Cudo Cudo's "I am surprised we can take what we want from the world"

I also enjoyed it. I enjoy the idea of the style and content and think they work very well. This section I felt was clunky 'I am surprised we allow ourselves to take all the things out of the earth and use them up and fight over them.' Don't know why but making it 'I am surprised we take things out of the earth, use them up and fight' (or summit like it) makes a world of difference for me. I also do not get the significance of the eels in tanks. Am I being stupid? Loved the coconuts and sand and flip flops. Good image choice. Cheers Cudo. Span

the eels i think are ref. to Gordon Ramsay's the F word last week when they did exactly what the poem says. I found the sentiment in this spot on - it amazes me how we all seem to be accepting that global warming is inevitable, and the Amazon is dying and yet we need the latest whatever it is. And wars still continue on and on and on. Juliet

Brilliant and thought provoking! I must confessd, Span, I do not agree.The line: " we allow ourselves to take all the things out of the earth and use them up and fight over " is slightly different in meaning to your version. 'I am surprised we take things out of the earth" To allow ourselves to do something stresses the intentional effort. I feel that it was just right here. Hi, guys, out there, what do you think? Any other opinions? And Cudo, I am a fan of yours, sure you know.

I meant that or something like it. Less wordy. I enjoy the colloquial style but as I said that section feels clunky to me. If there are too many or too few words in a section of a poem I tend to switch off. Does not work for me in that bit. Comes down to personal choice I spose. As I said though, grand poem. Span

very very good. I read it with enjoyment, recognition and sadness. (Enjoy? Can you enjoy such subject matter?) It is all so sadly true. Very close to the bone, but then it has to be, and made all the more powerful by the deliberately understated tone. The bit about fly-blown babies in particular. It enrages me, the carnage and genocide that the West has visited on Africa and still continues to do. One day, if the world survives that long, a true history will be written and people will understand the real monstrous evil that has been done, that this poem points the way to. Well done for writing it.

Many thanks for the comments. I am glad the poem has affected a few people. I am always surprised when people take the time to comment on the poems. It makes me wonder. As for the subject matter of the poem. It is a bizarre thing. I am actually very surprised by these things and yet like most other people I sit around and do nothing. Strange. Thanks again Cudo

Haa, but you did do something; you wrote a great poem.... Chris