Calls from the centre

By Brooklands

By Brooklands on Wed, 15 Sep 2004

I do barbecues, I do. I carve lamb brisket standing up. I shoulder the responsibility of all-night drives. And handkerchiefs - I own three.

By Brooklands on Wed, 29 Sep 2004

"Excuse me officer but what do you think about this?" I thumb-pop the button on my trousers as though tossing a coin. I pull down my trousers and...