My #1 Problem

Hard to say without seeing any of your stuff – couldn’t find any of your abcs. Maybe ask yourself whether all those actions are necessary for the plot/character development? What happens if you leave some of them out? Or all of them? If the action is really important, it night be worth trying to rework some of your ideas as screenplays instead of stories. Or take a look at how it’s been done by writers whose work you like. Good luck!

My registration's sorted out now, so I expect I'll upload one or two pieces. Repetition of actions is a lodestone I perenially bear. I just think that NVC is so telling and evocative when done right.

Mr. Alex-J - if it helps you form some kind of answer to this very severe problem, I shall tell you that Rokkitnite's prose is very detailed, and such actions are usually important, reflecting character's relationships with each other. In contrast to say, Ivoryfishbone's 'Dogballs', where the actions are described very broadly, and people's conversations and situations come in snippets that leave much to the imagination, Rokkitnite's work is done with a fine-brush, working in the detail of every scene so as to paint it very vividly before the reader's eyes. Since I sometimes try to write like this too, I very much appreciate the difficulty of repeated gestures.

Sadly don't have any answers, just think the writing tips forum is a bit neglected so thought I'd put my twopence in... So henstoat, how do you go about solving this problem?

If it gets to the point where I notice people are repeating the same actions, I usually try to make them do something else, or suggest their action through speech. I might say "Ha! Like I believe that!" instead of, 'He snorted contemptuously - "Like I believe that!" or "Hmm. Maybe," instead of 'She considered his proposal - "Maybe." Smiles can be suggested by a joke, by saying 'this seemed to please him', or, if the dialogue suggests some other emotion, by saying, 'but he was not offended.' As for looking - if it's the protagonist, they can simply talk about the object they've seen. Instead of, "I looked up at her," go right onto "She pouted at me." Moving I'm not sure about - I generally have my characters traipse, saunter, wander, stagger or make their way to. Anything to avoid 'walk', because walk seems to say nothing about the manner of their movement, and I like to emphasise manner. In some of my stories, I emphasise the repetition to suggest the reactions of the characters are mechanical and automatic. Someone might 'smile' repeatedly to show that they don't know how else to react, or laugh again and again because they find every situation funny. Like Kurt Vonnegut repeating 'So it goes' or 'Hi ho' at the end of every paragraph. It builds into a rhythm, especially if you don't vary the wording - "He went over to the window - speech - he came back from the window - speech - he went over to the window - speech - he came back from the window." The character is clearly caught in a cycle of indecision. Check out the story I uploaded today - 'Rubber covered brake unloaded castors' - for an example of this.

I try not to bother with he said, she said, ..if it's two characters talking just stick to the dialogue (if you've already set up the surroundings and don't have anything else to say about it) ..don't bother with the saids, unless you want to be buried in a Thesaurus all evening.. of course, if it's three characters you're fucked.. Great advice eh?..

I didn't use saids in my dialogue and some people got confused as to who was speaking. It's not that hard is it. You are right, he said, she said looks juvenile when written over and over One thing i was told when i did do dialogue alone was that you can't glean what characters are doing physically and facially so finding alternatives to walked, scowled, shouted and pouted is correct. Certainly avoid cliches.