How Will You Be?

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How Will You Be?

In conversation with a friend, we were talking about what we dont want to be, when we are old...
It's an old cliche, but I don't want to be moaning that I never DID anything with my life.
I got this vision of a old woman, who speaks a bizarre mixture of Spanish/Dutch/English/Czech, and eats Bramborak, Kajmak, Fried Bacon Butties and Tortilla Boccadilloes. all washed down with tea with milk, and a Slivovice Sangria mixture for chasers....She has a load of grandchildren and great grandchildren who are all scared to death of her, apart from the one, who, regrettably takes after her as the black sheep of the family and visits her with glee, whilst all the others are shrieking "Don't make me kiss that scary old woman mummy, she's got tattoos and she's always drunk"....
But I wont care, 'cos I'll probably be mildly stoned anyway. Not to mention causing all the lovely young carers in the residential home to have nervous breakdowns as I demand to have my rights and services that I am entitled to under section 7 subsection 2.ii in the Residential Services Act....

I certainly doubt that I'll be watching the equivalent of Eastenders whilst knitting a cardi for the cold snap ahead....

Anyone else?

meremortal
Anonymous's picture
Ah and of course i will be as randy as ever and rich as sin so i will still as i am now be surrounded yb beautiful women.
meremortal
Anonymous's picture
Ah and of course i will be as randy as ever and rich as sin so i will still as i am now be surrounded by beautiful women.
Andrea
Anonymous's picture
Gawd! (I am, as you can see, temporarily lost for words)
funky_seagull
Anonymous's picture
I need to stop taking so much god damn prozac...
fish
Anonymous's picture
interesting one liana ... it's something i have done with my mates too ... the key to it is i think to imagine what you want to be and see what you aren't now and then take steps to get there ... that is the POINT i reckon ... just recently i seem to have lost the plot ... sometimes i think that i know what life is about ... and my imagined older self seems to know ... (any suggestions on what the point of it all is will be gratefully received) i suppose however we all might haphazardly end up as something totally other than we expect or desire ... i've thought about this in the past and when i imagine myself in 30 yrs time (if i'm still alive) ... i always seem to be considerable shorter and calmer than i am at the moment ... there's a house with a big table which people want to sit around and eat and talk (ironic really as my table at the moment is so covered with crap and computer parts and letters i haven't dealt with yet that nobody actually uses it) ... those people i imagine will be my kids and their partners and their kids and my friends and their kids and so on and so on ... i wonder how this complete change to marvellous calm earth mother from lazy gin swilling fag smoking slob will be effected ... maybe i should start today by sending off my speeding fine letter and baking a cake ... hmmmm ... *lights another fag*
Mark Yelland-Brown
Anonymous's picture
I think what you believe about what happens to you when you die is a major influence on how you see the end of your life. If you believe like most people that death is it, you are not really going to think about still investing in a future at an age when you imagine yourself `retiring` from `obligations` and social `niceties`. It's as if the nearer you get to annhilation the more pointless it seems to be keeping up appearances. This is NOT a lean towards turning this thread into a religious thread, it is an observation about different outlooks, (starts sweating!) Naturally I am talking about one view of `How Will You Be` the lets be stroppy and eccentric view.
mississippi
Anonymous's picture
I AM old, well comparatively, and I DON'T like what I am. Overweight, partially deaf, dodgy eyesight, argumentative, arthritic, hard-up, no lover...... shall I go on? On the plus side I have lots of caring friends! Oh yes, and I still have lots of hair, mostly on my head and it hasn't gone grey yet. (I'd sooner have the lover!) Than the hair I mean, the friends are too good and rare to part with.
Martin T
Anonymous's picture
I've still got all my own hair and teeth, not that amazing as I'm only 36. The hair is very grey though, and I like it that way as I won't have to worry about going grey when I do enter my dotage. What do I want to be like ? I want to be an eccentric old man, with a jaunty well sculpted goatee, a penchant for elaborate walking sticks which I will use to point out things to people who aren't interested. I want to shock people with my views and my belief system....remaining as socialist as is possible while enjoying the fruits of a healthy pension and the income from all the houses I will buy in my future. I don't want to smell old, I want to be like Cary Grant, keeping what looks I have until the end. Remaining vigorous and alert and going to lots of funerals as I outlive all my friends.
Fecky
Anonymous's picture
I find it hard to think of anything I'd like to be.... ....I'm already a cranky old bastard who just hangs around all day moaning... ...Only aspiration left is to carry on doing exactly the same thing for longer than a natural life span (and I don't even draw a pension yet).
Liana
Anonymous's picture
Ha Ha.....some interesting responses so far....however, don't forget its not "What do you WANT to be like"..but, "how WILL you be" that is the subject header :o) Obviously, how I want to be, and the actuality of what I probably WILL be are vastly different......
Martyn
Anonymous's picture
Hello Liana Interesting subject, when a while ago i was ill with renal cell cancer, i thought on this subject and all i'd miss if things went badly. I decided if i got through ok (fingers crossed i have) that i would be as i am now albeit older and wiser but with much the same attitudes to life and people that i now have. I see no reason to change simply because of age - too many people live to the number of their age not to their own feelings inside. I will not go quietly into the night - they'll have to drag me screaming - i've too much to do and a lot of time yet in which to do it - anyone fancy a trip up Everest? martyn. (age irrelevant)
fish
Anonymous's picture
ok then ... fair point liana ... what i WILL be like is a lazy OLD gin sodden fag smoking baggage ... my house will still be untidy ... my friends will still come round and make their own cups of tea ... and like as not i will still be piffling round on the internet and hoping to be a proper writer one day ...
Liana
Anonymous's picture
ha...I'll be round then Fish.
Martin T
Anonymous's picture
I'll probably turn into my Dad, I'm already looking more and more like him. I'll sit in the bookies or in the pub and swear at everyone.......doesn't sound too bad now I think about it.....
Martin T
Anonymous's picture
Fish...is your house near a bookies and a pub ? and are there lots of people I can swear at for absolutely no reason ?..............
fish
Anonymous's picture
my house is near everything ...
Andrea
Anonymous's picture
I'm gonna be like one of my characters in one of my stories...a slightly batty old lady attired in swirling batik skirts and Isadora Duncan scarves, surrounded by Indian cloths, lamps and cushions, growing herbs, reeking of incense and arnica, listening (still) to Dylan, Van the Man and Mozart (amongst others), alone in a remote cottage, growing me own veggies...and still indulging in the odd (very odd) puff... Gawd, I'm almost there already...
Wolfgirl
Anonymous's picture
I do not want to be over-nostalgic, intolerant of youth and filled with regrets. I'd rather be a filthy old lady who pinches young men's bottoms, champions controversial causes and farts deliriously at bus stops.
Liana
Anonymous's picture
...sounds like me now, Wolfie....
kimwest
Anonymous's picture
I'm A. Mazed at how blooming disagreeable you all wnat to be and you also seem to want to be totally batty too and it's like the poem "When I grow old I want to wear purple"(or something) WHY? you'll look stupid enough without that... What about wanting to be really calm and more knowledgeable and being able to do things you want to do because you have the time? That's what I want..I can wear purple or dress like a witch and spit and fart now if I wanted to...I could yell out of the letterbox of my house "Bugger off you evil minded kids or I'll cook you in my oven"....I just actually don't want to......I think it's excellent to be able to be totally childish at any age at all and that will probably prevent anyone from going bonkers......... ......er that does seem a bit like a lecture..please forgive..when i get old I'll not go on so.........
Andrea
Anonymous's picture
Am not over-nostalgic, very tolerant of youth, no regrets,, champion most causes, pinch bottoms (even young men's) at every opportunity and fart ecstatically at every stop... Do I gain entry to paradise...?
Martin T
Anonymous's picture
............i'd better catch the train....
fish
Anonymous's picture
i think i will continue to be intolerant of most people ...
Ralph Dartford
Anonymous's picture
Fish Even me sweetpants? Ralph
Eddie
Anonymous's picture
I'm old enough to know what I want but now I'm too old to get it. (poem to follow)
fish
Anonymous's picture
SPECIALLY you ralph ... but of course NOT eddie ...
Karl Wiggins
Anonymous's picture
Okay Liana, I'll be overweight and have long grey hair and a beard. I'll wear shorts in the winter (as I do now) and will sit at the bar laughing at all the younger guys in their suits. A stack of grandkids, or adopted grandkids, and I'll have more time for everyone than I do now. Perhaps I could learn something from my future self. Maybe I should put myself in trance and visit my future self. For a Certified Hypnotherapist I've never really been much good at self-hypnosis, though. I'll be cool ..... ..... and eccentric
fish
Anonymous's picture
is that future you on the front page karl?
come on die young
Anonymous's picture
after i write several books (dream on), i'll convert to Catholicism and jump off a boat, all before 36.
lisa_gibson
Anonymous's picture
Someone told me today that I will be a good grandma someday. I'm only 34! Yikes! I will be soft spoken but wild inside. Daring and fun. I won't have regrets because I don't believe in allowing that to happen now. Everyone who sees me will think 'what a nice ol' lady' when really they should be saying 'what a crazy ol' gal.'
Mark Yelland-Brown
Anonymous's picture
When I get older, I'm 37 years old, my hair will grow back I will lose my belly, and not be tormented by flatulence. That will be a loving thing for my wife. As I grow older I will decide that, after all, `chillis with everything` isn't always the best dictum and `Eat now for tommorow you may starve` will just not cut it for a ripe old age. Lastly I hope when I'm really old I'll be like that old guy who used to haunt Leicester Square with a plackard predicting the end of the world, everyone seemed to ignore him but he was `really there`. My plackard will say `Told Ya!`
lindy
Anonymous's picture
When I get older I do not want to have not seen anything of the world. (Aggh too many negatives). Which is why I am travelling around at the moment. I have just been to Istanbul and it is one of the most fantastic places I have seen. I am in Transylvania and it is also pretty amazing. Sorry, I just had to gloat a bit.
Ofar Quarson
Anonymous's picture
My Dear Sirs/Madams, How will I be? I will be frozen.I am in the process of converting an old chest freezer in my garden shed into a cryogenic freezing chamber to preserve myself for future generations.Being of pure mind and body will obviously be a rare thing to find in the future so I intend to freeze myself for the good of mankind to be thawed out in the year 3000 with the intention of repopulating the world with a high quality example of a human being such as myself. Any one who wishes to attend the ceremonious 'freezing of perfection' party please contact me at this email address.With souvenir ice pops and Ofar ice cube moulds this is an event not to be missed.
Wolfgirl
Anonymous's picture
I'm sorry but cryogenics make me giggle. I can't help thinking of all those defrosted heads having lively debates at parties, stuck on coffee tables. It would just be my luck that I couldn't afford the whole freeze.....can I have a finger to scratch my nose though? I can't think of anything worse........
Karl Wiggins
Anonymous's picture
Fish, That is me! ABCtales, you owe me £50 for using that shot. Mark, I remember that silly old bastard too. What was his bag, man? "The end of the world is nigh!" It wasn't nigh at all, was it? It'll take more than some silly old sod with a sandwich board to finish off this old world. Plenty have tried before him. Seriously though, my dread is that I'm going to croak it one day and find a bunch of Hari Krishna dancing around in orange robes and tinkling little bells saying, "Told you so!"
meremortal
Anonymous's picture
I think i will probably be an older version of me now. Only i'll probably have liver problems from drinking too much. I'm guessing i will also tell really bad jokes just like i do now and be really bitter and twisted (just like now). As well as being extremely paranoid and eccentric. The great thing about getting old is that you can become stranger and stranger and people think nothing of it!
Mark Yelland-Brown
Anonymous's picture
They do probably but they either a) feel sorry for you and haven't the heart to tell you.Or b) because you're old don't even notice you, that's why old people need to become eccentric to get any kind of attention, especially in Britain. We are a very anti-aged society. There is a marble rolling across the living room carpet, is it mine?
funky_seagull
Anonymous's picture
Well I want to be fit and healthy and still full of life when I'am old. I want to be totally crazy and full of energy. I am hoping that if I keep practising Tai chi then I will have strong legs and I will be able to walk long distances and go on long cycle rides. As well as defend myself against muggers. I also hope that I will know lots of different skills like how to make fire and carve wood. And will be able to pass them on to my grandchildren.. I also hope that we still have raves and that us old folk will still get together and have our parties and maybe the young folk will join us as well.. though they will probably be into something different by then... and we will seem to them like the old people do to us now when their doing their ballroom dancing.... I definately want to be full of life though.. and writing... and a wise old sage like those Chinese Taoist saints and those wise old Zen masters. Maybe I will walk from town to town and teach people how to make fire rubbing two sticks together and pass on my Tai chi skills... Write poems on the sides of mountains and have many friends all over the place, and walk evreywhere. Camping out under the stars and being free really.. I hope that when I am old I am still free.
Andrea
Anonymous's picture
Blimey! ABC, you've got a lot to answer for... (only jesting, Funky)
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