Question 12 - How did the way you grew up impact you…

Question 12 – Consider the stories and roles you were exposed to when you were growing up, do you think they have been helpful, or not?

Donna:

I’m not sure either way.

Alyss:

Not. As I mentioned a few questions ago, the romantic novel is quite a thing that the headspace attaches itself to, setting up things in the imagination that aren’t real. Men don’t go after the woman they really want, in fact, I have spoken to a few who didn’t because the fear of it all was so great in them. The fairytale prince is nothing like the actual men walking around in reality. Stories and lyrics of songs build up this grand notion of love and romance that I have yet to see in reality, and still the little girl in me continues to hold on to the imaginary princes and happy endings the stories fed us… I may still be single because the stories have been so much better than the reality of life ever has… When thinking of Jane Austen, who never married, perhaps it’s a writer’s way to live in the imagined space and not the reality…

CJ:

No, growing up with parents who treated me like their own personal psychologist and asking me about whether they should get divorced or not; and playing one up against the other for years from when I was around 10 years old, that was not helpful at all. It led to me being very closed off emotionally and enforced my inherent distrust of men in general.

I definitely learnt that I did not want to ever find myself in the position of being wholly financially or emotionally dependent on my partner.

Alexa:

Fairy tales about marrying the handsome prince and living happily ever after are so misleading and give young girls the completely wrong idea about life. 

KA:

Growing up, there was a somewhat traditional view of women in general – stay-at-home Mums, etc. But the women in my family have all been quite strong and independent, and my folks have always encouraged us, their three daughters (no sons!), to be strong, independent individuals.

NH:

These stories would have been idylls of happy marriages and happy families; all Disney and Hollywood rom-coms.  Exciting to contemplate as a youngster, but not helpful as an adult in the real world.  I think young girls today should be taught skills to be independent, and to hear stories from older single women who can be seen as positive role models. 

Lizanne:

Single older ladies were not seen in a good light as I grew up and now I am one of them. We were all taught that marriage and a “happily ever after” can be expected and most probable. It’s not, so I’ve had to re-educate my own extended family towards my situation.

C.B.:

I have changed churches at times when the preaching is focussed on the happy families of mom, dad and kids with no consequence to other situations people find themselves in.