A festive diplomatic incident...

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Mon, 2008-12-22 15:58

2Lou

A festive diplomatic incident...

... waiting to happen.

Dear ABC Agony Aunts

Here it is. We have D’s Mum and Step-dad coming for Boxing Day and his Dad coming for Christmas Day – same as last year. (I suspect Mum and Step-dad’s noses are already out of joint over this but Step-dad is the most irritating man in the Universe so we’d rather he ruin Boxing Day than Xmas Day.)

We have since been invited to friends’ for drinks Boxing Day afternoon. D mentioned this to his mum at very end of phonecall – saying we just have to pop out for a couple of hours in the afternoon. D means for us to go on our own with kids and leave relatives at home.

My problem is… you can’t do that, can you? You can’t invite people over and then eff off for two hours. We could bring them along too but a) why would they want to go and talk to a load of people they don’t know and b) some of said friends are particularly… erm… outlandish and Step-Dad is bound to disapprove and make it blatantly obvious, c) Step-Dad corners people and talks at them until they lose the will to live – would that be fair on the hosts…

D thinks all this is fine and is determined to go – I know it is going to end up as my fault if I put foot down and say we can’t.

Do you think we can get away with it?

Any thoughts gratefully received.
Lou

Mon, 2008-12-22 19:00

2Lou

Okay - at the very least we should leave the kids with the grandparents. Will be seen as babysitting but better than mass abandonment... calm, calm, calm... ~ www.fabulousmother.co.uk

~
www.fabulousmother.co.uk

Mon, 2008-12-22 21:19

Moimo

This depends on how your friends would react and how D would feel. Would your friends find it amusing when confronted by Step-Dad and be able to hide it from him, which could be fun. Or would they react badly, thus insulting Step-Dad, which wouldn't be good, or would they be insulted to bring them along. Warn your friends in advance. Babysitting sounds good and has advantages including amount of drinks that can be consumed. Craig

Tue, 2008-12-23 00:57

ivoryfishbone

either give everyone involved a choice - oh dear, we have to do this, would you like to come along or perhaps you'd rather have a quiet hour or two ... or maybe spend some quality time with the kids? kids ... would you like to come along or spend quality time with blah ... friends do you mind if i bring along blah ... look in mirror ... hello lou, what would YOU like? make a chart that compares/contrasts everyones' preferences, carefully gauge the least offensive option ... or say fuckit all and just do what you want ...

Tue, 2008-12-23 08:11

mykle

Some things are very difficult to plan for and it is best to consider all the options you can think of and do what you can to maximise your chances of a favourable outcome and then wait for the day. Flu, and several other factors could play a major part in how things develop so don't worry... expect the unexpected and remain flexible. Most important is that you are all well enough to enjoy the festivities. Good luck Lou.

Tue, 2008-12-23 08:12

Ewan

I would concur with the last alternative above.

Author Page at the 'Zon

Tue, 2008-12-23 12:16

2Lou

Thank you aunties – much appreciated! Have just had ‘discussion’ with D (it’s my birthday so he couldn’t get tooooo ratty). Not much good though – won’t invite them along, won’t leave youngest at home (because he arranged to take her to see other kids, hmmmm, he also arranged for his mother to come down first…). Options are… leave eldest at home with rels (she won’t want to go anyway) and the three of us go to friends’ OR D kindly suggested, I could stay at home with eldest and the dreaded Gordon and he’d take youngest. If that happens, D will ‘forget’ the time for sure and turn up five minutes before the evening meal. Decided to play it by ear (flu could most certainly be a factor) but assuming D's not under duvet, I’m def going to dobb him in to his mother and tell her I’ve washed my hands of all arrangements… I’m somewhat cheered by my birthday present of a Maggie Thatcher nutcracker, though… no really, you put the walnuts between her thighs and…. I’ll leave it on table on Boxing Day – Gordon will loathe it, he adores Thatcher. Did I mention Gordon wears a cravat? ~ www.fabulousmother.co.uk

~
www.fabulousmother.co.uk

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