Random funny quotes

By AceV

A bunch of random funny quotes I hear people say a lot.
  • 356 reads

Friends and noses.

By AceV on Thu, 23 Jan 2014

You can pick your friends. And you can pick your nose. But you can't pick your friend's nose. :)
Humour
Other
Certificate PG

Assholes

By AceV on Fri, 24 Jan 2014

Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self esteem, check first you aren't surrounded by assholes :)
Humour
Other
Certificate 15

Roses Are Red

By AceV on Mon, 27 Jan 2014

Roes are red. Violets are blue. My love for you is like a poo. I've flushed it down the toilet. It's not me, it's you. You're a complete bitch. Happy...
Humour
Other
Certificate 12

Russian Roulette

By AceV on Thu, 30 Jan 2014

I don't like russian roulette. It gives me a headache.
Humour
Other
Certificate PG

Warped Personality.

By AceV on Thu, 06 Feb 2014

Child: I have a warped personality. Maybe it's because you're an alcoholic. Mum: No. I'm an alcoholic, because you have a warped personality.
Humour
Other
Certificate PG

Depressing Book

By AceV on Thu, 13 Feb 2014

Friend 1: This book is depressing me. Friend 2: Why? What are you reading? Friend 1: A book about depression.
Humour
Other
Certificate PG

Well

By AceV on Thu, 20 Feb 2014

Friend 1: Well? Friend 2: Hole in the ground you get water from. Friend 1: Huh? Friend 2: You said well. But you said it like you were asking a...
Humour
Other
Certificate PG