the sexy bits

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the sexy bits

in the days of yore when i used to train librarians ... *hears muffled sman at the back* ... we had a jolly question to break the ice .... it was

"what did you read for the dirty bits when you were a kid?"

so come on talers ... fess up ...

Damon Leigh
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Errr....my Mum's Cosmopolitan. The night I lost my cherry, I was convinced she'd start asking me multiple choice questions at any moment!
Dave Randall
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My older brother had a copy of James Baldwin's Another Country, that I used to sneak out of his room to read the sexy bits at night. It was years later that I read it to see if it had any merit besides the sex and of course it is a wonderful novel that I would recommend to anyone.
mississippi
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Well I have to admit I was still a virgin at 23, mainly because I thought sex was the number after five! The conclusion you can draw from this is that I led a very sheltered life and never read any 'filth' until I was almost too old to take part!!!
Tony Cook
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We had one copy of 'The Passion Flower Hotel' at our boy's boarding school - I used to rent it out! It was good though - phwoar! pip pip
Martin T
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At school. some lads in the year below had a porn mag library which they lent out and 20p a go....quite the young entrepreneurs, and this at a Christian Brother school as well....catholics they're the worst!!
sigh,man
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Story of O and Joy of Sex. Lady Chats lovely as well.
Andrea
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Well, Lady Chat's was banned in them days, see. And we all know what people do when governments try to ban things, don't we?
mississippi
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So you're an ecumenical rascist then Martin!
mississippi
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I'll try that again, 'racist'. Phew, I wouldn't want any pedants picking up my bad spelling!
Martin T
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Hardly mississippi, if you read the post you should be able to work out that I was at a catholic school.....ergo....I was a catholic....altar boy...the works.....lapsed now tempted to turn to god again after reading your post.....
daisy
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When I was very young around 9 or 10 it had to be Judy Blume's 'Forever'. It was passed around so much and the rude pages were so well thumbed that you didn't need to read the book as they just fell open at the naughty bits. Now I'm a lot older it has to be Charles Bukowski for a really dirty read.
mississippi
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You make the mistake of thinking I can't work things out without your help martin. My remarks were a bit tongue in cheek and concerned your closing phrase! Now I'm going to be held responsible for your sudden rekindled interest in fairy tales!
naught vicar
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one perhaps shouln't suggest something is tongue in cheek to an altar boy
Emily Dubberley
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Judy Blume - yes! I remember that - Ralph in particular. I was the bad one that bought in the copy that got passed round the school (seem to remember the boys being particularly keen to resad it)
andrew pack
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At our sixth form, there was a secretive trade amongst the girls in literary pornography - Lace being a particular favourite. Found this out slightly later when dating one of said girls, who could be revved up with great ease simply by reading aloud snippets of Lace.
Emily Dubberley
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seem to remember a *very* dodgy goldfish scene in Lace...
andrew pack
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Yes, I always found that bit rather disturbing too. Wasn't in the mini-series (fave andrew mini-series is Lucky Bitches, what a top name)
frank J foley
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sometime pre-ten it was, when i found this saucy book at my nan's house! (my nan's house!) think it was a jilly cooper, "Riders" or something ... great sections on this battery operated thing the protagonist called the "green hornet" ... her special friend. something like that anyway. james herbet always had some fruity sauce ... something in The Rats, i'm sure. (The Rats! not the best image to conjour!)
Martin T
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Sorry Mississippi....your attempt at humour fell on stony ground........
mississippi
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Only YOUR stony ground Martyr!
Martin T
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Aren't you straying a bit from the point of this thread Missi.....and labouring the point a little....a joke doesn't get funnier with repetition....
rocky
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it fell on my stony ground too. it's no joke calling somebody a racist
richardw
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it was maybe "rats" or "domain" had a lot of rumpo in them. when i was in primary school, i used to hide the book versions under my bed of those awful seventies films like the mist and dark seed, not literary at all, but i don't see the border between lit. and filth usually! it is interesting that crap like lady chatterley is on the syllabus for universaity english courses?
Julie Andrews
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you are sixteen going on a massive harley davidson!
andrea
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Used to read "Lady Chatterly" in the back of the maths class, and snigger desperately at logarithms
wolfgirl
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Michael Moorcock's 'Behold The Man'. It had four letter words in it. Quelle Horreur! I can remember being delightfully immature when reading 'Kes' out in class. Everyone wanted it read it so they could swear. However, my all time favourite filth merchants were Martin Amis and Molly Parkin.
stormy rhythm
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I used to nick my dad's copies of Health and Efficiency. Grew up thinking porn was naked people playing tennis.
Gabrielle
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There was no such thing as sex when I was akid.
mandylifeboats
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My father's Rationalist Press books, pointing out the dirty bits in the Bible and why it wasn't fit to be read by children.
Andrea
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Just thought of another one - The Kama Sutra - always good for a snigger, that...'specially the bits about the horses and elephants.
Emily Dubberley
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Anais Nin's Delta of Venus and Jackie Collins
mandylifeboats
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My ex-husband said that The Pleasures of the Torture Chamber was freely available in the library of his Catholic boys' school.
Andrea
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Why doesn't that surprise me, Mandy?
Fecky
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I used to read any public lavatory walls I could get my pencil on
Liana
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A visitor to my parents home left a copy of a Xaviera (sp?) Hollanders book; "The Happy Hooker" under the spare bed. Blimmy, scared me to death.....
beef
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My dad caught me reading his copy of Roald Dahl's more adult stories ('Switch Bitch', possibly?). I tried to hide it under a sofa cushion every time he came in, but the book disappeared after that - never seen it again in about seven years...
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