At least our chocolate won't melt

Headline yesterday from the scaremongers: 20 YEARS LEFT TO HALT THE SUPERBUG APOCALYPSE!

The threat from resistant superbugs is now more serious than global warming! There are very few new treatments on the horizon and Prof Dame Sally Davies has told MPs it should be considered a civil emergency, “When I need a new hip in 20 years time, I’ll die from a routine infection because we’ve run out of antibiotics.”

It seems that bacteria are becoming immune to 21st century medicines, which in turn is creating more superbugs. Prof Davies has described the production of new antibiotics as “an empty pipeline.”

Well that’s just what I wanted to hear on my way into work …. But wait, I turn the page and there’s good news on the horizon! A £73 million research plan is developing chocolate which doesn’t melt, and this is going to boost exports of British biscuits to hot countries.

So in 20 years time we’ll be dying because routine infections will be causing Plague and Black Death ….. but at least our chocolate won’t melt.