Domestic rituals such as afternoon tea.

Domestic rituals? Crikey. Our domestic ritual involves rushing around during the morning, in utter chaos, trying to get together all the bits and bobs for the kids before sending them off to school. I go to work to relax (well, it *is* the Council...). Seriously, though, I like the idea of afternoon teas at the weekend. Especially with jam sponge cake. Yum! During the summer months we like to go visit any one of the many castle ruins in the area; it's not really a 'ritual', per se, but I guess it's a regular enough occurrence to count for something...we pack a picnic, do a bit of exploring, stop at a pub on the way home for a 'snack', (usually involving beer). It's nice.

Morning ritual 0630: 3 year old daughter legs into family bedroom, jumps on bed, accidentally breaking both mother and father's noses, then bounces on mattress singing "Three Little Monkeys Jumping on the Bed." Followed by "Mummy, poo poo coming." Play time Afternoon ritual: drive car aimlessly for 1 hour (whilst listening to Farmyard songs tape) attempting to get 3 year old daughter to take an afternoon nap before dinner Play time Dinner ritual: beanz and sausage by the tele for little 'n'. Mother and father may splash out by microwaving a tesco cumberland pie. play time bath time play time bed time play time play time Evening ritual: mother and father collapse. dead of the night ritual: we just call that "mummy wee wee time to get up now??"

I make it my obligation to treat anyone who happens upon my abode in the afternoon to scones and tea, and yes, cucumber sandwiches. It is fun. And people get very excited about it. I've had some successful dates that way, I assure you. My grandmother says they used to have afternoon tea - bread and a sloppy jam and weak tea, as that was all they could afford. I suppose some of the higher orders did it with stronger tea and thicker jam and shinier crockery. Same thing. Rituals like that maketh humanity. Or maybe I am pushing that a little far.

I like a nice cup of tea of an afternoon. Do you make your own scones joe?

Gosh, rereading that it seemed like outrageous flirting, but it wasn't. Joe just struck me as someone who might make his own scones.

Well, fergal - who I have been kindly informed is actually female and whose writing I have taken a shine to on the recommendation of the magazine - I do make my own scones as it happens. With wholemeal flower and real peel and everything. Howz about that?

If you wanna know what having children is like, think chinese water torture or alternatively (and this is as close as it gets) make a recording of someone saying something, loop it and then repeat for an hour. had a blast this afternoon. My daughter decided to put on a show for me in the back garden. She danced and sang and when you're a parent you get to keep magical ladders in your pocket, put blackberries in your tea, and talk to the 'blue lady' who lives in the airing cupboard ;) ...full moon in pisces - sun in virgo thursday There's nothing worse than a neighbour with crap wind chimes (except Juliet).

Are you offering me wholemeal scones joe? Because if you are I'd need homemade raspberry jam to go with them. Cheers.

Maybe I am. Maybe I'm not. *rummages in pantry for jars to sterilise*

On second thoughts, the word 'sterilise' should probably not be used in any minor flitrting techniques.

May I ask what 'flitrting' is please?

Darn. Very unsmooth.

Domestic rituals here in the states, I would have to say revolve around the televison. As people, supposedly, discussed literature and the arts, they now discuss the lastest sitcom. They speak of actors as if they were intimiate family members. Alas, here in the states there isn't anything comparable to tea.