help!

Well that's what I said, Fish. In other words...

Try taking out the keys and cleaning 'em with one of those white stick things (can't think what they're called in English offhand) wot you clean your ears with, dipped in white spirit. Could well be all clogged up with bits of choccy and crumbs or whatever it is you stuff your face with whilst composing your masterpieces. Do hope all is well with asdfghjkl et al... Oh, just remembered...cotton buds.

I think somebody's trying to tell you something, fish...You've also gone small on my screen.

The fish has completely disappeared on my screen. Did you vacuum yourself fish rather than the top part of your keyboard?

Buy a new keyboard, they're about a fiver. :O)

hahahahahhaaaa ... g00d *dv*c* l*ana ... b*t am c0nc**n*d ab0*t b*ng small 0n sc***ns ... *hat d0*s *t m*an? <~~~~~ hav*ng *x*st*nt*al c**s*s ...

This amused me SO much, I had to let you all know...here is me and Fish, instant messaging each other :o)) I am trigger by the way (dont ask) ivoryfishbone: aaaaaa*gh Trigger Hippie: lmaoooo ivoryfishbone: *ts sh*t* Trigger Hippie: *** **** *h*ng Trigger Hippie: lmaooo ivoryfishbone: am g0*ng mad ivoryfishbone: MAD Trigger Hippie: *m n** la*gh*ng, **all* * am b**ng v*** s*m*a*h***c ivoryfishbone: hahahahahhahahaaaa Trigger Hippie: you pooor thing...would drive me insaneeeeee ivoryfishbone: *t** *s c0m*ng 0v* **th a n** 0n* ivoryfishbone: !!!!!! Trigger Hippie: what the hell was that???? *pi*#ing self* ivoryfishbone: a n00 0n* ivoryfishbone: a n00 k/b ivoryfishbone: hahahahhahahaaaa Trigger Hippie: AHA lolol when? I have several spare here *smug* ivoryfishbone: f*ck 0ff ivoryfishbone: hahahahahhaaaa ivoryfishbone: s00n Trigger Hippie: lmaoo l know, l know.......B**ch :o)) Trigger Hippie: so, let me see if lve got this right... "Your new keyboard is coming soon?" ivoryfishbone: HAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAAA ... y*s Trigger Hippie: marvellous. Ok, Fish..... just for the hell of it... qwertyuioppoiuytrewq :o))) ivoryfishbone: hahahahahahhaha basta*d Trigger Hippie: YOUR T worked!!!! ivoryfishbone: ys t & y d0 Trigger Hippie: lmao l am ROLLING around here thanks for this...l was in a VILE mood :o))) ivoryfishbone: hahahahahhahaaa ivoryfishbone: <~~~~k*ll*ng s*lf laff*n ivoryfishbone: h00t*ng

I don't think it's their keyboards that aren't wired up right.

i am fixed! hurrah and thrice hurrah!!!!! QWERTYUIOP!!!!!!

Pity - that was my next Poetry Gauntlet - write a piece only using the lower three rows of the keyboard (counting the space bar) All fads flag. Sad. Asda... cava, cava, cava cava, cava, cava ha ha ha Bit of an achievement to wring any sort of meaning out of that. Only having one vowel makes it more than tricky.

Forgot JAFFA... Maybe you could rewrite Eating Oranges that way Ivory...

go on andrew ...scoff! ... it is an absolute trauma being deprived of the top line ... had already begun thinking along the lines of writing something with only the rest of the letters ... then i was thinking eddie could do something like ... for B read E etc. and do it much better than i could ...

Phew...Am I glad that crisis is over???... How did you??? fix it, fish?

i didn't actually fix it fecky ... i sent an anguished text message to my computer and van mechanic and he scurried over to rescue me ... have now got different keyboard with functioning topline ... (not to mention the oil change) ... thank you for your concern ...

Gawd, what a panic... I came over all funny there for a sec.

How did you post that first message, fish? I'm intrigued....

I reckon...she did it on her laptop, put it on floppy, then pasted it in. Go on Fish, tell us!!

She just used her grey matter, is all...

i can always find a creative solution ...