Yay. I really enjoyed this. Great details, consistently inventive language, some strong images and a sense of narrative that makes you work for it. Great stuff - not entirely convinced by the title/ending, it seems a shame to end such a strong piece with a pun/play on words. But excellent all the same.
Nice one Nikaya,
*dofs hat*
You more than met my challenge, Nikaya. Perhaps a bit of pruning is in order but don't chop it up too much - I think you sustain the reader's interest very well.
Cheers,,
Joe
Tyler King
Tyler King