Todd Swift

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Mon, 2004-12-20 14:35

andrew_o'donnel...

Todd Swift

Found this in Issue Seven of Aesthetica. Waddya reckon?

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In Birmingham, At Bullring

Was going
To tell you was going
To the station, with you
Birmingham, after the gallery

We saw paintings, pre-Raphealite
Paintings we ate a meal in the father's day
Cafeteria there we saw a painting in the cafeteria
It was sad to me because who wants to hang like that

In a cafeteria full of fathers and people mopping the floor
I wanted to say that the way you walked down the street darling
That was very much the best part of the life I lived with you honey
And the weather although it was terrible often the rain and so on well

It was very much pleasant having to carry your bags and wait for the train
To take us to London which is as you know a large place that smells of smoke
And the gallery had paintings of a young man too poor to marry his fiancee so they
Just stood in a forest looking British for a very long time and like the leaves all

Around them and that was my favourite, along with an oval framed one that was also sad

Because it showed two middle class people sailing to Australia in the cold and they
Seemed to be regretting their voyage but ahoy there she goes and they had no
Choice which is such an important thing, and here we were choosing which
Train to take back, kings and queens of the timetable and we even left our

Bags with the old porter at the gallery for a few hours to wander without
Having to carry them which was a good idea sweetheart wasn't it and
How could we have known Duran Duran and industrial revolution
Were both born in Birmingham we couldn't have until we

Bought the guide book which guided us to the Bullring
Which is a funny name for a shopping plaza but that
Is what it was, very new and stylish and award-
Winning design and lots of round platters

On the store that sold kids shoes you
Bought some for your nieces
Cuz you are lovely like
That, Sara.

-----------------------------

There are a few more examples of Todd Swift's stuff at www.toddswift.com

[%sig%]

Mon, 2004-12-20 16:54

Liana

There is some stonking content in this - the painting in the cafe part, and the couple sailing. The rest I thought clever and all, but it didnt do a deal for me. Keep going back to the cafeteria part tho... cracking.

Mon, 2004-12-20 17:36

andrew o'donnell

Yeah.. it stood out from the whole issue.. and thanks for reacting so quickly Liana. Yeah.. liked- '..we ate a meal in the father's day Cafeteria there we saw a painting in the cafeteria It was sad to me because who wants to hang like that In a cafeteria full of fathers and people mopping the floor' Also liked- 'so they/Just stood in a forest looking British for a very long time..' I really liked it but think he's overdone it a little bit with the 'honey's' and perhaps over-sentimentalising (for my tastes.. I'd keep in 'Cuz you are lovely like/That, Sara' though.. IF the rest were a little bit more taught ) BUT a lot of it is brilliantly well observed. I do like the rambling quality of it as well.. that tone is quite difficult to do without sounding a bit naff. Don't think it's quite found its form yet.. he seems to be going for the whole pubic triangle thing.. not sure if it works. Am I being too harsh? [%sig%]

Mon, 2004-12-20 17:51

Liana

Not at all... I think the cafeteria is the heart of the poem. It needs stripping right back to that. That image of the painting - the shame of where it is, hanging somewhere that is marginally better than the bogs, that is the core. All the other stuff... the rambling, the line lengths, just obscure the best bit. I'd go deeper into that part and lose the rest. Still, not everyone likes the same thing eh? And 'tis clever, to be sure.

Mon, 2004-12-20 19:27

Spack

How funny, Todd's in my poetics class at UEA. I liked this poem alot, the ambling quality to it is nicely disarming and you're right, the cafeteria section is the highlight. The form didn't add very much for me except that, I suppose, it probably looks nice on the page. I'll tell him about this flag. Cheers, Joe

Tue, 2004-12-21 03:13

andrew o'donnell

Cool, thanks Joe..

Tue, 2004-12-21 03:41

Spack

Just thought... the form could be reflecting those crazy escalators they have in the bullring... Hmm. Joe

Tue, 2004-12-21 04:38

andrew o'donnell

So it's not pubes at all?? Gutted..

Tue, 2004-12-21 06:08

andrew o'donnell

From the website- 'Todd Swift is currently living with his wife in London, England.' Must be commuting(?) [%sig%]

Tue, 2004-12-21 22:16

#10

Spack

Yeah, he is I think. We only have two days a week anyway. Ah the five day weekend. I emailed him the link. Joe

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