The Fisher King - Gilbert

http://www.abctales.com/story/gilbert/the-fisher-king Yeah, I like this one too. Lots of great images, especially 'slipknot of beach', 'languid as a June night', 'small ghosts of footprints'. I'm not so sure about it being called 'The Fisher King', since it makes you think too much of the iconic original without playing on it, and I do think the 'white stallions' image is too worn and second-hand. I think 'hot eyes' and 'languid' are slightly conflicting. I know things can be hot and languid - but when hot is used to describe eyes, it makes me think of them being very active and intense. I also think it needs a stronger ending. It works rhythmically, and 'unrelenting' is a strong word, but I think finishing on the silence is a bit flat. Silence is a hard thing to capture effectively in poems. As well as that, I don't think it can be true - surely there's the sound of the towering waves?

Thanks for flagging this and also for the kind comments, Tina. The silence, as you suggest is metaphoric, but I take Jon`s points re the close and "hot/languid". Thanks again.