Thechessgame-piva

Yeah, it's a fun story, but it definitely ends just as it's getting started. The tension and then relief of Eddy considering cheating isn't enough to leave me satisfied. If the author wishes to expand the story, then some things I was thinking about just before I realized the story was over were: what did these people who came over sensing a scandal say or do? What did Eddy think when he was caught? If you really wanted the entire story to hinge on this one attempt at cheating then I suggest you allow Eddy to make the illegal move, then have the old man make it clear to Eddy that he wasn't sleeping and was aware that he just cheated. You can go wherever you want from there: uproar, a lecture from the man and eventual disqualification, the game could just continue with Eddy suffering mightily from his guilt, wondering how he would have felt if he didn't know the old man was aware of him cheating. The author has the opportunity to have a lot of fun!

Hey thanks for reading and leaving your comments :-) This was a piece of flash created for a contest limited to under 300 words, had to be short and sweet. Maybe I'll get round one day to extending it.