Mcmananan: Menawhile at the bar a drunkard muses
Fri, 2006-01-27 11:49
#1
Mcmananan: Menawhile at the bar a drunkard muses
http://www.abctales.com/story/mcmanaman/meanwhile-at-the-bar-a-drunkard-...
I like the tone in this.
However, I cannot imagine what possible scenario could have prompted it its screation.
I enjoy the dodging taffic image.
Think that you have more unusual turns of phrase in you than 'let out sighs of relief' and
'I didn't feel sympathy'
Feel free to tel me to piss off.
Span
fergal
I liked the one you flagged - but I agree that it is not as original or unusual as the following, which well deserved a cherry for the last three lines alone:
http://www.abctales.com/story/mcmanaman/rogue
Brooklands
Agreed, Rogue is better and does have three killer last lines. More poems should end with the word Strasbourg.
Meanwhile... is a bit sloppy and somehow, it lacks the usual Macca charm, for me.
Joe
span
agreed.
Somehow I missed that wee one tucked away in the added list.
Ace,
Span
mcmanaman
These poems do kind of lack the basic rule i imposed on myself of 1 good idea per stanza, rather than 1 good idea per poem.
I'l see if I can make more charm for you spack, I'm sure i can spare some.
And I'm not going to tell you to piss of span, cos you make valid points. Thanks for the permission tho, I might save it up and use it some other time, when you least suspect it.
Thanks for commenting, and thanks for the cherry fergal!
Jack Cade
So... hang on. Spack made a grown woman cry and wrote a poem about it, and Mcmananan has documented the aftermath. I like 'Meanwhile...' when weighed against your other poems, John. It's the lack of your typical superdry one-liners that works for me - I expect you to be making jokes, but somehow they aren't quite that.
Nice to see you've done 'Rogue' already! We haven't even got Alarm out yet!