Annoying People

I'm doing a PHD into the chattering classes and their self absorbed view of life . The scum from below stairs are not entitled to an opinion . Art and books have to be in their own image etc . I'm just the Johnny Rotten of Books , I even set myself up so you can all knock me down . You should all read between the lines . As for being told off , because somebody assumes that I assume Clive James reads this religiously .....

Me and Clive spent hours reading The Sporting Life so that we could raise a few bob for his salsa lessons and my wine gums

see you chums

http://groups.msn.com/michaelcasey just login with any old hotmail account and read between the lines .

The Butcher , The Baker and The Undertaker ©

By

Michael Casey

Chapter Twelve A Mother's Tears
*********************************

The next day dawned bright and cheerful with the morning breeze

seeming to play catch with the clouds moving them across the blue sky ,

the sun was smiling too stretching itself over the horizon , soon it'd

chase the night away . One last corner of darkness seemed to put its

tongue out at the rising sun before runing away from the growing light ,

for a last time the dark put its tongue out at the sun , it was running

away now but come night time it'd return .

On the street the shops all began to open , a kind of yawning

a kind of stretching motion , as if they all wanted to stay in the warmth

of the bed . But the day had to be faced , the clock couldn't be turned

back , life had to go on . Each time they had tried to catch or observe

the kidnapper they'd been out manouvred , if only they could stay curled

up in bed , if only they'd wake up and find it had just been a bad dream .

Only this nightmare went on .

Patrick's mother rang early before Patrick had even put the

kettle on .

"How's Balbinder and Amjit ? " asked Mrs Murphy , still fingering her

beads .

"They are coping , only the kidnapper gave us the slip . "

"Again . "

"How did you know ? "

"Frank came and told me , he loves little Sheila too . "

"Who ? "

"Sheila , your daughter ! "

"Sorry , I'm not with it this morning . "

"Don't worry Patrick , the Novena never fails . "

"Thanks mom , I better go now . "

"Patrick don't be afraid , everthing will be ok , trust your old mom . "

"Bye mom . "

Mrs Murphy hung up the phone , she'd said a decade of the

rosary while talking to her son , she'd have time to said another full

rosary before she got the breakfasts ready . She just hoped St. Anthony

would hurry up , ah well , there was always Mother Theresa , she knew she

loved children .

Patrick left his coffee cup in the sink with the pile of other

cups , he hadn't got the energy to do any washing up these past few days .

So giving hairy Amjit a tin of food Patrick crossed the road to begin his

day's vigil with Amjit . George and Brownie were already there , Brownie

spitting in the face of fear .

"Hello , well the weather looks nice , " began Patrick trying to sound

happy .

"It's nice enough for a picnic , " said George taking up the theme .

"Yes , normally we go for an adventure when its as fine as this , " added

Brownie .

"How do you mean ? " said Patrick stoking the conversation , he knew any

talk was better than silence , silence was dark and cold , and gave you a

chance to think the worse of Jaswinder's situation .

"Well , we jump on one bus , then get off and jump on another , then get

off and jump on a third one , " began George .

"We've got to know the Black Country and Birmingham quite well by doing it

we even have discovered a few nice little parks and cafes , " interrupted

Brownie warming to the conversation , it almost felt like normal , but for

Amjit's weak smile .

"That's good , its nice to get out , my mom does the same thing only with

her its the churches she roots out , " Patrick smiled at the thought .

"Why don't you do it today , its a nice day , you should get out , feel

the sunshine on your faces , " encouraged Amjit .

"But we couldn't , well we didn't mean to say that , " began Brownie .

Amjit put his hand on her arm , he motioned to the door , "just go out for

a run , it'll blow the cobwebs away . "

"Are you sure you don't need us , " George felt guilty , as if he'd fallen

asleep on guard duty .

"Hey , go , or do I have to throw you out , here have a bunch of bananas

too , " Amjit then held the door open for them .

Brownie nodded to Patrick , then gave Amjit a motherly peck on the cheek .

"I hope he didn't think we don't care about Jaswinder , she's

our Indian Princess too , " said Brownie as they got on the first bus .

"It's ok , besides once the cobwebs are blown away then we'll be more

useful to them . Even a soldier has to have rest and recreation , "

replied George .

After playing leap frog with the buses George and Brownie came to

O'Toole Park , it wasn't really a park just an area of boggy land not

worth the expense of draining . Old houses had been knocked down , their

back gardens had been incorporated into the park , including the trees

which used to be in the back gardens of the houses , nearby new houses had

been built . With a pathway added and a few benches a new park had been

formed , The O'Toole Park , named after a former councillor , the

councillor had subsequently been found guilt of accepting bribes , but the

park still bore his name , everything couldn't be renamed after all ,

that's left for Historians and Journalists to do . So finding their

favourite bench they sat down , sighing , not talking for half an hour .

"Here have a banana , " said Brownie proffering one to George .

"If only I was a younger man , I'd be scouring the streets , and when I

caught the little bastard who took Jaswinder I'd give him what for , "

said George in between bites of the banana .

"Don't upset yourself we've done our bit , " said Brownie before handing

George another banana .

"I feel so useless , it was like this during the war , I couldn't wait to

give Hitler and the Nazis what for ," George was snapping at the banana.

"Be careful or you'll break your false teeth , you know there's a crack in

them already , " Brownie sqeezed George's knee .

"Cheer up , Jaswinder must be alive , otherwise he wouldn't carry on

asking for money , " Brownie unpeeled another banana for herself .

"I hope you're right , she could be dead , " George was staring at a

puddle .

Brownie turned to look George in the eye , " but you don't mean he'd kill

her then carry on asking for money ? "

"I hope I'm wrong , but we cann't be sure , if only we could see her ,

then it'd be some relief , " George took his teeth out and began to suck

the banana from them .

"The evil bastard , if I catch him , I'll kill him myself , " Brownie

pulled her collar up , she felt cold .

At the other side of the park , a happy family was enjoying a

stroll in the sunshine , a man , a woman and their daughter . The daughter

was skipping , she seemed to be enjoying herself . George put his teeth

back in and burped , bananas always made him burp .

"It's nice to see people enjoy themself , make the most of the sunshine ,

that's what I say . "

Brownie was looking at the couple too , " her baby must be due very soon

judging by her size . "

"I haddn't noticed ,oh you are right now that we can see her sideways on,

their daughter is a lover too , what with her pigtails bouncing in the

wind , she's got a nice smile too , " George was screwing up his eyes to

see better , it was hard to see as the sun was in his eyes .

Brownie did not answer , she was looking at the couple's daughter , the

skipping daughter with the pigtails .

"Yes , look at her skip , she's so happy , its nice to see happy children

, its cheers me up , " George looked at Brownie .

"She's an Indian , and her parents are white , " Brownie wanted to say

more .

"Oh , I think you are right , perhaps she's a friends child and they are

baby sitting , do you want this last banana , its a shame to waste it . "

"She looks familiar , " Brownie began to stand .

"Yes you may be right , these bananas are very good , " mumbled George .

Brownie was on her feet now , "Its Jaswinder ! "

"Don't upset yourself , she does look a bit like her , but they are far

away , here I've saved you a bit of banana , " George held out the last

portion of banana .

Brownie knocked the banana from his hand , " I tell you it is her ! "

George looked at the girl covering his eyes with his hand , " I'm not too

sure . "

"It's her I tell you , " Brownie sounded excited .

"They are coming this way we'll soon see , " George sounded aprehensive .

"Its her , I'm certain , " Brownie was defiant .

"Look sit down , " George pulled at Brownie's elbow .

Together they watched as the couple came nearer , and nearer , and nearer.

"You're right ! " George sounded relieved , Jaswinder was alive !

"What are we going to do ? " Brownie sounded worried now .

"We could grab her and make a run for it , " George sounded just like the

old soldier he was .

"No , we're too old , we'll follow just like Patrick and Amjit do , "

caution Brownie .

"What if Jaswinder recognises us , we could put her in danger , " George

was worried now , were they putting Jaswinder's life in danger .

"It's too late to make a run for it , quick kiss me . "

"What ? " George was amazed .

He was even more amazed when without further ado Brownie lunged for him ,

she kissed him as if he was the first man she'd ever loved , ever kissed ,

she kissed him just as Maureen O'Hara had kissed John Wayne in The Quiet

Man the night before on telly . Jaswinder came skipping by , the couple

followed , they laughed when they saw George and Brownie kissing .

"Do you think we'll be like that at their age , Martin ? "

"I hope so Sue , I hope so Sue . "

Brownie kissed George for all she worth till the couple had gone out of

earshot .

"I told you it was her , " Brownie was triumphant .

"It's her , she's alive , " George mumbled , still recovering form

Brownie's battering .

"Come on , we'll follow them , " George leap up from the seat , only to

slip on the banana skin Brownie had knocked from his hand .

"Sorry I kissed you , only I had to do something , otherwise they'd see

our faces , " Brownie blushed slightly .

"Just warn me next time , " replied George beginning to blush .

They tried the best they could to keep up , but they were old , even a

heavily pregnant woman could walk faster than them . Martin and Sue with

the skipping Jaswinder were getting further and further away .

"Go ahead George , my veins are slowing down , just go ahead , " urged

Brownie and she slumpt down on a bench .

So George hurried after the kidnappers , he made up some of the distance ,

but though no longer slowed by Brownie's varicose veins he still had no

hope of catching up , he was too old , too old to go racing after people

almost fifty years younger than him . Huffing and puffing George could

hear the squeel of tyres and the smoke from the exhaust , he'd lost them .

George was still cursing when Brownie came up behind him , she took his

hand and squeezed it .

"At least we know she's alive and skipping , its a great relief after

all , " Brownie knew she had to cheer her George up .

"I just feel so useless , I'm old and useless now , a few years ago I

could walk , I used to be a good walker , now I'm good for nothing , "

George kicked at an old cola can .

"No your not , we did our bit , come lets get back to the street ,

Balbinder will be pleased to know Jaswinder is ok , " Brownie kissed her

George again , just as she had on the park bench , he was good enough for

her , all she had to do was make him believe in himself again .

So the pair left the O'Toole park , if they caught a bus

straight into town and caught another back out again they'd be on the

street within an hour . They arrived at the bus stop just as the bus

arrived , their luck was in , only it wasn't after two stops the bus broke

down . George held the rail on the seat in front , he squeezed it hard ,

he wanted to scream .

"Let's get off , there's a taxi place half a mile up the road , " urged

Brownie , they couldn't just sit there the sooner they got back to the

street the sooner Balbinder would know her child was alive .

So they got off and started to walk the half mile to the taxi place , it

was all uphill and at their age it was as if they were walking in thick

snow . Behind them the passengers had got off the bus , all cursing their

luck . George glanced back at the passengers , then out of the corner of

his eye he saw something .

"Quick take your scarf off and wave it , " commanded George .

As quick as a flash Brownie did as she was told , Percy slowed and

stopped .

"I'd ever thought I'd be glad to see a hearse , " began George .

"Quick take us home , we've seen Jaswinder , she's alive and skipping ,"

gushed Brownie .

"Thank God , I hope you'll excuse my passenger , " Percy motioned to the

coffin in the back .

With that Percy was off , his tires squeeling , the passengers from the

bus were left to scratch their heads , a funny kind of taxi a hearse .

On the way Brownie explained how they'd ended up at O'Toole park

only to find Jaswinder skipping towards them . Percy left George and

Brownie out at Amjit's store , he had to attend to the corpse . Brownie

bounced through Amjit's shop's door a spring in her step , she was about

to blurt out the news when she saw some customers . For what seemed a

lifetime she held her tongue , when the customers had gone , the damn

burst .

"We've seen Jaswwinder , she's alive and skipping . We were in O'Toole

park , its not really a park just a bit of boggy ground with the old back

gardens of knocked houses added on to form a kind of park , anyway we were

sitting on a bench eating your bananas when who should we see but

Jaswinder skipping with her pigtails bouncing about . "

"And we know the names of the kidnappers , the man who wears the duffle

coat is called Martin , he's got ginger hair , the girl is called Sue ,

they saw us kissing you see , " George stopped he felt embarrassed .

"I thought they'd recognise us from being on the bus the other night , or

that Jaswinder would say something , she could have been in danger . So I

kissed George for all I was worth , Jaswinder's safety demanded it , "

explained Brownie .

Amjit laughed , it'd been the first time he'd laughed since Jaswinder had

been taken from him , Patrick laughed too . Balbinder came out from the

back , what was this laughter she was hearing . Amjit explained in Indian.

"Is it true , is it really true ? " Balbinder scoured Brownie's and

George's faces for confirmation .

"Yes ! " Brownie smiled .

Balbinder kissed Brownie's hand , Brownie hugged Balbinder , "Hey be

happy , keep your pecker up chuck , everything will be ok , " cooed

Brownie .

Balbinder went in the back to tell her inlaws , a cheer went up , though

it still sounded like a sigh . Balbinder came back out , she hugged

Brownie by way of thanks , then she kissed Amjit , the first time ever

she'd kissed him in public .

They all stood around , a glow of relief about them , Jaswinder

was alive that was something , but why were this Martin and his girl in

O'Toole park ?

"He was looking in the waste bins too , he smiled to himself as if he knew

a secret , well it seemed like that , " Brownie said , not wanting to seem

stupid .

"Looking at waste bins , it could be that , " Patrick paused , his heart

was beating faster , he was afraid to say the words .

"Could be what ? " Amjit's eyes were pleading , he knew what Patrick would

say only he wanted Patrcik to say it first .

"He's planning the next drop off , he'll tell us to leave the money in the

park , " Patrick spoke slowly .

"Yes that's it , of course it is , it must be , " Brownie sounded excited.

"Do you think so ? " Amjit felt uncertain now .

"I'd place a bet on it , " said George slapping his hand on the counter .

"It must be the park , " pronounced Patrick .

Amjit looked at them in turn , then he spoke , "I was too afraid to say

it , I don't know what to say , its just , " Amjit's words drifted into

nothingness , he was afraid to hope .

Patrick looked at his friend , Amjit looked so weak the sparkle had gone

from his eyes , if only his mother was here she'd know what to say , she'd

soon have Amjit smiling again . Only she wasn't there , Patrick would have

to do the best he could .

"Look , it MUST be the park , we've got the advantage now , we're ahead of

the little bastard . We'll set a trap , the whole street will help , when

he calls next we'll all be ready and waiting in the park , so when he goes

to collect the money we'll grap Jaswinder back . And if she's not with him

we'll follow , Jaswinder will be back with us , soon very soon , "

Patrick spoke the words as his mother would have , full of fire and hope ,

where this hope came from only God knew .

"Yes , we can set a trap , just like we did for the Gerries in the war , "

George felt young again , he felt useful .

"Yes , we'll get him this time , " Brownie joined in to form a chorus ,

Amjit needed fire in his belly , she'd do her bit just like her George .

"Are you really sure ? " Amjit looked at their faces one by one .

"Mark my words , its the park , " Patrick placed his hands on Amjit's

shoulders , "listen my friend , Jaswinder will be home , she'll be able to

see my daughter , everything will be ok . "

Amjit smiled weakly , a faint , a dim sparkle returned to his eyes .

"But what are we going to do ? " asked Brownie .

"First you and George go and tell everybody to be ready , everybody to be

at the park by nine tomorrow morning . You two know the layout so talk to

them all , everybody to hide , then if we see Jaswinder we'll all jump

him , if he's on his own then we'll follow , " Patrick sounded excited ,

and he was Jaswinder would be free , Jaswinder would be free .

So George and Brownie went from shop to shop , a spring in their

step , hope in their hearts . Jaswinder would be free , Jaswinder would be

free , they had the initiative now . Jimmy came in Amjit's shop , his head

bowed , he didn't want to look Amjit or Patrick in the eye .

"George and Brownie told me the good news , only its not good news , you

see I know this Martin , " Jimmy looked them in the eye for a second .

"What , but how , " Patrick couldn't understand .

"He's a friend of my son Danny , he's a drugs user and pusher , I told him

that if he ever came near my son I'd kill him , " Jimmy stared at his

feet .

"It's not your fault , Jimmy , " Amjit said the words but in his heart he

felt hate .

"He won't give Jaswinder any drugs if that's what you are thinking , he's

too mean to do that , he's always on the scrounge , a born loser , "

continued Jimmy as if reading Amjit's mind .

"But Danny might know where he lives " Patrick said .

"He's in Israel , remember , I sent him there so this Martin wouldn't have

any influence over him , " explained Jimmy still looking at his feet .

"Well ring him up , the phone's there , " Patrick passed the phone to

Jimmy .

So Jimmy rung Israel , speaking in Yiddish he asked to speak to his son ,

only he wasn't there , Jimmy slowly put the receiver down .

"He's gone camping with this girl he met , he won't be back for a week , I

told them to get him to ring as soon as he came back , " Jimmy spoke

slowly , he felt so guilty , the sins of the son visited on the father .

"You did your best , you'll be there tomorrow when we spring the trap

won't you ? " asked Amjit mellowing slightly .

"Of course , I'm just so sorry , that's all , " Jimmy started to leave ,

still looking at his feet .

Patrick shouted after him , "this is just between the three of us , Martin

is an evil bastard , him knowing your son doesn't count . "

"Yes , sure , anything you say , " mumbled Jimmy with a heavy heart .

"We play dominoes in the evening , if you're not busy then come along , "

ventured Amjit .

Jimmy turned and looked Amjit in the eye , "thanks , I'd like that . "

When Jimmy had left the shop Patrick spoke , " you amaze me sometimes . "

"There's too much pain already , why make him suffer ? " said Amjit

shrugging his shoulders .

In the evening Barry arrived , with a tap to the left and a tap

to the right , Amjit had the coffee and samosas ready .

"Sorry I didn't turn up last time , only I got a chance to see the

football , so I went along to the match , " explained Barry .

Patrick and Amjit shook their heads , hadn't they lost Martin in the

crowds at the same match .

"I nearly didn't make it though , some pratt ran right into me , he sent

me flying . A pratt in a duffle coat it was , his face was as red as his

hair he was really running fast , " continued Barry .

Patrick groaned , Amjit looked to the ceiling and sighed , it was worse

than being teased . Jimmy came in to join the game .

"This is Barry , he's our dominoes coach , " said Patrick motioning to

Barry .

"Hello , and who are you ? " smiled Barry , turning towards the sound of

Jimmy's footsteps .

"I'm Jimmy , from the jewlers , " said Jimmy holding out his hand .

He put his hand down when Barry didn't take it , it was only then that he

noticed the white stick resting against the counter .

"Can you put the mirror in postion for me , but a bit more to the right

this time , " asked Barry .

"Sure , " so Patrick put the mirror in position , so Barry could cheat .

"Its the only way I can get a fair game , " explained Barry , turning to

Jimmy .

"Er , yes , " mumbled Jimmy .

"We'd win otherwise , " explained Patrick .

Barry began to laugh ,Patrick and Amjit joined in , Jimmy thought they'd

been drinking , but he found himself laughing too .

"I'd love to see your face , you must have thought we were bonkers , "

laughed Barry .

Jimmy laughed even more , his guilt over Martin soon lifted . So the four

played dominoes . It was strange how a simple game gave so much pleasure ,

as if they had returned to childhood , returned to innocence with not a

care in the world . Amjit found himself crying , not for sorrow ,

Jaswinder would be found tomorrow so his tears weren't for sorrow . Jimmy

shed a tear too , tears of relief , Amjit had forgiven him , with a look

over the dominoes Amjit had forgiven him . Forgiveness was such a relief ,

they were free to be children , free to play their dominoes . Patrick

could sense the relief , he wanted to say something but couldn't think of

the words , he knew his mother must be praying hard .

His mother was praying hard , she had the book of the saints out

in front of her . One by one she asked them to do their bit , one by one

they were recruited to her cause , one by one the prayers were said , one

by one they were egged on , one by one they were encouraged to find

Jaswinder . All the time she had Mother Theresa's photo in front of her ,

from a mother to a mother she spoke , a mother's tears she shed , she

pronounced her faith , she pronounced her hope . Now was the time to set

things right , now was the time to banish the night , now was the time to

open the door , now was the time to prove her right , now was the time to

set wrongs right , now was the time for a child to be free , now was the

time she asked , she begged on bended knee , just set Jaswinder free .

The next morning came , bright and blue , just a faint dark

cloud on the horizon , but every cloud has a silver lining , this morning

they were sure of that . Amjit was nervous , he was pacing backwards and

forwards in front of the counter .

"Are you sure it'll be O'Toole park ? " Amjit sounded like a child asking

would Santa really come .

"Trust me , my mother said she was certain it'd be the park when I told

her the news , " Patrick tried to sound like a father to a son .

"You are sure ? " Amjit again sounded like a child wanting proof that

Santa would really come .

"Yes , I'm sure , " and Patrick was .

But still Amjit paced , he flexed , he was like a swimmer waiting for the

starting gun , like a diver waiting to leap off the high board . They'd

exchange smiles , Patrick certain , Amjit slightly afraid , afraid for

his child's sake . Patrick was like a parent sitting by a child's bed ,

just until it slept , then the ghosts couldn't get the child . The phone

rang , Amjit leapt for it , only Patrick's hand was clampt over it .

"Just act dumb , remember you don't know its going to be the park , just

act dumb , " Patrick then took his hand off the phone .

"Hello , " Amjit forced himself to breath slowly .

"It's me , I think you can afford more . "

"How much ? "

"œ3000 , that's how much . "

Amjit mouthed the figure to Patrick .

"Thats a lot . "

"Do you wogs put a price on your children , isn't she worth it ? "

"Of course she is , and more . "

"More , in that case I want œ5000 . "

Amjit closed his eyes and bit his lip , he sighed .

"Ok , ok , just give me back my baby . "

"Deliver it to O'Toole park , over Hemford way . Put it in the waste bin

near the swings , " ordered Martin .

"Where's that ? "

"You have an A to Z , use it , or don't you want your daughter back ? "

Amjit didn't know what to say , he didn't want to argue , he just wanted

his little girl back .

"Are you still there ? "

"Yes , I just feel ill . "

"So long as the money is there by 1PM . "

"Ok . "

"And remember no Police . "

"Can I speak to my daughter ? "

"NO , she'd asleep , she wore herself out yesterday in the park . "

"When do I get her back ? "

"When I see the money , you'll see your daughter . "

The phone went dead , slowly Amjit replaced the receiver .

"Well ? " asked Patrick .

"It's the park alright , he wants œ5000 this time , he told me to leave it

in the waste bin by the swings . Patrick , I'm afraid . "

"Then we'll have him and Jaswinder ! " Patrick sounded triumphant .

"It just doesn't feel right Patrick , perhaps we should let him have the

money , " Amjit was uncertain ,.

"We cann't trust a man who steals a child , Jimmy told us what he's like ,

we have to go on , " Patrick wished he could say more , but he couldn't .

Michael came in with a large envelope , he handed it to Amjit .

"We had a whip round , so they'd be no delay , there's thousands in there,

just give him what he needs . I better be going to warn everybody , it is

the park isn't it ? "

"Yes , and thanks , " Amjit felt weak , weak and humbled .

"Go and tell Balbinder , then I'll drive you to the drop off point , "

said Patrick .

Balbinder hugged her husband , Amjit's parents said their prayers were

with him , without wasting any more time Amjit left the shop . Jaswinder

would be safe before the day was out .

At the park everybody had been in position for hours , all the

entrances and exits had been covered , they'd had plenty of time to get in

position , nothing could go wrong . Percy had parked his hearse at the

back of the park by a church , it used to be Anglican , now the Midlands

Orthodox church had taken it over . A hearse parked outside a church would

not arouse any suspicion , so Percy switched Radio Three on and settled

back to wait for any sign of Martin .

Frank had decided he'd get a good view of the park from the

local launderettes , so brought a bag of clean clothes with him , then he

washed them and washed them and washed them and washed them . He had an

unobstructed view of the park from where he sat , he'd not miss a thing .

A few doors up the road from the launderettes was a garage and

car park , Jimmy had decided he'd wait there . He just walked up to the

attendant and said he'd be using the car wash all that morning , he then

slapped œ50 on the counter saying he was selling his car to a very fussy

person . The attendent didn't care she was busy reading a book on Irish

History for her Degree course , he could bath in it for all she cared ,

she just wanted some peace to read her history book . So Jimmy sat in the

car wash and waited , and waited and waited .

Ann and Mary from the clothes shop were also at the park along

with Annie and Betty from the Trader , the four of them had decided that

they'd walk around and around the path that bordered the park ,

occasionally they'd stop and talk as if they'd bumpt into each other .They

also decided that a change of clothing would help disguise their

identities , so Ann and Mary wore the latest reversible coats , after two

laps of the park the pair would duck into some hedges and reverse their

coats . To a casual viewer they were now two different people , as for

Betty and Annie they had brought some of their props along too , they

followed the same procedure , a few laps of the park then a dive into the

bushes to change clothes . It would have been fun if it were a first night

of a farce , but this was no farce , it was deadly earnest .

George and Brownie were on the same bench as before , again

Brownie smothered George with kisses every time a child appeared on the

horizon , just in case it was Jaswinder , she had to be within grabbing

distance , so Brownie took no chances , she smothered George in kisses .

Betty and Annie smiled when they saw how Brownie was over reacting , but

they were doing their bit . Michael had come on ahead and hooted his horn

as a signal , it was the park , be ready for action . Big Sid had insisted

that he should be there , only he couldn't find anywhere to hide , he was

just too big , too big by half . So Sid took a desparate step , he hide in

a pile of manure which was going to be spread over the bushes and plants ,

when the workmen got around to it .

Everybody had been ready for hours , they all held their breath,

they watched as Amjit walked into the park and placed an envelope in the

waste bin by the swings . Amjit walked back to Patrick's car , Brownie

winked as he past by . Once in Patrick's car he crouched down so he'd not

be seen , as for Patrick he had a hat on and was reading a news paper , he

had the radio on loud too , nobody would suspect somebody making so much

noise , well that was Patrick's theory anyway .

The girls walked round and round , round and round the garden

like a teddy bear , one step two step , and let the kidnapper beware . The

one grey cloud from the morning had now mustered its troops , the greys

had now turned to black , it started to rain , a storm was about to break.

Percy held his breath as a man in a duffle coat walked by , it must be the

kidnapper , it had to be , whoever it was he was whistling , he was happy.

The girls spotted the man , it must be him , they hated him ,

they twitched their fingers , if only their nails were flick knives . A

ripple of hate went over their wombs , that was the bastard for sure .

"It's him , " whispered Brownie .

"Quick give me a banana , " urged George .

"You don't thing I should kiss you , " asked Bronie as she handed George a

banana .

"No , well , just wait till he gets close , I suppose we have to appear

the same as yesterday , " George unzipped his banana .

Behind them from another direction a tramp , a drunken tramp was

staggering along the path , there was a dossers' shelter the other side of

the park , he was on his way home . George was on his second banana when

Brownie saw the tramp .

"Oh no , the tramp's looking in the bins , " Brownie closed her eyes .

"He won't look in all of them , they never do , " soothed George .

"Shall we warn him off , or should we give him money , " Browmie didn't

know what to do .

"He'll only swear at us and do the opposite , " George took his teeth out

some banana had got stook behind his top set .

The tramp continued with his browsing in the bins , he walked past George

and Brownie , he staggered to the next bin but decided to ignore it .

"See I told you he'd not look in them all , " said George as he put his

teeth back in .

A rumble of thunder echoed over the park , the tramp hurried on , he was

heading straight for the bin by the swings . George closed his eyes , the

flash of lightning siloetted the tramp putting an envelope in his pocket.

The tramp left the path and went over the grass , the quick way to the

doss house .

Martin had been making sure nobody would spot him , he'd been

pretending to do sit ups and pull ups on the exercise trail which followed

the path around the park . Now with the second flash of thunder he decided

he didn't want to get wet , all he wanted was his money . So he began to

sprint , like a hare out of the trap , straight for the bin by the swings.

To the sound of thunder Martin emptied the bin , he shook it , he kicked

it , he picked it up and threw it into the bushes . There was no money ,

he'd been cheated , he raced back the way he'd come . The hare caught in

the photo finish of lightning , the rain came down , the rain came down .

George and Brownie closed their eyes , it was all their fault , it was all

their fault .

"Quick get on the bench and wave your scarf , " urged George .

Leaning on George for support Brownie took off her scarf and waved it for

all she was worth .

"Catch him , catch him ," yelled Brownie .

Big Sid awoke from his slumbers , the weight of manure had made

him fall asleep , rising like Frankenstein he lumbered in the direction

Brownie was pointing . He bumpt into a vandal pulling sapplings down , the

same vandal who'd pestered Henry with litter , the kid fainted with shock.

Big Sid ran for all he was worth , the manure falling off him , the

thunder roared and the lightning flashed , Big Sid had risen from the dead

to help catch a kidnapper .

Annie and Betty lifted up their skirts to run , dressed as nuns

they raced to the back of the park , George and Brownie went to the street

side , again Brownie waved her scarf , catch the kidnapper , catch the

kidnapper .

Percy started his hearse , he waited for Martin to get ahead ,

he didn't want to give the game away , he started to pull out . A lorry

carrying hundred weight sacks of cement arrived , it blocked his way ,

what Percy didn't know was that the Orthodox church had moved on , now the

former Anglican church was used as a builders yard . Betty and Annie

appeared in their black stockings with their skirts hitched up , Percy

pointed and the girls raced off around the corner after Martin .

The girls could see him get in a car and drive off , the rain

was really heavy , their costumes were weighting them down .

"Quick through the park again , he's got to get to the main road , "

yelled Annie .

Again the girls dashed though the park , nuns showing their knickers as

they ran . The vandal had awoke by now , he smiled it was better than a

dream , two nuns in black stockings running towards him . As he smiled he

reached out to touch them , only Annie wasn't having any of this , so she

kicked him hard in the nuts , and so did Betty . Jaswinder's life was at

stake , so they gave the smiling pervert what he deserved .

Frank had seen Brownie waving her scarf , so he dashed out the

launderette , his van keys at the ready , there was a car speeding by with

a man in it , he was wearing a duffle coat .

"You've forgotten your jeans mister , " an old lady said grabbing him by

the arm , she wouldn't let go .

Annie and Betty came running out the park towards the car wash , Jimmy

pushed open a passenger door so they could jump in , he turned the

ignition . Only the car wouldn't start , all morning in a car wash had

drowned the engine , Jimmmy swore , the two nuns swore .

Amjit and Patrick were about to leave the car park when the

first of ten tinkers caravans arrived , O'Toole park was like a second

home to them , they felt safe there . Amjit cursed , Patrick cursed under

his breath , he knew it was never wise to upset a tinker . So it was left

to old Michael to follow , he'd had a bacon sandwich and a cup of tea

before going back into his taxi ; when he saw Bettie and Annie dressed as

naughty nuns he'd followed the dirty yellow Datson with the duffle coated

man , the kidnapper in .

The thunder roared , and roared and roared , the lion had escaped

the circus . The lightning flashed , flashed and flashed again , like

sparks from a devil's workshop . But the weather was nothing compared to

Martin's fury , he'd been tricked , he was angry , he'd have revenge . A

lifetime of driving allowed Michael to keep up , raw anger kept Martin in

the lead . The rain came down , the rain came down . A car came out of a

driveway , no indicator , no nothing , the usual bad driving , the Datsun

swerved to avoid it only to head straight for a lorry , the lorry swerved

too , only God or luck prevented a collision . The lorry went in a pothole

throwing up a fountain of water against the Datson , the Datson swerved

the other way , scraping against a parked ice cream van . Michael was

close behind , he braked , he swerved , he skidded , he stopped behind the

ice cream van with only inches to spare . Michael hurriedly moved off

again , the rain had now washed the dirt from the Datson , the number

plate was clear . If only he could read it , Percy had said he had friends

who could trace it for him .Up ahead the Datson had another close shave ,

with a dustcart this time , Michael struggled to overtake a bus , finally

he did . He'd lost the Datson , he'd stick to the main road , what was

that up ahead , it was the Datson . Michael bobbed and wheaved , bobbed

and wheaved till he was right behind , so he could at least get the

registration . A set of traffic lights were up ahead , if only they'd turn

to red , they did . But the Datson shot through them , Michael had to wait

till they changed , it took him three minutes to catch up again . Michael

closed in , he could read the registration now . Michael then noticed that

the man was not wearing a duffle coat , in fact he was wearing a collar

and tie , or rather a collar . It was a vicar . Michael cursed like he'd

cursed in the army , only the rumble of thunder drowned his curses , the

vicar ahead could lip read though . So he gave Michael a severe look and

in return Michael gave him two fingers . The traffic lights changed ,

Michael turned the corner and parked .

"Shit , shit , shit , " swore Michael .

A policeman on point duty came over to Michael's taxi to investigate .

"Anything the matter , Sir ? "

"No , its my darts team , we lost , " lied Michael pointing to the radio

which was switched off .

"If that's all I'll get back to directing traffic , but do drive carefully

in all this rain , " the P.C. saluted and went back to his position in the

middle of the road .

Back on the street everybody had gathered in Mark's cafe , they

sat hunched over their teas , stiring and stiring , as if the tea could

become an Oracle , as if by looking at the tea Jaswinder's fate would be

revealed , things looked bleak . Nobody dared look another in the face ,

they all felt guilty , each felt that it was their fault and their fault

alone that Jaswinder wasn't free because they had failed to follow the

kidnapper . So there they all sat hunched over their teas all hoping and

praying that the tea would turn into an Oracle and reveal Jaswinder's

whereabouts .

Patrick spoke first , though his voice sounded like laughter at a funeral

all everybody wanted to do was stare at their tea , as they stired and

stired and stired .

"It was all planned , and still the bastard got away , " Patrick finished

off his third tea , hoping it'd wash away the bad taste in his mouth .

Gillian came an gave Patrick a refill , she stroked his hair , hoping to

comfort him .

"And he didn't get his money , " added Amjit looking up from his tea , he

bit his lip ,

Gillian squeezed his shoulder as she poured him another tea , it was all

she could do , but what more could she do , if there was more she'd do it.

"I should have realised my car would stall , hours in the car wash , it

was inevitable , I'm a fool , its all my fault , " Jimmy banged the table

he was thinking about the part his son had played in all this , the sins

of the son had been visited on the father .

"Its our fault , we were stupid to dress up as nuns , its our fault , "

began Annie .

"We should have know better , " said Betty barely able to hold back the

tears .

"It was so terrible , the church had been deconsecrated years ago , it was

a builder's yard , not a church , I could have put her life in danger ,

its my fault , " sighed Percy as he stired his tea .

"We should have stopped the tramp , we could of , we could have given him

a few bob , or struck up a conversation with him , but we didn't so he got

to the waste bin first , its our fault ," said George .

" He looked angry when he didn't get his money , " added Brownie .

Amjit felt a shiver go down his spine , he looked about for reassurance ,

he was like a frightened child .

"Next time he rings you'll have to tell him that anybody could have taken

it , " said Sid .

"I'll have to tell the truth , that we set a trap , " Amjit spoke slowly.

Everybody looked at each other , was Amjit suggesting treason , or what ?

It was left to Patrick to urge caution , "do you think that's wise ? "

"We have to , for Jaswinder's sake , " Amjit stired his tea for the

thousandth time .

"Just , just say you waited , hoping to catch a glimpse of Jaswinder ,

don't tell him about the rest of us , " advised Big Sid .

"Yes that's right , if you must tell the truth then tell just part of it ,

be economical with the truth as they say in Politics , " said Patrick

trying to sound his most persuasive .

"He's right , be economical with the truth as Judges say , " Percy was

sounding more like his old self now .

"I don't know , " Amjit looked at their faces one by one , he felt like a

schoolboy who was going to twit on his pals , but he had to , didn't he ?

"Do what you think best and we will all support you , " Big Sid sounded

like a father .

Amjit closed his eyes and gulped , " thanks , thanks all of you . "

"I think you should have a bath now , Sid , it was a great disguise at the

time but now go and wash it off , " said Patrick hoping to lighten

everybodys' mood .

"Ok , I'm going , I know when I'm not wanted , " nodding to Amjit Sid left

the cafe .

Gillian sprayed the air freshner after him , everybody smiled , but still

they stired their teas .

They all remained where they were , nobody wanted to make a

move , it would be like rushing away from a graveside to go off to a

party , so they stired their teas and consulted the Oracle hoping for an

answer , so long as it wasn't the one they feared most . The chugg of

Michael's taxi could be heard , then with one spit then another they heard

Michael open the cafe door .

"Sorry I got delayed , " explained as he cleared his throat and spat in

his handerchief .

"Here get this down you , " said Mark handing Michael a mug of steaming

tea .

"Ah , that's better , have you got something to perk it up a bit ? "

Mark reached under the counter and put some Calvadose in Michael's tea .

"Thanks , my chest is playing up in all this damp and rain , " Michael

again spat in his handkerchief .

"None of us had any luck , " explained Percy .

"I did , I followed his car , " Michael said before having another

reviving sip from his fortified tea .

"Great ! " shouted Patrick .

Every face shone with hope , everybody stopped stiring their tea , as if a

surge of electricity had gone through them , bringing them all to

attention .

Michael put down his tea , " I almost had him , he was driving like a

maniac , it was hard but I managed to keep up . His car was so dirty , but

what with all the rain it was as if it was in a carwash , " Jimmy closed

his eyes , Michael continued , " I tried to read the number plate as the

rain washed the dirt from it , only when he nearly crashed I got

distracted , I nearly went into something myself . Anyway I lost him , but

I stayed with the main road hoping to catch up . I thought I had caught up

when I saw a yellow Datsun ahead , only it wasn't him , it was a vicar . "

"At least you tried , if only we could get the number plate , then we'd

have him , I have friends , " sighed Percy .

"But we cann't go to the Police , " Amjit didn't understand .

"Just trust me , if we get the number plate then we can trace him , the

Police will have nothing to do with it ,I have friends ," Percy touched

his nose .

"I just hope he's not angry about the money , " Amjit looked like a

child asking his mother would his dad beat him for being naughty .

"Everything will be ok , chuck , " said Brownie giving Amjit a hug .

When Martin got home he was fuming , he was wet , his car was

damaged and he hadn't got the money , not a penny .

"Where is she ? " snapped Martin .

"In the bedroom , " answered Sue , she was frightened .

Martin stormed into the bedroom pulling his wet coat off , Jaswinder was

playing , bouncing on the bed .

"You look like Yorzal Gummidge ," she giggled .

Martin replied by slapping her face , "your daddy doesn't love you , he

didn't even bother leaving any money , your daddy doesn't love you . "

Again he slapped Jaswinder , Sue hurried to intervene , to place her fat ,

her pregnant body between Martin and Jaswinder .

"You'll kill her , you'll kill her , leave her alone , " screamed Sue .

Sue got hit instead , Jaswinder hid under the bed , all she could see was

the struggling feet of Martin and Sue . After a while Martin stopped , he

just reached for a handful of pills , of drugs , he'd rest then he'd plan

his revenge . Sue grabbed Jaswinder and stuffed her in the cupboard out of

harms way , as for Martin he lay on the bed and dreamed .

Hours later Martin had a plan formed , he'd have his revenge ,

he'd make Amjit pay . Grabbing the kitchen knife he made Sue give him the

key to the cupboard , Sue knew she couldn't stop him , her lip was split

already , she closed her eyes , so long as it was over quickly .

"I'll show them , and I'll still get money too ! " Martin was smiling .

As he opened the cupboard with the knife raised Sue fainted , now at least

she wouldn't be a witness , only Martin was to blame .

Big Sid had gone home to have a bath , then a shower , then

another bath , then another shower . Hours spent under the pile of manure

had left him stinking , Big Sid scrubbed and scrubbed till his skin was

raw . All the time he thought of Jaswinder , all alone , he thought of her

picture on the wall of his butchers , he thought of the space he'd

reserved for the photo of Patrick's new daughter Sheila . He thought of

the past , the first photo on his butcher's wall all those years ago ,

he'd seen the babies grow up till their own babies's photos were on his

wall , he even had one granddaughter on his wall . It was all so nice , so

innocent , so peaceful . Only now one of those photos , one of those flesh

and blood photos was in danger , his Indian Princess was in danger . And

it was all his fault , it was all his fault ,if only he hadn't fallen

asleep under the pile of manure . It was all his fault , he thought of the

past all the laughs he'd had with his "girls" in his shop , the photos of

their daughters and sons on his wall . But what of the future ? Big Sid

turned the hot tap on again , he felt so cold . What of the future , what

of the future . The sound of the water over flowing onto the floor woke

Big Sid from his thoughts and fears .

But at least little Sheila was ok , Mathew was guarding her ,

the Gavin Twins were guarding her , she was safe , she had a future ,

there was a space on the wall for her photo . Sid got dressed , at least

she was ok , at least the little innocent Sheila was ok . Sid was worried

he'd just go and pay a visit ,it was about time he saw little baby Sheila,

a drive would do him good . Sitting at home he felt like a cow waiting his

turn at the slaughter house , yes he'd go and pay a visit on Mrs Murphy ,

he'd see the new baby , the new hope . It'd take his mind off Jaswinder ,

it'd help him stop feeling guilty , for falling asleep at the chosen hour.

Big Sid sighed , he had the window right down , the air was fresh,

it felt so good , a nice drive to see a new baby . The perfect end to a

day , Jaswinder would be ok , tomorrow was another day . Tonight he'd see

the new baby , he'd even get a photo off Mrs Murphy to put on his

butcher's wall . Big Sid felt better , new babies always made him feel

good , even now . Sid could see the Gavins' lorry parked down the road ,

so parking outside Mrs Murphy's he got out of his van and crossed over to

have a few words before he went to see the new baby .

"Hello lads , thanks for standing guard , " Big Sid sounded appologetic as

if he was thanking them for doing something they hated .

"Its ok Sid , we don't mind its the least we can do , " said Luke .

"You've heard today's news ? " asked Big Sid .

"No , what's up ? " wondered John .

"We were all ready for him , the whole lot of us in O'Toole park , only he

didn't have Jaswinder with him , otherwise we'd have snatched her back ,

well the money was in a waste bin like he asked only a tramp came along

and took it . George and Brownie are killing themselves with guilt

because they didn't stop the tramp , but it was my fault as well , I fell

asleep while waiting for the kidnapper . "

"Don't blame yourself , Sid , " Mathew touched Sid's elbow .

"But it is my fault , " Sid looked at the ground .

"She'll be ok don't worry , look the light's gone on in Mrs Murphy's

bedroom she's blackmailing and bribing the saints as we speak , " Mark

pointed over Sid's shoulder .

Mrs Murphy began her prayers , if she could keep two set of

beads on the go at the same time she would have .

"Well lads , you know what I'm asking , and you know the Novena is nearing

its end so don't go letting me down , do you hear me ? Saint Mother

Theresa of Calcutta is joining you all on this one , well to be honest

she'll be leading you all , so don't let me down . Hail Mary full of

Grace The Lord is With You ... , " prayed Mrs Murphy .

"All we know is that he wears a duffle coat , we think he has a

pregnant girlfriend too , we aren't positive but we are very certain , he

was seen with Jaswinder and the pregnant girl you see , " explained Sid .

"Lord hear us , Lord save us , Lord protect us . And Mary if

you're listening as one mother to another can You use your weight , I know

you're very busy what with the state of the world and so on . I know I'm

rushing you , but didn't you do the same thing yourself at Caena . Ask Him

to show an interest , " Mrs Murphy was coming to an end of tonight's

prayers .

Luke Gavin looked up the road , he could hear footsteps , a man

and a woman were coming towards Mrs Murphy's house . The man was wearing a

duffle coat , the woman was fat , very fat , pregnant even .

"So all you know is that he wears a duffle coat and he has a pregnant

girlfriend , " repeated Mark Gavin .

John Gavin looked to see what Luke was looking at .

"Yes that's it a duffle coated man and a pregnant woman , " repeated Sid .

Mathew Gavin looked next , what were his brothers looking at .

The man in the duffle coat had his hand on Mrs Murphy's doorbell,

the bell sounded . Still holding baby Sheila in her hand June went to

answer the door , "I'll answer it Sheila , finish your prayers , " June

shouted up the stairs .

Sid spun around what were the Gavins looking at , again the door

bell rang , "I coming , " said June . Mrs Murphy blessed herself , her

prayers were over for another night .

"No , No , " screamed Sid .

The Gavins errupted like a volcano , it was the kidnapper , the wolf was

at the door . June juggled with baby Sheila as she struggled to undo all

the locks on the front door .

"No , No ! " screamed Sid , who was now running after the Gavin Twins .

Mrs Murphy looked startled , that was Sid's voice , she rushed to the

window . Why were the Gavins's running towards the house , she looked

down , on her doorstep she could see a duffle coated man .

"June don't open the door , " screamed Mrs Murphy wide eyes with terror ,

not for herself but for her grandchild and for June .

Mrs Murphy raced out of her bedroom , snatching at the dressing table as

she went .

"June don't answer the door , June don't answer the door . Mathew , Mathew

save us , Mathew , Mathew , save us . June don't answer the door , "

screamed Mrs Murphy as she ran along the landing

The Gavin Twins raced over the road ,no more the four evangelists , no ,

like the Four Horsemen of the Appocolipse they raced . The time had come ,

it was the kidnapper or baby Sheila , all or nothing .

"June don't answer the door ! , Mathew , Mathew , Mathew ! " screamed Mrs

Murphy as she turned the top of the landing and stood at the top of the

stairs .

Mathew was roused from his television watching , Mrs Murphy was screaming

, what was the matter .

"Mathew save June , save baby Sheila , " screamed Mrs Murphy .

June had the chain off the door was already opening , Mrs Murphy flew down

the stairs .

Mathew came running from the back , he had to save June and baby Sheila ,

just as he had in the church he had to save the baby , he had to save the

baby . The door opened wider .

Outside the Gavins still had yards to go , Sid was running after

them he could see the door opening , June was in the doorway she was

holding baby Sheila .

"No , No ! " screamed Sid as he raced faster , as fast as his bulk would

let him .

The Gavins charged , another pace or two and they'd dive .

"Mathew , Mathew ! " screamed Mrs Murphy as she came hurtling down the

last steps of the stairs , squeezing her rosary for all it was worth .

June looked outside , in terror she she saw a duffle coated man and a fat

woman , wasn't the kidnapper always in a duffle coat and didn't he have a

fat or even pregnat girlfriend .

The door was still opening wider , Mrs Murphy screamed again , Mathew was

right behind June and baby Sheila , but the kidnapper was right in front

and didn't he have something shiny in his hand .

June screamed , she clutched baby Sheila closer to her . Mrs Murphy

screamed , Mathew growled . Mathew reached to grab June away from the

door , Mrs Murphy was right behind Mathew .

"Jesus save us ! " screamed Mrs Murphy .

Big Sid could see all the photos falling from his shop wall , he could see

the shadow of a duffle coated man pass over his photo wall , down came the

photos down came Big Sid's family , down came his life . It was all over .

"No , no ! , " Sid screamed .

Like a roar of thunder Sid screamed , the Gavin Twins leaped , it was now

or never , but what was that flashing in the kidnappers hand .

"No , no ! " screamed Bid Sid .

Big Sid thought he'd have a heart attack , his heart was beating in his

ears , he could hear the thump the thump the thump of his heart . He could

feel the tapping of his meat cleaver in his apron pocket .

"No ! " screamed Big Sid .

"Jesus ! Mother Theresa ! " screamed Mrs Murphy .

Mrs Murphy was at June's elbow , Mathew had both hands out as he leapt at

June and baby Sheila . The Gavins leap as one , June closed her eyes .

Big Sid leapt into the air ,"No!" his full eighteen stone was behind it as

he threw his cleaver . He could see the kidnapper still moving forward ,

with something flashing in his hand . Sid'd cleaver spung through the air

light a bolt of lightning , handle blade ,handle blade ,handle blade ,

handle blade , handle blade . His cleaver was faster than the diving

Gavins , faster than the kidnapper . Blade handle , blade handle , blade

handle , handle duffle coat blade door . Sid's cleaver had pinned the

kidnapper to the door by the hood of his coat . In the split second that

the kidnapper noticed the blade he was swept to the ground , four Gavins

on his chest . Mathew had come running out from the back of the house ,

like a spinning top he'd picked up June and threw her onto the settee in

the front room . Mrs Murphy shot out the front door , leaping over the

fallen kidnapper . Her rosary in one hand , the borrowed meat cleaver in

the other Mrs Murphy grabbed the woman by the throat .

"Come on you old whore , where is she , " she screamed like a banshee .

Sid loomed up at the front gate to emphasise the point . The pregnant

girl was too shocked to speak , and she couldn't anyway as Mrs Murphy was

strangling her . The Gavins pulled the kidnapper up , ready to draw and

quarter him with their bare hands . Sid reached up and pulled his cleaver

from the door , the hood fell to the ground .

"This is the last time I'll ask , where is she ? " Sid put his cleaver to

Martin's throat .

Martin spoke , "but Sir we are from the Children Of God , we're looking

for converts , we only arrived yesterday from America "

"Yes thats right , " added Sue .

Sid looked at the floor , there was a rolled up leaflet , on shinning

silver paper . And they did have American accents .

Everybody was silent , June peered out of the front room from behind

Mathew . He'd been like a tornado , picking her up and setting her down in

safety .

"So you really are from America , " June edged forward holding her baby .

"Yes ! " replied Martin . Only he wasn't Martin and it wasn't Sue either.

Mrs Murphy lowered the cleaver that Sid had given her for protection , Sid

lowered his cleaver too . The Gavins dropped the man , Luke handed him the

hood from his duffle coat .

"We're good Catholics , we don't want Moonies in this country , do we ,

Mathew , Mark , Luke , John ? " smiled Mrs Murphy showing her rosary .

"Yes we are all Catholics , " smiled Sid .

"Fine , sure thing Sir , " said the man .

"Sorry for the misunderstanding , will you have a cup of tea ? " Mrs

Murphy was trying to make amends .

The man looked at her disbelievingly , a mad woman with a rosary and a

cleaver was inviting them in for tea , and her husband and five deranged

sons were all smiling at them . Only the daughter looked sane , Duane

looked at Mary-Beth , then carefull he spoke .

"If you don't mind we have a plane to catch . "

So Duane and Mary-Beth went on their way , the Adams family

waving them goodbye .

"Sorry about that , its my fault , " said Sid .

"Its ok , come on in , we'll have some tea , " said Mrs Murphy as she put

the cleaver in the hallstand .

"We'll put up a new door , a metal door with a spy hole up afterwards , "

said Luke seeing the damage Sid's cleaver had done to the door .

Back on the street Amjit was feeling low , Patrick stood beside

him , he knew words were no use , so he just stood there , smiling every

time Amjit looked at him . Barry breezed in , his usual smile on his face,

how could he be happy when he couldn't see . Amjit said that he didn't

feel like dominoes and did Barry mind . Barry didn't , he could tell Amjit

was upset , words crawled from Amjit's mouth they didn't jump or leap or

bounce or even walk , they just crawled from Amjit's mouth and dropped on

the floor . Amjit said that he'd get the coffee and samosas , he'd just be

a minute , Patrick squeezed Barry's arm , Barry nodded , anybody could

tell Amjit was feeling low , you didn't need radio ears . When Amjit

returned Barry began telling blind jokes , like how he always used the

ladies toilets when he wanted a laugh ,to hear their screams was such fun.

The way they complained , then bent over backwards to appologise when they

realised he was blind , he'd made a few friends by using that trick .

Amjit laughed as Barry went into the detail , Barry was fun that was for

sure , he was so full of life , and he was blind while still young .

Barry spent the rest of the evening telling stories , how shopping for

clothes was fun too , he'd always ask people to tell him if a cerain

colour suited him and so on . Barry loved to catch security guards out too

if he was feeling down , they'd stop him for shop lifting , he'd say it

wasn't his fault , he couldn't very well see everything or anything in his

trolley for that matter , could he . Barry laughed a lot when he told that

one ,he had to make amusement for himself didn't he . He couldn't watch

the world go by could he , he couldn't watch the autumn leaves change

colour and finally fall . People didn't stop and chat at bus stops with

blind people , it was very lonely being in the dark all the time , so he

had to use tricks to get people to talk to him . If only people bothered

to think , then they'd talk to him and other blind people . Though some

people pretended they were blind , hiding behind newspapers on trains ,

avoiding eye contact ; but if they didn't have the choice , if they were

forever hid behind the newspaper , then they'd change , then they'd say a

few words . But Barry wasn't bitter , he'd had sight once , that was

better than being blind from the start . Amjit squeezed Barry's arm ,

Barry was so brave , and he didn't even know it . Barry told a final

story before going home , he told how sighted friends had said how pretty

this girl was . Barry only knew her by her perfume , so one day he

deliberately bumped into her , it was a way to strike up a conversation ,

so now the girl was a