Can of Coke

Something really got on my tits the other day and I'd like to share it with everyone. I've got a little drinks-holder thing in the front of my car and I was bombing up the A24 towards London when, the road ahead looking pretty clear, I fancied that a little refreshment might be in order. While still keeping one eye on the road, I lifted a can of coke up to my lips and took a long, slow sip. Everything was fine up to this point.

However, it was around about now that things started to go drastically wrong. My moustache, which I possibly hadn't trimmed in a few days, got caught in the ring-tab of the can. And try as I might, I just couldn't free it. It was bloody painful as well.

So picture the scene. I'm driving along, trying to pull this can of coke off my face and ..... I hit a roundabout ..... which I'm sure you'll agree requires both hands on the wheel. So I had to drive around the roundabout with this fucking can hanging under my nose, swinging rhythmically against my teeth and spilling coke all down the front of my shirt.

And on top of that, the people in the other cars are pointing and laughing at me and telling their mates to, "Look at this twat." And there was nothing I could do but smile at them in a kind of self-conscious way as if I too appreciated the joke. I had no choice but to carry on driving with a can of coke hanging under my nose and emptying its contents all down my shirt.

That really pissed me off, I can tell you.