Summit of the World

Again you've got the not making sense issue in verse. "We crawled and scraped our way to the peak five days had carried us more, than breath or strength could hold." 'more' doesn't work in line three, 'further' would be ok. 'hold' doesn't make sense, either maybe 'stand' or 'bear'? I quite like the rest of it, though. "My friend lay in a curl near my feet, and wrapped himself around our only air tank." I wouldn't have a line break after around unless you actually want the reader to pause there. I'd go for: "My friend lay in a curl near my feet and wrapped himself around our only air tank." I think this: "He sat and opened up to me blossom-like, the bare part,that part I never knew, revealed yellow photos recited hymns, begged." Reads better like this: "He sat and opened up to me blossom-like, the bare part, that part I never knew, revealed yellow photos recited hymns, begged." Don't know if that's exactly right but you should be able to work out where to end lines by reading it aloud. Not sure about the tense of 'knew'. Could be 'that part I'd never known'. "and so I sat and watched the western light tuck behind the hundred summit range, and I cried beneath the ageless stars, where, on Chomolungma, I let him live, and found a softer state." Also a tense question with 'tuck' here. It could be 'tucked' although 'tuck'could make sense too. It depends whether you're watching the light actively tucking itself behind the summit range or whether it's already tucked and you're just looking at it. Generally like this, though. It sets an interesting scene.