I need to find the unicorn!

Ya, dis is all very Freudian. A lot of people laughing about a mythical horned beast. I must consider this carefully.

not in bed ... just pondering

ever sensible that vine. think I'll join her. (not in the biblical sense you understand but in the act of bedgoing) never did get wots it awl abou' ta ta

Clem, It's more Stupidian than Freudian. Welcome aboard! I hope those restraining straps ain't too tight for ya.

i want some straps ... *whining*

LMAO wolfie

Ivoryfishbone on the Ponderosa. Whatta film title. Hey, there's big bucks in Unicorns. This thread is the biggest cigar on this site. Hip! Hip! for Nessa - Sitemeister Extraordinaire!

*thinks of opening new virtual wine bar to rival Ta Chucks ... The Elf and Unicorn ....*

Shorely you mean *wine-ing* Ivoryperson?

Ve aff many strapping drinking songs for you ivy. elves and unique horns considered too. whatever your pleasure come to World Of Leather

We will supply all the Elf Mead U need Ivorybabe!

I do not know zis 'Wolfie' person. I simply walked into the room and saw a computer...I was curious you know. However, I do feel a strange presence, a hot breath on the back of my neck...the smell of animal magnetism, the rancid decay of prey in the air...sweat and faeces. Oh, it's OK. It is only my vife Gertrude.

I will arise and go now, and go to help Ivy. I am at your service for your new venture, Ms IFB

Ve know evryfink gert. Rude stuff too. Now don't be so faeces shus.

yeats how utterly charming ...

oohhh I cant wait hurry up with the menu Yeats

I am so sorry but I must leave you. Gerty is rubbing her moustache suggestively on the back of my hand. I tink she is in de mood for something fruity. It's OK, you get used to the smell. I'll be with you soon Gerty darling. I may be some time. She has more rolls than Hovis.

think cousin hilda will mind if i nick the frodonuts etc. for my new hostelry???

I am about to publish my 18th award winning book of poems. In deference to Mr Bennett, I have decided to call it 'Never Mind My B*ll*cks, Look at My Face' I was going to call it 'Giving Up On Audenary' but this thread has inspired me since it is such a load of scr*tum. I'll be in the Vas Deferens Lounge if anybody wants an autograph.

Sorry, Ivory, i ate all the Frodonuts. And boy, is he mad!

is it 'Spellhorn'? Can't remember author, cover sounds very very familiar though... a blind girl and her unicorn, some old cave people too possibly? I'll keep looking for my old copy - hope that's a help though

I think the mystery might be solved! Spellhorn does indeed sound familiar - i am off to see if I can find it on Bookplace!! Thank you Beef!!! xxx

And thanks to all the contributors to this thread for leading nessa unerringly to her destination. Well done chaps and chapesses!

yah yah see .... we gets there in the end ... hooorah for beef (interesting work too ...)

this calls for a celebration! elfmeisters all round!

I love The Dark is Rising, but I didn't realise there was a series, what are the other books called? It's the kind of childrens fiction I'd really like to write. PS I'm still trying to find a copy of The Quanglewangleque - or someone else who has heard of it.

Is it Edward Lear? If it is then I definitely know it (I'm sure I remember a quanglewangle).

The Quangle Wangle's Hat by Edward Lear On the top of the Crumpetty Tree The Quangle Wangle sat, But his face you could not see, On account of his Beaver Hat. .... etc.

Dark is rising :- Under Sea Over Stone, The Dark is Rising, Greenwitch, Silver on the Tree. I think I have missed one out, but it was a long time ago. I always wanted a pet squirrel (Enid Blyton had a series where one character had a squirrel that was tame and loyal) and I was gutted when parents got me a kitten instead. There is a way to catch unicorns as I recall, but it involves virgins... so little hope on this site.

We had a Druid Society at college that had to disband; they couldn't find a virgin to sacrifice. What do you call a nun on a clown's back? Virgin on the ridiculous. SO sorry.