Shannan's blog

Posted on this Holy Saturday, when Jesus was left alone on a crucifix - loneliness, separation from what was most dear to us - the greatest possible empathy with Jesus Christ, when we stand alone for something greater than anything anyone else can fathom. Be blessed with His Presence and Love this Easter. P.S. Twenty Seven closes the story – If there is anything you want to share, that none of the questions have touched on, or opened the door to...

Question Twenty Six – What has been the biggest challenge you have faced regarding the living out of this ‘single status’ part of your story? How have you overcome it? Donna The biggest challenge was being invited to a wedding etc with a plus one. Alyss I think the comparative trap has been the hardest part. If I look at my life and choices, I made the choices that landed me where I am, and others made different choices with their own challenges...

Question Twenty Five – What do you wish dating &/ married couples understood, or were more sensitive about with regards to interacting with their single status friends? Point to note on biological birth stats: for 2022, in South Africa: Females constituted 51,5% of the total population, while 48,5% were males, out of 62 million people. AND There are 33.61 million males, and 34.35 million females in the United Kingdom. AND about 168 million...

Question Twenty Four – How have you gone about forming a support group or ‘tribe’ of people to walk the ‘single’ chapter of your story with you? Donna I didn't do anything really, it just seemed to fall into place. Alyss Interestingly, a lot of my school friends are still single, so the group has ‘grown’ up together and stayed a group of single women, so I didn’t have to do anything there. In new environments, however, it seems to be the case...

Help. I realise this is unprofessional - ABCTALES, delete if you must - but I have been locked out of my Amazon Kindle Publishing Account for over 6 months, and I cannot get in or make contact with anyone at Amazon, all I receive is: "We have detected unusual activity on your account and have locked it temporarily. Please contact customer service for further assistance." "Temporarily" has been months and months and months. I have tried every...

Question Twenty-Three – If needed, what coping mechanisms have you put in place with regards to your work space? Donna Reliance on God’s strength Alyss Coping in general, not exclusively, or inclusively, connected to my significant other status: Prayers, lots of prayer; the Psalms are great when times are tough. Bible reading in the morning is the best form of defence, cue “Men in Black” ;) Stay out of the projects and areas where challenging...

Question Twenty Two – If you have worked in the corporate field, how has your ‘single status’ impacted, or effected, your work relationships, if at all? Alyss The money-making environments are spaces of their own. Being asked to go on dates and my politely declining has taken me out of opportunities at times, and created awkward energies (for me anyway). Staff spaces have revealed things about married men that have disgusted me. Environments...

Question Twenty One – Have you found peace in the space of your singleness, or not? How so? Donna Yes Alyss I am human, and thus inconsistent, so if it’s a bad day, no; but if it’s a good day, yes. Spiritually, when the day is tough, and I am comparing myself to societal expectations and others around me, ( or I find myself in that crazy space of social media where the psychological trauma of everyone else’s ‘great’ lives impacts me ) God speaks...

Question Twenty – In what ways does being single empower you? Donna The freedom I have, and not being micromanaged by other people, has taught me to be empowered. Alyss I can’t say that this unforeseen story of mine has felt ‘empowering’ whilst living it out. It has felt more like a day-to-day survival game at times. Still, now that I have survived so much, it means power must have been involved. If I look back on the last 2 decades, the person...

Question Nineteen – How does being single impact your time management? Donna I feel free. Alyss Being single has fluctuating effects on my time management. I battle to get to things because there are so many things that I must get to and do on my own, but at least I can plan and work through things without affecting anyone else, if I don’t get to anything in the time I should. So, if it’s cereal for dinner, then it’s cereal for dinner and that’s...