Channel 4's 100 worst pop records

The list is a load of bollocks. Everybodys list would be different. It's a pity Channel 4 don't spend their time and money trying to make some original TV programmes instead of wasting time compiling lists that have no relevance to anybody except those that compiled them.

I agree about the novelty records - they are destined to be bad and should have been excluded. It's the subtly crap ones like Witney Houston's offering which count . Hearing that again reminded me of the great remark made by Sade in the eighties about most so-called 'soul' music being totally lacking in soul , love songs about lust more than love.

There ya go! Freda proves my point.

don't know Len. I guess it's a bit like your posts on this forum.

I'd never heard of any of the pundits, and I just feel sorry for that poor Jimmy Carr chap. Is he the Channel 4 teaboy? It says it all when the singles they slagged off had the caption ('went to No.1...') These songs were popular. Any of those pundits would give their right arm for that kind of exposure and fame, not to mention the cash from writing something so 'awful' as Wannabe or My Heart Will Go On. It's only pop music. It's only a matter of time before Channel 4 begins making day-long clips programmes like this lazy, tired, lame excuse for a waste of time. I'm sure Keith Harris doesn't give a bird's beak how bad 'I Wish I Could Fly' was, as long as the royalties still flood in.

Didnt see it - but I liked the '100 greatest tv moments' that was on on NYE... fell asleep before the end though. I was told the number one was the rugby thingy anyway, so no loss.

Well said Jeff. THe Birdie song may be kind of naff but people forget it had one of the most classic middle 8 sections ever written. Shame it wasn't put into another song. Macarthurs Park was basically a load of bollocks but it didnt deserve to be in the worst 100, still a great pop song. and where was Another Brick In The Wall by Pink Floyd? got to be the most disgusting pile of cack ever. a bunch of mega-rich musicians who send their kids to public school promoting an anti-education message amongst working class kids - how sick is that!

I can't agree more about Another Brick in the Wall! The 100 worst pop records was entertaining in that I enjoyed hearing some of those songs again, especially the Wannabe one. I have really good taste in music and here were some of my forgotten favourites. I didn't get to watch the last 20 though and wondered if Don't you want me ? by The Human League came up? Or Grocer Jack.

I disagree about Another Brick in the Wall. I like a lot of Pink Floyd but don't own The Wall because it doesn't do a lot for me. But even so, to caricature as an anti-education message misses a lot. It's also about control and not growing up to be a control freak. You can build a wall around yourself to protect yourself but if you go on into adult life with it so it insulates you from any empathy with those who are indifferent then intolerance and power become a devil's brew. At least thats what I thought it was about.

There You Go 100 WORST POP RECORDS 1. The Cheeky Song (Touch My Bum) - The Cheeky Girls 2. The Millennium Prayer - Cliff Richard 3. Agadoo - Black Lace 4. Candle In The Wind 1997 - Elton John 5. Fast Food Song - The Fast Food Rockers 6. Mr Blobby - Mr Blobby 7. Because We Want To - Billie 8. Barbie Girl - Aqua 9. Achy Breaky Heart - Billy Ray Cyrus 10. Jenny From The Block - Jennifer Lopez 11. Orville's Song - Keith Harris and Orville 12. Look At Me - Gerri Halliwells 13. Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Yellow Polka Dot Bikini - Bombalurina feat. Timmy Mallett 14. (Everything I Do) I Do It For You - Bryan Adams 15. Sacred Trust - One True Voice 16. Against All Odds - Mariah Carey and Westlife 17. Who Let The Dogs Out? - Baha Men 18. 5,6,7,8 - Steps 19. Living Next Door To Alice (Who The F**k Is Alice) - Smokie feat. Roy 'Chubby' Brown 20. Anyone Can Fall In Love - Anita Dobson 21. There's No One Quite Like Grandma - St. Winifred's School Choir 22. Teletubbies Say 'Eh-Oh' - The Teletubbies 23. Earth Song - Michael Jackson 24. The Lady In Red - Chris de Burgh 25. My Heart Will Go On - Celine Dion 26. No Way No Way - Vanilla 27. Wannabe - The Spice Girls 28. For All Time - Catherine Zeta Jones 29. Mama - Who Da Man? - Richard Blackwood 30. Can I Touch You There? - Michael Bolton 31. The Birdie Song - The Tweets 32. Suspicious Minds - Gareth 33. Diamond Lights - Glenn Hoddle and Chris Waddle 34. Lucky - Britney Spears 35. Long Haired Lover From Liverpool - Little Jimmy Osmond 36. Believe - Cher 37. Macarena - Los Del Rio 38. Boys (Summertime Love) - Sabrina 39. Just Say No - Grange Hill Cast 40. Y Viva Espania - Sylvia 41. Unchained Melody - Robson and Jerome 42. Can We Fix It? - Bob the Builder 43. Fog On The Tyne (Revisited) - Gazza and Lindisfarne 44. Shaddap You Face - Joe Dolce Music Theatre 45. Chick, Chick, Chicken - Natalie Casey 46. Ice Ice Baby - Vanilla Ice 47. Touch Me (I Want Your Body) - Samantha Fox 48. Grandad - Clive Dunn 49. Puppy Love - Donny Osmond 50. Hooray Hooray, It's a Holi-Holiday - Boney M 51. I Will Always Love You - Whitney Houston 52. Dick-A-Dum-Dum (King's Road) - Des O'Connor 53. Girl, You Know It's True - Milli Vanilli 54. Out Of Your Mind - Truesteppers and Dane Bowers feat. Victoria Beckham 55. Mysterious Girl - Peter Andre 56. Back Home - England World Cup Squad 57. Every Loser Wins - Nick Berry 58. MmmBop - Hanson 59. Chirpy Chirpy Cheep Cheep - Middle of the Road 60. I Wanna Be A Hippy - Technohead 61. Don't It Make You Feel Good - Stefan Dennis 62. I'd Do Anything For Love (But I Won't Do That) - Meatloaf 63. We All Stand Together - Paul McCartney and the Frog Chorus 64. Star Trekkin - The Firm 65. Perfect Moment - Martine McCutcheon 66. Doop - Doop 67. We Are The World - USA for Africa 68. Give Me Your Body - The Chippendales 69. I Should Be So Lucky - Kylie Minogue 70. Cotton Eye Joe - The Rednex 71. The Floral Dance - Terry Wogan 72. I Lost My Heart To A Starship Trooper - Sarah Brightman and Hot Gossip 73. We Will Rock You - Five feat. Queen 74. Dirrty - Cristina Aguilera 75. Wind Beneath My Wings - Bette Middler 76. No Limits - 2 Unlimited 77. I Wanna Sex U Up - Color Me Badd 78. The Laughing Gnome - David Bowie 79. Love Is All Around - Wet Wet Wet 80. So Macho - Sinitta 81. American Pie - Madonna 82. Do Ya Think I'm Sexy? - Rod Stewart 83. We Built This City - Starship 84. Let's Get Ready To Rhumble - PJ and Duncan 85. Love And Tears - Naomi Campbell 86. Save Your Love - Rene and Renato 87. Saturday Night - Whigfield 88. Hello - Lionel Richie 89. Remember You're A Womble - The Wombles 90. MacArthur Park - Richard Harris 91. I'd Rather Jack - The Reynolds Girls 92. Vindaloo - Fat Les 93. Ebony And Ivory - Paul McCartney with Stevie Wonder 94. My Toot Toot - Denise la Salle 95. Ebeneezer Goode - The Shamen 96. Making Your Mind Up - Bucks Fizz 97. Do They Know It's Christmas? - Band Aid II 98. Rabbit - Chas and Dave 99. C'est la Vie - Bewitched 100. Spaceman - Babylon Zoo Ralph

It's sneer TV. Hate it, hate it. I caught a programme where three pundits I've never heard of were auto-sneering at the year's television. I thought, well, what programmes have you three made? Apart from this parasitical shambles.

MmBop was a great song. Who chose these? And where is that awful Ms. Jackson one by Outkast.. and where is whiter shade of pale? I cant take this list seriously....

91. I'd Rather Jack - The Reynolds Girls 95. Ebeneezer Goode - The Shamen 99. C'est la Vie - Bewitched I liked 91 & 95 and i fancied one of the twins in Bewitched,so they shouldn't be there.

I'm trying to think of my own "worst" records - the few that I actually had to switch the radio off till they were over. At the moment I'm switching off the Fat Man Scoop record. In the past I've switched off: Help Me Make it Through the Night. Killing me Softly with his Song. Sailing. Keith Michell's record about Moley Mole and company. Stairway to Heaven. Tainted love (Maralyn Manson version). I've only heard Shane Ritchie's single once, but it's jaw droppingly bad. * Crap records I've enjoyed: Macy Gray's Christmas record: "Walking in a Winter Wonderland". Anything by Bananarama. My Way (Sid Vicious version). Most things by The Carpenters (not "Hey Mr Postman", though). Do You Wanna Dance by Barry Blue. Rock the Casbah by the Clash. The Funky Chicken by Rufus Thomas. I could go on, I fear.

It all seems a bit mean spirited. I've only skimmed the list but I've picked out at least 20 which are unispiring but inoffensive, fairly pleasant pop songs. Then there's some which the world would've been a much worse place without: 'Hello' for example. The video for that song is probably the funniest thing I've ever seen on TV. But a lot of them are good for what they are. 'Vindaloo', compared to your average football single, was pretty good, 'Wannabe' is a well crafted pop song that's far superior to the limp imitations it spurned and I'm not a fan of charity records but, if you have to have them, 'Do they know it's Christmas' is one of the better ones.

How does the voting work anyway? I get the impression Channel 4 says, "Here's the 100 worst records you can vote for..." and the voting merely decides the order they appear in. By the way, have YOU ever voted for one of these things? Do you know anyone who has? Or anyone who knows anyone who has? As for these "failed" journalists: well, I think you'll find many of them are leaders in their fields: editors, columnists, commentators, comedians good enough at least to get on telly (and trust me, there are millions too shite even to make it that far). The presenter actually possesses the gift of dry wit, more talented than real tossers and bullies like Norton, Lamarr and (on the radio) the irksome Moyles. Some of these "failures" may well be failed celebrities or musicians, but if you sneer at them for this, how are you any better than they? So there.

Shouldnt that song by Benny off Crossroads have been in there. I cant remember the title but it was about his girlfriend, a gypsy girl, who got knocked off her bike on the way to marrying him. And it was hilarious, unintentionally of course. Ah, quality telly and a mis-spent youth; what a combination!

'Mmbop' was a great pop record. Reminds me of a time when I had a holiday in the Lake District. 'Ironic' by the useless Morisette should surly have been in there. ralph

Ralph, just when you were starting to redeem yourself. I'm disappointed in you...

did mmbop have any lyrics?

But........

Laughing Gnome and american pie shouldn't be there either. Why wasn't 'deck of cards' by Max bygraves in there. MMbop yeah yeah yeah mmbop yeahyeahyeah brilliant.

Oh oh oh oh oh Yeah You have so many relationships in this life Only one or two will last You go through all the pain and strife Then you turn your back and they're gone so fast Oh yeah And they're gone so fast, yeah Oh So hold on the ones who really care In the end they'll be the only ones there And when you get old and start losing your hair Tell me who will still care Can you tell me who will still care? Oh care Mmmbop, ba duba dop Ba du bop, ba duba dop Ba du bop, ba duba dop Ba du Yeah Mmmbop, ba duba dop Ba du bop, Ba du dop Ba du bop, Ba du dop Ba du Yeah Oh yeah In an Mmmbop they're gone Yeah yeah Plant a seed, plant a flower, plant a rose You can plant any one of those Keep planting to find out which one grows It's a secret no one knows It's a secret no one knows Oh, no one knows Mmmbop, ba duba dop Ba du bop, ba duba dop Ba du bop, ba duba dop Ba du, yeah Mmmbop, ba duba dop Ba du bop, Ba du dop Ba du bop, Ba du dop Ba du, yeah Oh Yeah oh In an mmm bop they're gone Oh yeah oh In an mmmbop they're gone In an mmm bop they're not there In an mmmbop they're gone In an mmm bop they're not there In an mmmbop they're gone In an mmmbop they're not there In an mmmbop they're gone In an mmmbop they're not there Until you lose your hair Oh But you don't care Mmmbop, ba duba dop Ba du bop, ba duba dop Ba du bop, ba duba dop Ba du, yeah Mmmbop, ba duba dop Ba du bop, Ba du dop Ba du bop, Ba du dop Ba du, yeah Yeah Oh yeah oh oh So hold on the ones who really care In the end they'll be the only ones there And hen you get old and start losing your hair Tell me who will still care Can you tell me who will still care? Oh care Mmmbop, ba duba dop Ba du bop, ba duba dop Ba du bop, ba duba dop Ba du, yeah Mmmbop, ba duba dop Ba du bop, Ba du dop Ba du bop, Ba du dop Ba du, care Can you tell me? oh No you can't 'cause you don't know Can you tell me? oh You say you can but you don't know Can you tell me? oh (Which flower's going to grow?) No you can't 'cause you don't know Can you tell me? oh (If it's going to be a daisy or a rose?) You say you can but you don't know Can you tell me? oh (which flower's going to grow?) No you can't 'cause you don't know Can you tell me? oh You say you can but you don't know Oh yeah You say you can but you don't know You dont know You dont know, oh Mmmbop, ba duba dop Ba du bop, ba duba dop Ba du bop, ba duba dop Ba du, yeah Mmmbop, ba duba dop Ba du bop, Ba du dop Ba du bop, Ba du dop Ba du, care Oh Can u tell me? oh No you can't 'cause you don't know Can u tell me? oh You say you can but you don't know Can u tell me? oh No you can't 'cause you don't know Can u tell me? You say you can but you don't know

Its great. In a pre Monkees 'Head'/ Post Jackson 5/Osmonds kind of way. I have drunk way to much coffee today. ralph

For me its Tia Maria. Very Eighties, but very necessary when your friend drops off the daughter of Satan to be minded for the day. Soon it will be heroin i fear.

If those lyrics are good then i'm a Ninny. Nude lady Mud Wrestling....oh doh! *shudders at the thought of wearing gold bikini*

*gets carving knife out* That joke is dead. It is lying in the ground with a headstone that reads "i was never funny in the first place"

*rushes into thread with a gun*

there are tedious goings on afoot here liana ... shall we murder the perpetrator/s?

What joke?

the mud wrestling one flash. Fish, i am armed. shall we rush it?

*cocks*

'rims'

That was never a joke.

Correct Flash. Ralph, please try harder.

*peers round door with shiny end of muzzle*

I agree with D.Beswetherick that it is sneer TV. When Hughie Green left opportunity knocks in the 70's he made this big speech on the last show about how he'd been forced out of showbiz by the wicked world of TV executives. That was bad enough but then he made it into a record. This is definitely a minority interest thing but those few of us unlucky enough to ever hear it deserve some sympathy I feel.

Where was Sigue Sigue Sputnik amongst that lot???? Dammit!

I always thought Achy Breaky Heart was a ‘bit of a laugh’ song. And there’s nowt wrong with a bit of a laugh, is there? Look At Me by Geri Halliwell didn’t irritate me – the reasons given for its alleged irritation factor in the programme (though I didn’t watch the entire thing), was because it was a ‘Geri demanding attention’ song or something…So what?! Sacred Trust was not a rubbish song – the chorus was a let down, but the verse had a nice feel to it. It was recorded by a band who didn’t continue – but written by a band who gave us lovelies like ‘You Win Again’. What’s the fact that Cher’s Believe has that computerised voice thing in it got to do with anything (as the show stated)? I find it far more irritating that other ‘singers’ have stolen that idea and keep on using it, to the extent that it just gets boring. We Built This City had a poor video according to the show…er, what’s that got to do with the actual song? And how can any nice person knock Remember You’re A Womble?! What a bridge! Lovely melody! So the general conclusion I guess, is the ‘more irritating’ the song, the higher it gets (a lot on the list got to No. 1, I think) in the charts…which proves…not a great deal!

I think novelty records should have been banned from this list - isn't that what the top ten annoying records was all about? I will always love you hits the mark for me. Horrible overblown soulless shite dressed up as "a classic performance". And so many people insisted it was great at the time. Dontchya feel daft now, huh? American Pie was bad enough originally, Flash. A load of redneck shitkicking good-ol-boy bollocks, made even worse taken out of context by a vacuous shag-to-the-top wrinkly old airhead.

It's interesting that The Cheeky Girl's have two in the top ten. I wonder if they'd been popular in say the seventies, they'd still rate a double whammy in the top ten. Thankfully people forget.

Please feel free to remove several of my digits for that errant apostrophe in Cheeky Girls.