Mood-grief by maisie

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Sun, 2006-01-08 19:20
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lisa h
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Mood-grief by maisie

http://www.abctales.com/story/maisie/mood--grief

I rather liked this, felt like the beginning of something bigger?

The only niggle I was left with IMHO was that she had kicked out her husband on the basis of a photo, and never seemed to have the assurance that the child and woman were his. Also why cut up all his clothing if you are not going to have the pleasure of seeing his expression?

Overall, a good read,

Lisa

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cc
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This was a beautiful story, and it captured some authentic emotion. However, I agree with Lisa that it started a bit bigger than it ended. Perhaps it needed more of a moral lesson, as is often found with these types of vignettes. Maybe some sort of twist at the conclusion, which would surprise the reader just a bit? Maybe (and I know this is presumptuous of me) she receives a letter from the other woman that tells one more part of the story? Anyway, without that ending, it's still a delightful snapshot, and worth reading.
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maisie
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i wrote this peice for an ou course i took in 2003 i think.. long time back, it had to be exactly 500 words.... yikes, i dont do squeezes perfectly and written in that viewpoint too, which isnt the easiest to do... properly...

maisie angel Guess what?  I'm still alive!

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cc
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Ha! Very cool ending to this story after all :-)
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