Dyslexic Jokes

Lighten up, Stuart, they're only a couple of jokes. And, as Mississippi notes, it's certainly a change of heart for YOU to take the moral high ground. You'll be talking like a re-born Christian next. It's often the case that people offended by a certain mode of speech (or should that be speach?) are actually offended IN DEFENCE of someone else. While those "afflicted", like Elf, have the actual maturity to appeciate self-deprecating humour. Tend to your own garden. A dyslexic walks into a bra .....

Fair point. I'll lighten up.

They're not funny, not for any other reason than they are silly!!!

They're funny because they are silly! My son is very dyslexic and he likes these jokes!

No they're not funny especially when you're of a parent of a young child with the problem, i laugh at most things and have laughed at things where i really shouldn't have. I don't find anything funny in laughing at disability now, you can't tell a parent with a child with dyslexia to lighten up can you?

a dyslexic pervert wanks into a bra.............

Right. This is like Sam Kinnison's argument that everything, no matter how sensitive, is there to be laughed at. Try this: A son accompanies his father to the doctor. The doctor tells the father that he's lung cancer. On the way home the father says 'I've only got three weeks to live, let's go to the pub.' So they go to their local and the father tells all the regulars that he is dying of AIDS. 'But dad,' says the son. 'You've got cancer, why are you telling them you're dying of AIDS?' And the father says 'Because I don't want anybody shagging your mother after I'm gone!' So is that offensive? If so, is it more offensive than jokes about dyslexia? Have we done this before?

Two dyslexic skiiers were wondering wether they ought to zig-zag down the piste or zag-zig. They decided to ask someone and button-holed a young man. "Excuse me," the first skiier said. "We were wondering wether we ought to zig-zag on the piste, or zag-zig. Could you tell us?." "Don't ask me," the young man replied. "I'm a tobogganist." "Well in that case," said the second skiier, "I'll have twenty Rothmans please." P.S. Why are Dyslexia/Dyslexic such hard words to spell?

hidi ho!!!! ahhh you knew i would have to post something on here. i would have to say that there is something different to tellin a joke and just being plain nasty. (which i have had before) the dyslexic jokes are just silly and iam the first person (well other then mark my dearest brother) to make them about myself. my head makes me laugh so much sometimes, at the what it comes up with and how little sence it makes. i think the difference with tellin a dyslexic joke and a joke about someone in a wheel chair or someone thats deaf. with special teaching and work, the effect of dyslexia on your every day life can be changed. but where as someone thats was born deaf, you cant teach them to hear. its a thin line with dyslexia, i have good and bad days about how i feel about having it, sometimes it just hits home about how bad i can be. but other days i think about when i first found out about havin it and had all the test and stuff my readin age was about 11 and i had this done at the age of 19, and it took me about 2/3 months to read a book so i didnt read that much. now i have finish my degree and a read all the time and read about 2-4 books a month. Tony do you know any good books on the subject?? iam goin to start to reseach it a bit, and write something about dyslexic. i was listernin to mark talkin about research the other night and it got me in the mood to do something.

That doesn't really work, for dyslexia is a condition associated with the written (not the spoken) word: and the real humour comes from the juggling of letters, not the everyday mishearing of words. In fact, I accuse you, K. Wiggins, of deliberately shoehorning a non-dyslexia joke into a dyslexia joke thread. How sad. Here's a taxi-driver joke: A taxi driver picks up a gorgeous nubile scantily-clad slightly dizzy teenage girl. "Thank you so much," says the girl, "Hang on, aren't you that bloke off the radio?" "Erm, yes, yes I am," lies the cabbie, thinking how this might lead to his taking advantage of the young siren, as that's all taxi drivers ever think about. "Oh cool", says the minx, "Anyway, thanks for picking me up on the street. I know you're not supposed to do that." "No probs," says the driver, unzipping his trousers, and unleashing his big hard mighty sword. "But since I did something for you, YOU have to do something for ME!" He indicates his throbbing trouser snake. "Aw okay," giggles the girl, "but I'm warning you, I've never done this sort of thing, and I may not be very good!" With this she bobs her head down, grabs the member, and shouts into it: "Hi everyone listening out there, this is Suzie on 121 FM!" ** By the way, whilst I agree with all the comments about the acceptability of laughing at disabilities, why has no one pointed out that Karl only started this thread because he hates Ralph who has dyslexia? [%sig%]

Alison - we found the Dyslexia Association very helpful with our boy. We fixed up a tutor for him through them and that got him a D in his English GCSE - which was a big step-up for him! They have a load of good books on their site but I just visited it and couldn't get the link to the bookshop to work! Take a look at: Good Luck!

cheers tony.

how did the interview go alison?

hmmm wasnt really the interview, it was a employment adgentcy. they said they like to interview peope before they send them forward to the job. i got it wrong. pooey but the good thing thats has come out of it is, iam starting tempin at the v and a tomorrow every tuesday, and they will let me know about most of the tempin jobs they get at art gallerys and museums, and they are goin to help me get a propa job to. they really liked my cv... said it was great and very interesting. i like them for that. and now my cv will start to look better, coz i'll have museum and gallery stuff on there. the only bad thing is, i have just come back from the dole and they said that if i earn more in that one day then i get off the dole, then i have to sign off. its 6 quid an hour and its 8 1/2 hours. i suppose its ok, but iam a bit scared now. :-s i have just sent the employment thing an email to say that i can do as much as they can give me. you never know i might get settled soon.

well thats brilliant :o)) it will all start rolling in now, you'll see...

thanks, i hope so. this being an adult stuff is scary sometimes. :-P aww i went to the shop on my way home from the thingy and i get me self some smart trousers and a skirt and some smart shoes for work. giggle i like i can say that. (got them from peacocks tho, 28 quid for the 3 items! still havnt made it to the big time yet.) i havnt got any new clothes in ages.

This being an adult stuff is scary for all of us Alison, in fact some of us just don't bother, it's easier and more fun being a kid. Glad you got your toe in the door with the job, the only way is up. Also that you see the humour in some of the dickleksia jokes and realise they're not meant to be nasty, but in a way they are accepting of the condition and try to bring it out in the open.

i love the way you spelled that there. i really cracked me up. i think i used to spell it like that *blush* maybe even worse. i just read back what i said earlier. god that was a little bit of a rant. :-S oh well. being a kid is fun thats why i have been known to go round to my mates to play.... i have gone round just to colour in or make things with a mate.

One day at the end of class little Johnny's teacher had the class go home and think of a story and then conclude the moral of that story. The following day the teacher asks for the first volunteer to tell their story. Little Suzy raises her hand. "My dad owns a farm and every Sunday we load the chicken eggs on the truck and drive into town to sell them at the market. Well, one Sunday we hit a big bump and all the eggs flew out of the basket and onto the road." The teacher asks for the moral of the story. Suzy replies, "Don't keep all your eggs in one basket." Next is little Lucy. "Well my dad owns a farm too and every weekend we take the chicken eggs and put them in the incubator. Last weekend only 8 of the 12 eggs hatched." The teacher asks for the moral of the story. Lucy replies "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched." Last is little Johnny. "My uncle Ted fought in the war; his plane was shot down over enemy territory. He jumped out before it crashed with only a case of beer, a machine gun and a machete. On the way down he drank the case of beer. Unfortunately, he landed right in the middle of 100 German soldiers. He shot 70 with his machine gun, but ran out of bullets, so he pulled out his machete and killed 20 more. The blade on his machete broke, so he killed the last ten with his bare hands." Greco looks on in shock at Johnny and asks if there is possibly any moral to his story. Johnny replies, "Don't **** with Uncle Ted when he's been drinking." ** By the way, Paul, I don't hate Ralph. He's just a dickhead. But what on earth has this thread got to do with him?

What do you call a dyslexic, agnostic with insomnia? Someone who lies awake at night wondering if there really is a Dog.

Why?

there was the dyslexic Elvis fan who only ever wore his jeans or the dyslexic pimp who tried to buy a warehouse from FCUK (double there...get it?) or the dyslexic mother who just shook her head and said "kids today!" after reading her son's note..."just got in from hard day at school, popping to my room for 40 winks"

Isn't our Alison Brown dyslexic? I wonder if she finds these jokes funny?

Hypocrites half hour is it Stufart? You come on all self-righteous when it suits you don't you?

So am I, and to me they're funny...

I went to a dyslexic rave and took a couple of "F's"