Autobiography in 300 words.
I have the memory of a goldfish but certain indicents in my life have always stuck. For both these reasons I'm going to try to document these incidents in no more than 300 words.
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Nic Nac Paddy Whack
‘IRA, IRA. Fuck the Queen and the UDA...’
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Teaching the teachers.
Exam board courses bore the shit out of me so I always find myself people-watching.
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Slabberin
‘Wat tha fuk ar youy slabberin abouyt?’ Pink drink drips from his wide wet lips. He’s about a foot wider than me and a fair few brain cells shorter. I’ve never been in a fight before. It’s quite exciting but I hope nobody’s watching because I’m not sure my couch Kung-Fu is going to be strong enough.
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Living with Post-Natal Exhaustion
I retrieve the baby wipes from the fridge and the pleasantly chilled bag of spuds from the chest freezer. We’re too tired to work out who is to blame any more.
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Our Neil
Not sure if this works better as poetry or prose.
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Grow up or give up.
We all make mistakes. I'm not sure of this is one of them.
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