58  | 1100 reads

E: Tumour humour

First published on September 13, 2004 - 12:35  | 1186 reads

The death of the 'The Death of the Author' author

First published on September 13, 2004 - 12:29  | 1028 reads

U: Autobiography in 60 words

First published on September 13, 2004 - 12:03  | 1023 reads

Y: OO

First published on September 13, 2004 - 12:00  | 995 reads

Z: Wails

First published on September 13, 2004 - 11:56  | 925 reads

And its Swan-sea city, Swansea city F.C...

First published on September 13, 2004 - 10:56  | 4894 reads

Vineity

First published on September 13, 2004 - 10:38  | 973 reads

X: Walking with Homo Sapiens

First published on September 13, 2004 - 02:04  | 970 reads

Q: Seoul Searching

First published on September 13, 2004 - 01:45  | 981 reads

Why the revolution was lost...

First published on September 13, 2004 - 01:20  | 979 reads

Duvet cover

First published on September 12, 2004 - 14:25  | 1743 reads

The life and times of the pumpkin and the penguin

First published on September 12, 2004 - 14:23  | 923 reads