Shannan's blog

From Lizanne: The journey of single-parenting Single parenting entails stepping into a completely new life, embracing the unexpected, overcoming a million hurdles and maintaining one’s sanity, respect and love for God. Through the following words, I hope to give insight to those people who support single parents, and then to single parents themselves who are struggling to identify their emotions. For someone who hasn’t themselves been a single...

Question Ten – What comments &/ situations with others, in regards to your “single status” impact you the most positively? Donna Seeing married people and how busy their lives are, so I go with stay single because married life is hectic! Alyss People remembering me; like with an invitation to something I can attend. Over the last decade, I invited people, or organized to meet up,or organized to stay overnight at a friend’s place so I can...

Chapter Nine – Do you still hope to venture into a ‘significant other’ pair? Why / why not? Donna Yes, even for companionship in my old age. Alyss I would love a friend, a partner, someone who cares what happens to me, someone to be a shoulder to cry on and offer a smile of encouragement when things get tough… someone who knows if I am sick, or need help… but as time wears on, I am now not so sure I could merge my independent life with someone...

Question Eight – Traditionally, faith systems and social systems prefer women in a ‘paired off’ state. How have you navigated such thoughts and spaces? Donna I’m lucky that neither my family or my faith system has pressured me in any way. Alyss, I have learnt to keep quiet. I have sat in prayer circles where families with children are prayed for, as that’s what people believe in and that’s what the Bible calls for. The social system of holiday...

Donna No, none that I can think of. Alyss Hallmark Romance movies, Romance novels – from Jane Austen to Nora Roberts, Facebook where the highlight reels are friends and their children and loved ones. I used to happily go to restaurants on my own, but I can’t manage that anymore. Sadly, I was given a restaurant voucher as a gift, but I have no-one who visits me, or who I could use it with, and I don’t want to sit there on my own anymore… so that...

Donna I trust in God to give me the strength to carry on. Alyss, Oh, this is a tough one. There are more low days now than there have ever been. I do not recommend living far away from family and friends. My motivation has completely angled itself into Bible reading and studying. Loads of online sermons and Instagram sermon clips/motivational clips. I do feel like this lonely, low time has a purpose though, in a very strange, yet sensible way,...

Chapter Five – If you don’t have children, do you feel like it has impacted you emotionally &/ psychologically? If so, how? These are the stories of some respondents to a questionnaire around being single over the age of 40 as a woman. Donna, Not sure how to answer this one. I've been a preschool teacher most of my life, and hear all about the struggles with children, especially the financial implications. So, in my circumstances, I don't...

Chapter Four – If you don’t have children, how has your single status affected you socially? Respondent 1: Donna, Except for the mentioned “episode”, I have not really been affected as I have single friends. (Response to Q3 was: Yes, I had a hysterectomy at 36, and got a bit emotional at a church camp when I saw all the kids with their families.) Respondent 2: Alyss, I find myself in the social circles of friends and their children’s birthday...

Chapter Three – Have you ever had your heart broken? If so, how did you push through the brokenness, or are you still not in the ‘all clear’? These are the story-answers of some non-fictional respondents... Respondent 1: Donna, 44, Christian, who has 100% support from her family and has been single most of her life. Yes, I had a hysterectomy at 36, and got a bit emotional at a church camp when I saw all the kids with their families. Respondent 2...

Chapter Two – This question was: As you have reached, and are living out, your ‘over 40’ solo status in life, how has your perspective on singleness changed from what it was 2 decades ago? These are the stories of some respondents to a questionnaire around being single over the age of 40 as a woman. Respondent 1: Donna, 44, Christian, who has 100% support from her family and has been single most of her life. While I wanted to be married and have...