"Pullin' Sickies"

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Thu, 2001-10-11 22:52

"Pullin' Sickies"

I have been known in the past to pull the odd sickie here and there (it needs to be done now and then)

I am interested to know what some of the worst excuses you have have used when calling in sick at work or when you just couldn't face going in....
(I promise never to use them for future days off)

One of my most appalling excuses was this:
While working at a day centre in Birmingham, I was always late. I didn't drive in those days and had to rely on the unpredictable number 11 to transfer me to work. (Needless to say, it was constantly late, no matter how early I got to the bus stop)
After repeated lateness, my boss had me in her office, and told me that from now on she would be monitoring my arrival times, as this was unacceptable behaviour for someone responsible for a group of people in my care.
The very next day, there I am waiting for the number 11. I was already 25 mins late and it was not my fault! The only option was to phone in with a good reason for not turning up to work...
As I had been in fine health the previous day, I could not call in sick. There had to be another way....still seething from the lateness of the number 11 I found my excuse...
I phoned in and told the manager that I had been traveling to work and the bus had been pulled over by police. Apparently, someone had called in a bomb threat and all buses on that route had to be detained for "bomb searching"
I swear to God this is the truth!! unfortunately, I still had to go to work, but I was allowed to go in after lunch....I can't believe it worked though!!
Another lame excuse I used(at the same place) was that while in the night, I had been sleep walking or something, and had fallen down the stairs seriously damaging my back. I told them that I had woken in the morning lying at the bottom of the stairs...(I had forgotten that we had an on sight pyhsiotherapist however) and when returning back to work, I was prodded and manipulated pretending to say" oooh that hurts" in all the right(I hope) places.

Please don't let me the only one with naff "sickie" excuses.
tell me yours!!!!

(God, I hope that my old boss doesn't read this!)
Half the time the phone call in its self is not worth the hassle of one measley day off from work!

Thu, 2001-10-11 23:00

Primate

I've ended up bringing home a few mentally disturbed women in my time - does that count as 'pullin' sickies'? :)

Thu, 2001-10-11 23:04

Linsi

Erm...I guess so primate.

Thu, 2001-10-11 23:26

Primate

Sorry Linsi - couldn't resist it! I've been wracking my brains and I dont think I've ever used a good creative excuse for a sickie - which is quite disappointing really. I've told a few corkers to customers and to people on the checkout at Tesco's, but never to a boss. I'll have to change that tomorrow - I fancy a day off :)

Thu, 2001-10-11 23:45

Linsi

Primate, since I am still recovering from "post night duty" syndrome I am still wide awake, so tell me what you have said to these unfortunate customers...

Fri, 2001-10-12 00:05

Primate

Weell.... There was one bloke who was really rude to the bar-staff so I went over to his table and told him that there was a bye-law that banned the use of chairs in a 'designated drinking area' after 1am, then I took his chair (and his girlfriend's) away and left them standing around their table til closing time. That was fun. I told another bloke that we didn't have any ice (our ice machine is broken) because there was a hosepipe ban... My favourite tho was to a checkout bloke at Tesco's. I have to buy ice there all the time and I get sick of answering all the same questions every time, so I sometimes lie just to amuse myself. This one time, I told the man that I needed ice because I was a taxidermist and my freezer was broken! I said that I had 12 cats to do by Sunday and that I needed the ice to keep them from going off :) After that we had quite an interesting discussion about the best places to buy new freezers... The best thing is that this was about six months ago, and last Saturday I got the same bloke again, and he told me all about this taxidermist who'd also bought a lot of ice a few months ago! Bless. Hook line and sinker :) He'd probably been dining out on that for months. He said my face was familiar but I managed to keep a straight face and said "No mate - not me. I just run a nightclub..."

Fri, 2001-10-12 00:28

Linsi

Nice one !!!! heheheheheh... (mentally records for future use) I wear a uniform to work (a pale blue tunic number) and had decided to park on double yellow lines outside my nearest off-licence. My friend got to the car first, and seeing the cop car dashed back into the shop. When she told me who was waiting outside, I worried about the fine that would surely be bestowed on me. We ventured out to the condemned vehicle, and a copper was indeed taking down my number plate. However, when he saw me in my uniform, he immediatley put his "little book" away and drove off. How cool is that? I advice anyone (male or female) to purchase a pale blue tunic!!! works a treat!

Fri, 2001-10-12 10:41

Martin T

I used to work for a local authority in London, the women on one of the teams had a male manager who was really incredibly squeamish about "women's stuff" If ever one of the women wanted to take a sickie, she rang up amd mentioned "women's problems" that was enough, they could almost see his embarassment over the phone, he would just splutter...."ok then" and ring off. Sometimes these women could take days off in separate weeks throughout a month.....bless This same manager was also the subject of a grevience from another female member of his staff who objected to his wearing of shirts which were too tight and and his nipples were "poking through" he was a large type of chap with large manbreasts..... He was asked to wear larger shirts. me....an attack of piles usually does the trick....you can almost see my manager wince before he puts down the phone.

Fri, 2001-10-12 13:01

M bates

OH I thought you said pulling a stickie...oooops

Fri, 2001-10-12 14:49

#10

Linsi

I warn you all now. Don't try the old "I have a 24 hour" bug thing. I tried that one, and got a severe bolloking from a shift nurse, who informed me that there was no such thing. She then spouted out useless information about how a virus spreads through out the body..... There is no way anyone can have a 24 hour bug, and feel better the next day (she obviously didn't have the Readers Digest book of medical signs and symptoms. I am positive that 24 hour bug is there somewhere!

Mon, 2001-10-15 13:48

#11

tony cook

There's always the one where you go to see your Granny who's at death's door - very, very sick and she lives somewhere miles away - may be my last chance to see her - my mum's just called to tell me - got to go now - can't leave it another day. Then Granny phones you at work and the boss answers the phone. It happened to an employee of mine some years ago. He was crap so I used it to get rid - if he'd been any good he'd have had to buy me large drinks and wouldn't have got away with anything ever again.

Fri, 2001-10-12 19:27

#12

Andrea

That reminds me of a time, in my (almost long-forgotton) youth. I was working for a credit company in London, but the spring weather was beautiful and I didn't feel like going to work. I was only 15 or so at the time. Well, anyway, I decided, for my sins, to visit the local swimming pool. Lo! There was a photographer from the Evening Standard (no less!) capturing, on film, 'The First Happy Days of Summer', or some such twaddle. Anyway, there I was, plastered all over the front page of the ES, looking extremely fetching in me bikini. Got called into the boss's office the next day and there, spread conspicuously across his desk was...well...me! So how would you get out of that one, Linsi??? Me? I laughed and got another job...

Fri, 2001-10-12 22:11

#13

Linsi

Nice one Andrea!! (titters) I think I would have died on the spot. What did your boss say to you? and what was your excuse?

Sat, 2001-10-13 08:51

#14

kimwest

My partner was walking the dog not feeling like going to work when a large oak tree fell over just by him. In his version of the story he shifted it over a bit and converted it into a large oak tree flaling onto him (partially)....I can't believe that he actually used this..he still gets ribbed about it.. The other way is to steal the use of unpleasant symptoms from someone else's condition...this means you have a reliable backboiler "condition" (eg: ongoing "investigations" of a personal nature of obscure problem to do with bottoms) that you can draw upon at time of need (or swimming) Finally there is the use of migraine to get you out of difficult or boring social situations... "Oh dear my vision has gone blurred..It must be a migraine"..mime blurry vision..screw up eyes to see if that helps...shake head and look upset...that got us out of a potential wife swopping incident!

Sun, 2001-10-14 08:27

#15

Jozef Imsick

We've read about employees being hunted down by their fictional sickies and excuses. It is dangerous to be lying and tempting fate. I know of someone who told his employer he had a fever as a way of having a day in the sun. He was suffering an extreme ordeal of guilt and he started to believe in the reality of the story. The next day, he ended up in hospital where he stayed for a week with high fever. And then there was a friend who said that toilet was blocked and ... (grin)

Sun, 2001-10-14 13:29

#16

Andrea

Well, I couldn't really offer an excuse, could I? I mean there I was, frolicking in the sun, scantily clad and looking remarkably healthy. And what did the boss say? He fired me. Hated the bloody job anyway...

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&quot;Pullin' Sickies&quot;

"Pullin' Sickies"