jamesfriend/belindam1974

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Sat, 2006-04-29 16:25

http://www.abctales.com/story/belindam1974/james-friend

Well written, maybe a little shallow ending but god read. Maybe could do with more paragraphs and a few less sentences starting 'I' or 'He'. What do others think?

Sat, 2006-04-29 20:24

Juliet OC

i am afraid the end weakened this for me it seemed to be building into a really witty punchline then didn't deliver. I agree it was a good start and i really wanted to read on, great style direct to the reader and the use of caps works. Juliet

Juliet

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