Katie's Shoes by Fire

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Sat, 2006-05-20 11:36

http://www.abctales.com/story/fire/katies-shoes

IMO it'd benefit from a litle light edit and a spell check - but overall, I enjoyed this. Think there may have been a name change at some point though - 'Gary' pops up a couple of times. Entertaining read.

Sat, 2006-05-20 11:46

archergirl

Ahh, nothing like the past to enliven the present. I agree, entertaining read but in dire need of spell/grammar check (their, there, they're, for example). I'd also separate out the paragraphs, but that's just a personal bugaboo. Good story though. Quite realistic!

Sat, 2006-05-20 18:37

Juliet OC

there is lots that is good about this, the dialogue is very natural and reads effortlessly, however i felt it petered out slightly towards the end, i was expecting it to return to katie's shoes, did she get them? For me it started strong then lost its way a little. brought back memories of when i was made to wear boys shoes!!! Juliet

Juliet

Sat, 2006-05-20 22:03

fire

Hey thanks for the feedback. I know that its a little rough around the sides, and i know i should have paid more attention at school! to be honest im not much good at spelling and i dont really know the correct way to write sentences and stuff, but hey im trying... so please bare with me. :)

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