Sad Git At Large

I like this. My only suggestion would be that the last part of it isn't necessary for the integrity of the piece, and in some ways detracts from it. I felt the story/monologue could have stopped at one of two places, and would have been better either way. One was: 'I expect they’re still talking about it now.' and the other was, 'I decide to hold my thirst a little longer', with my preference being the first one. That being said, the paragraph about alienation which follows the latter sentence is brill and I understood the sentiment completely. Maybe you could take that part out and expand it in another piece?

Thanks for your comments - and for flagging it up, Jack. I take your points. It was, as I said, originally a personal diary entry - a bit of an 'I can't write anything, so let's write SOMETHING, ffs' piece. But I kept it intact when I sent it out - and I agree that it could still do with some work. You're right, Archergirl - that last bit is probably out of place. Having said that, though, the sense of alienation expressed at the end was something that was enforced by my visit. I did, literally, feel "I don't belong here, really - where DO I belong." Thanks again, folks.

| enjoyed it very much, too. Also think it maybe could have been split into two. Please don't feel alone!

I liked this a lot. It was well written. Like other comments above though I agree that it doesn't hang together in a sense. It works well as a monologue and then it becomes a story in the middle. You know that though. I agree with the sentiments but I use them in a different way. My stories are often about characters not fitting in, being on the fringe of everything, but somehow I always try to find a way for them it fit in. Think positive, stay positive! (As George Saunders might say).

Thanks, Drew. I had a downer on that day! The title was a tad ironic, though. Truth is, I like 'not fitting in' - and try not to to the best of my ability! That last section is honest, and I generally view that feeling as a positive - it's partly behind what makes me write. I'm also attracted to characters who are outsiders, freaks, oddballs and weirdos - the one's society doesn't accept. They, for me, are the interesting people.